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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238580">Victoria: A Love Surpassing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MRKlinger87/pseuds/MRKlinger87'>MRKlinger87</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Victoria (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drumfred, I fixed it, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Revisionist History</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:15:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>69,278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MRKlinger87/pseuds/MRKlinger87</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows the story of Lord Alfred Paget and Edward Drummond, without much of the heartbreak. We all know the events of chapters 1-4 as they follow the canon of the show. At five, we divert heavily so I'll post 1-5 in rapid succession </p><p>This fic is based heavily on both the events depicted in the ITV show 'Victoria' as well as true events of English history. In many cases dates and players have been altered (from a historical standpoint) for the sake of narrative. This story diverts from both 'Victoria' and from history with license taken for story telling; regardless, I believe the attitudes and actions of many of the characters within this fic are true both to their portrayal on screen or, in the case of the Queen and Prince Albert, who the individuals were in life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha/Victoria of the United Kingdom (1819-1901), Edward Drummond (1792-1843)/Alfred Paget (1816-1888)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Entente Cordiale</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Concerned that a marriage between the French Prince and the Spanish Queen could set up a dangerous alliance for England, Victoria sets sail for her first visit to the Continent to deal with the wiley French monarch, meanwhile, Victoria's staff deals with their own feelings.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun felt different here, Alfred was sure of that. Everything felt different, in fact - well, nearly everything. He'd been following Her Majesty around most of the day, like he did every day, but unlike most days, Sir Robert Peel's private secretary was there, representing the Government. It wasn't that Alfred disliked having Edward Drummond on the trip to France, quite the contrary actually, but Drummond was certainly distracting him from his duties.</p><p>"Isn't that right, Lord Alfred?" Damn, the Queen had been talking and again, Alfred had been lost in his own world.</p><p>"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm afraid I didn't quite hear what your question was."</p><p>Victoria huffed lightly. "It's of no consequence, but really Lord Alfred. What was the point of you coming to Paris with us if you aren't going to be present?" She'd never sounded so irritated with him before and Alfred found that he was upset with himself that he'd disappointed the Queen.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I seem to be having a difficult time concentrating."</p><p>"You see, Your Majesty," the French king cut in. "It is the lovely French women, they steal away the minds of all the young men. You have nothing like them back in England."</p><p>Victoria rolled her eyes, something that Alfred mirrored, Victoria did not miss it and she gave her Equerry a small, conspiratorial smile. She may not have understood why Alfred wasn't pulled in by French charms, but she certainly could see that he hadn't been; a fact that she quite enjoyed.</p><p>"Lord Alfred," she began. This time Alfred paid attention to every syllable, "Prince Albert will be taking a walk with King Louis Philippe's son soon. You should join him, clear your mind. And take Drummond with you."</p><p>It was a brilliant idea, except that Drummond was the cause of Alfred's distraction, but where the Queen directed...</p><p>***</p><p>Drummond and Alfred were a few steps behind Prince Albert; they couldn't quite hear what he was complaining about, but there was no question he was complaining. He came to a dead stop and Alfred and Drummond caught up with him.</p><p>"Endlich etwas reales." (At last, something real)</p><p>"What are you doing?" the French prince asked.</p><p>Albert was already stripping down. "I'm going for a swim."</p><p>The prince continued his protestations, but Prince Albert jumped in any ways.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, Alfred could see the mischievous grin - God that grin - quirk up the corner of Drummond's mouth. "Shall we?" he asked.</p><p>Alfred returned the smile and before even answering started removing his own jacket. "I don't see why not."</p><p>It suddenly became a race to get naked and Alfred caught himself exhaling loudly, he tried to mask it with a chuckle and the two ran gingerly to the edge of the small pond, before taking a leap and falling the 25 feet or more into the water below.</p><p>The pair wrestled around in the water, with Albert swimming around them, though looking resolutely elsewhere, until his brother, Prince Ernest jumped in also, fully clothed.</p><p>The water was very cold and Alfred thrilled every time his body pressed up against Edward's as they splashed each other and wrestled around. He did not, however miss the occasional strange glances that Princes Albert and Ernest were giving them; looks of discomfort.</p><p>They continued splashing around for some time even after Drummond mentioned that he thought he saw a bonnet retreating from above, where they'd jumped from.</p><p>***</p><p>The carriage back to Her Majesty's yacht, the<span class="u">Victoria and Albert</span> set a very different mood from the playful fun of the French sunshine. The Duchess wasted no time in telling all who would listen how she detested the French and the trip. And even though Albert and Victoria were celebrating their diplomatic victory, Alfred was already regretting the return to England and all that was waiting for them in London, like Edward's fiance. If he'd have had his way, he could have existed forever in that pool in the French country side with Drummond.</p><p>***</p><p>The celebratory supper was small but had a joyous atmosphere none-the-less. Prince Albert's disposition seemed to be improving markedly and the Queen was celebrating their success at getting King Louis Philippe to pledge not to marry off his son to the Spanish Queen, thus thwarting the, self-styled Emperor from expanding his influence even more.</p><p>Alfred was enjoying his dinner well enough, though he had to admit, that once again, he'd been failing to pay attention to the Queen as she explained to Prime Minister Robert Peel that it had been Albert's words that had convinced the French to see it their way. He'd only caught the last sentence or two but it was enough to know his role as Courtier where he was meant to interject. He hadn't been so successful in court without his charms.</p><p>He lifted his glass. "To His Royal Highness."</p><p>The gathered guests all raised their glasses, but rather than making eye contact with His Royal Highness or Queen Victoria, Alfred found himself locked in the dark, deep eyes of Edward Drummond, who seemed as equally lost in Alfred's.</p><p>"We are grateful to you, sir. This country can hardly afford another war with France," Peel said.</p><p>"Do you really think it would come to that?" Victoria said, taking a drink. Alfred watched intently. "I found Louis Philippe most congenial."</p><p>The Queen had barely finished her sentence before Sir Robert spoke. "I'm sure he was, Ma'am. But his country is not. They've had one revolution, they could easily have another." He took a big breath and zeroed his eyes in on the Queen. "And when a king is under pressure, the easiest way to unite his people is to find a common enemy." He took a big drink from his wine glass.</p><p>Across the table, the Duchess was making sounds of pleasure.</p><p>"Do you wish to say something, Duchess?" The Queen asked without malice.</p><p>The Duchess put her spoon down with a smile. "I was merely thinking how pleasant it is to be eating English food again."</p><p>Victoria laughed. "You're too old fashioned. I thought the food was delicious."</p><p>Alfred watched the Duchess with amusement as she continued. "It is not honest food. Everything's covered in sauces. Who knows what's underneath. Give me a wholesome plate of boiled mutton and turnips."</p><p>A laugh went around the table and Alfred again found Drummond's eyes.</p><p>When Victoria rose, announcing that she was finished, Albert rose too, though his plate was still conspicuously full. Of course, had it been a formal state dinner, everyone would have been done when the Queen was, but this was a much smaller affair, not nearly as bound in formalities. A smirk was playing at Albert's mouth as he followed his wife into their suite of rooms.</p><p>It didn't take long for the guests to depart, Sir Robert and Edward included. And even as Edward followed the Prime Minister, he glanced back again and again, making eye contact with Alfred.</p><p>Lady Sutherland bumped Alfred under the table, her eyes lifted in a warning.</p><p>Several more minutes passes before Alfred spoke. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me as well." Alfred rose and made his way down the long hallway with high ceilings, to his own rooms.</p><p>Once inside his own, small three room chambers, Alfred quickly undid his necktie and collar, and tossed his coat over the back of a chair. He settled into his desk and dipped the fine silver pen into the ink pot and started letting his fingers guide the pen over the paper.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Drummond,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do hope you weren't too behind when you made it back to the House this afternoon. I can scarcely believe the way things worked out in France and hope you are as enthusiastic about it as I. I must admit, I'm not quite certain as to why I'm writing you, though it seemed like the right thing to do. I do hope to see you next time Sir Robert has an audience with Her Majesty; perhaps tomorrow when he comes.</em>
</p><p> <em>Yours,</em></p><p>
  <em>Alfred</em>
</p><p>He closed the letter, pressing the seal into the wax, making an imprint before he slipped out into the corridor again to find a footman.</p><p>"Have this delivered to Mr. Edward Drummond," he directed before returning to his rooms and tucked in, thinking of Edward's warm skin against his own.</p><p>***</p><p>When Alfred awoke the next morning, he'd rather hoped that he might have a reply from Edward, though he did concede that his own letter likely didn't get to the Drummond home until much later than one would expect.</p><p>He quashed down his disappointment and dressed for the day.</p><p>Stepping out into the corridor, he could hear the hustle and bustle of a morning around the palace.</p><p>Despite not having received a response from Edward, Alfred went about his day much more productively that he had been recently, with a wide smile on his face.</p><p>"Lord Alfred," Victoria said as she passed him in the hallway. "You're certainly happier and more present than you have been of late."</p><p>"Yes Ma'am. I seem to have gotten a dose of something."</p><p>"If I didn't know any better, I'd say some lovely lady has stolen your boyish heart. But we both know that the only person you've spent any appreciable time with recently is Peel's secretary, Drummond."</p><p>Alfred fought to keep his smile from widening. "Indeed ma'am, no young lady has been able to claim my heart. And you are correct, the only person I've spent time with outside of my duties with you, Majesty, has been Mr. Drummond."</p><p>"Yes well. I'm glad to see you happy again. It gives me no happiness to have one of my dearest advisors so down in the dithers."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am." He tilted his head in a slight bow. "</p><p>***</p><p>Edward stood at the railing, watching the English Channel slip past. So much had happened during the trip to France. It truly felt like some diametric change in his life was happening. He'd been trying to understand the strange feelings he'd get every time he was at Buckingham, a strange mixture of anticipation and anxiety. At first he thought it was about having to be around and have access to the Sovereign. But he very quickly discovered that Victoria, while a formidable woman, was certainly not someone that he should fear - Sir Robert perhaps should - but not him. He'd started to understand after a conversation with the Queen's Chief Equerry. Lord Alfred seemed to be telegraphing to him - commenting that men like he and Drummond would never understand the fairer sex. Strangely, that was a fairly accurate description of what Edward felt.</p><p>It wasn't that he didn't love Florence, he thought - though he admitted, he didn't really know her all that well. His father had arranged the marriage with the Eighth Marquess of Lothian, Florence's father. But as the waves slipped past, the French coast slow shrinking behind the ship, Edward wondered if it was truly possible to love someone he didn't know. But then he didn't know Lord Alfred either, not really. How could he say that he didn't know Florence enough to love her when he felt... He couldn't go down that particular train of thought.</p><p>What was he supposed to do? He'd learned so much about himself on this trip. He still felt the ghost of Lord Alfred's body against his own in the water as they swam. His heart had thrilled how, while splashing around, Lord Alfred had, for just a moment, wound his arms around his neck. For the briefest moment, he thought maybe Alfred would kiss him and he dared to hope that he would. Of course, Edward had also been acutely aware that Prince Albert and Prince Ernest were there, and surely watching them. And even though they looked a little uncomfortable at the favor Alfred was clearly showing Edward, they said nothing. It has all been so surreal that Edward was scarcely sure it had actually happened. And now, as <span class="u">HMY Victoria and Albert</span> steamed away from France, further from that magical pool and waterfall, it became harder to believe. He was left only now with the feeling of joy that it had sparked, and the dread filling him as London drew ever nearer.</p><p>He turned from the railing to head below - lunch would be served soon and he did not want to miss the last meal he'd be sharing with Lord Alfred before London, even if it was surrounded by the rest of court. A block of dark movement caught the corner of his eye and Edward let his sight trail to follow. Lord Alfred stood on the small deck just above and was looking down at him. His expression seemed a thousand miles away.</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred sat on the beautiful veranda overlooking the gardens, and watched as the Queen sat at the edge of the pond drawing what he was certain was Princess Victoria. From the corner of the garden, he could see Prince Albert and Sir Robert approaching, both very irritated and walking with a purpose. Alfred listened carefully as they approached the Queen.</p><p>"Albert? What is it, what's the matter?" Victoria asked, rising from her seat and easel.</p><p>The prince ran a hand through his hair. "We've been deceived."</p><p>Peel's head dropped in a bow. "Your Majesty; King Louis's son has become engaged to the Spanish queen."</p><p>The Queen's gaze bounced between Peel and Albert. "Louis Philippe gave us his word."</p><p>"He was using us, Victoria." Albert walked away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Faith, Hope, & Charity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Horrified of the famine sweeping Ireland, Victoria tries to persuade her government to take action. The Prime Minister, while moved by his own conscience is reluctant to take action, fearing it could destroy his own party.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alfred rose and joined the household, and like everyday for the past several weeks, Victoria spoke of nothing but the blight in Ireland. Each day she pleaded with her advisors for direction, how she might provide some comfort to her people in Ireland and each day, no suggestion of value came. Whatever Victoria recommended, the Prime Minister shot down, especially the idea that she should want to go to Ireland, believing that her presence would provide some comfort. The whole situation became surprisingly clear with Sir Robert's response.</p><p>"I'm not sure how much comfort you'd be ma'am.... I could not guarantee your safety."</p><p>That last sentence hit the Queen like a bucket of ice water, and she wasn't the only one. It was safe to say that for those safe in Buckingham Palace, the idea that the Irish not love their monarch was startling to say the least, even to Alfred, who like to think himself something of worldly.</p><p>After breakfast, Alfred decided it was time to disappear out onto the balcony to take the air. He was coming down the staircase, his feet nearly soundless on the plush red carpet when his eyes found the shape of a man that they so often longed for.</p><p>"Drummond. I... I didn't know you were at the palace."</p><p>Edward smiled crookedly at him. "I had some papers for the Queen from the Prime Minister."</p><p>They stared at each other for several seconds, long enough that would raise eyebrows of anyone passing by.</p><p>"I should go," Drummond broke the silence. "There's a debate on the Irish Question."</p><p>Alfred nodded. "Yes, the Queen talks about nothing else."</p><p>Edward glanced up, a little irritation visible on his face. He leaned in a little, "The Prime Minister's doing what he can. He can't alter his policy just because the Queen's read some letters in the Times."</p><p>Alfred was caught off guard by Drummond's bristling. "The Irish are starving."</p><p>"Then the Queen should reach into her own purse." He sighed. "Women are so damn emotional."</p><p>Alfred straightened his back and leveled himself. "Women like your fiance."</p><p>Edward closed his eyes seeming to be avoiding looking into Alfred's. "She's insisting on setting a date right in the middle of the session."</p><p>Alfred nodded, trying to show support but he could not hide the pain in his eyes.</p><p>"Sorry." Edward glanced down at the floor before looking back up, still refusing to meet Alfred's eyes. "You don't want to hear about that, do you?"</p><p>Alfred suddenly found his shoes very interesting but forced himself to look back up into Edward's warm eyes.</p><p>"I must go to the debate. Good bye, Alfred." It felt so final, Alfred could feel his stomach sink, he could almost imagine physical pain as Drummond took a step. He looked back briefly watching the man that he had deep feelings for - he hadn't been ready to admit love, and now he most certainly wouldn't - walk away before he started in the opposite direction, each step being harder to take than the last.</p><p>***</p><p>Peel and Drummond were still discussing the Irish Question while they walked from their offices to the Chamber.</p><p>"In County Cork, the potato crop has failed completely," Drummond said quietly to the Prime Minister, not to be overheard by other MPs. "But if you send relief to Ireland..."</p><p>"Then every factory worker in Manchester will ask why he must spend half his income on bread while the Irish peasant is given charity." It wasn't distain that was in the Peel's voice, rather it was frustration, a feeling of impotence. "If I send help to Ireland, Drummond, it is only just that I repeal those laws that artificially protect the price of British wheat. If I do that..."</p><p>"The party will rebel."</p><p>Peel glanced around. "Every Tory squire whose income is guaranteed by the Corn Laws will think I've betrayed them." He turned and walked into the Chamber, leaving Drummond to follow before he turned around just briefly. "And they'd be right to do so." He continued again.</p><p>***</p><p>The Chamber of the House of Commons was barely controlled bedlam, as it normally was. And the Whips were doing everything they could to put Peel down. "Wouldn't the Prime Minister agree that it is time to call the formidable effects of the potato blight a <em>famine</em> and act accordingly?" the Whip MP sat down on the bench when he finished.</p><p>Peel rose to defend. "If it were known that we undertook the task of supplying the Irish with food, we would to a great extent, lose the support of the Irish Gentry, Irish Clergy, and the Irish farmer!"</p><p>Shouts erupted from both sides of the Chamber; Whips and Torys rising, shouting and shaking papers enthusiastically.</p><p>"ORDER! ORDER!" the speaker shouted, trying to regain control of the Commons.</p><p>Peel continued, calmer now, words that he didn't fully believe. "It is quite impossible for the Government to support four million people."</p><p>Edward could see the set of defeat in his mentor's shoulders.</p><p>Shouts of disagreement started from the Whips side and the Speaker started again, "ORDER! ORDER!"</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred stood back, behind Her Majesty as the so called expert on Ireland blathered on and on, completely missing the cues from the Queen, Prime Minister, and Drummond, that Victoria had heard enough from him.</p><p>"But Ma'am, if the Government provides food, we would be creating a country of dependents. Why should a man struggle to make his living while his neighbor lives in idleness?"</p><p>The Queen lifted her head, struggling to keep her emotions, her anger from becoming too visible. "Thank you Mister Trevelyan. You may leave us," Victoria said clearly, using the 'royal we' that she only used as a means of conveying her final authority. The look of shock on Trevelyan's face was priceless and Alfred wished he could have it immortalized, as he did every time the Queen reminded a man that he was talking down to the Sovereign.</p><p>Peel turned with a look of disgust toward Trevelyan, his eyes angry as he too telegraphed that the 'expert' should leave.</p><p>Trevelyan bowed his head and backed out of the room, Victoria chose to look down, rather than acknowledge him any further, adding insult to his already shameful dismissal.</p><p>Peel looked at his Queen - all three men, Peel, Drummond, and Alfred, - watched as the immense authority of the monarch, clothed in a woman of no more than five feet, breathed heavily; barely controlling her anger, trying to avoid an outburst. But it became clear that her anger was going to be the only way these men of Government listened to her.</p><p>Alfred could see what was coming, he'd watched Victoria lash out before, and he widened his eyes, trying to warn Edward. But why? Why should he warn Drummond of the humiliation that was coming after Edward had humiliated him.</p><p>Drummond and Peel looked at each other, maybe suspecting the hurricane the young Sovereign was about to unleash.</p><p>"I will NOT stand by while the Irish DIE of hunger."</p><p>Peel closed his eyes. He didn't disagree, but he also recognized that if he were to continue to govern and make sweeping social changes, he had to stay Prime Minister. And helping the Irish was not popular.</p><p>"I cannot have it on my conscience," she continued. "Sir Robert, remember First Corinthians 13:13: and now abideth faith, hope, charity; the greatest of these is charity."</p><p>Peel closed his eyes before replying and Alfred watched as he shifted uncomfortably. "You must believe that I have examined my own conscience most rigorously; ma'am."</p><p>Drummond glanced briefly at Peel before turning his attention back to the Queen. She looked at him, her lips pursed before she came around her desk and walked between the two men. "Come with me, Sir Robert," she commanded.</p><p>Edward looked at Alfred but Alfred made only a face that told him he was confused as Drummond. Peel followed, surprisingly into the Queen's bed chamber and through, to the nursery.</p><p>And Alfred understood, smiling a little before he relaxed.</p><p>Even across the expansive hallway, Alfred could tell that Peel had not closed the door to the nursery. He could not initially hear what the Queen was saying to the Prime Minister, but he could hear the infant Princess Alice as she wailed.</p><p>Finally, the strong yet emotional voice of the Queen carried over the cries. "As a mother, I will NOT let my people starve."</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred breathed in deeply as he stood on the balcony, taking in the London air. He felt the pain deep within him, the pain he had hoped would grow weaker, but seeing Edward with the Prime Minster earlier reminded him of how much he did love the man. And damn it, Alfred could deny it no longer and he scrubbed at his eyes with the meat of his palms trying to preempt the tears he could feel welling there.</p><p>A moment later could hear the voices inside. The chatter of the Irish servant. It didn't take long for Alfred to realize that she was speaking with the Queen.</p><p>"It was a splendid thing you did, sending for Dr. Traill."</p><p>Alfred moved closer to the door to watch, abandoning his own thoughts, shaking them of for just a while later.</p><p>"You know him?" Victoria said, clearly moved.</p><p>The young girl sounded terrified addressing Victoria and she seemed to be slightly folded in on herself. "I know of him, Ma'am. I come from Schull, where he's the Rector."</p><p>Victoria moved closer to the young woman.</p><p>"But I am not of his Church." Tears broke down the young girls eyes, as she pleaded, looking into the Queen's brilliant blue eyes. "I wanted this position so badly."</p><p>Victoria tilted her head and Alfred could imagine the sympathetic look on the monarch's face. "I have no objection to Catholics in the household."</p><p>The servant girl nodded. "God bless you, ma'am."</p><p>"Tell me," Victoria paused and Alfred could see her take an unsteady breath. "How is your family?"</p><p>"Gone to America, Ma'am. I sent them money to pay the rent. But it was too late, and they were evicted."</p><p>Alfred felt his heart sink even further, sympathy for the young woman piling onto his own heartbreak. His eyes threatened to overflow again.</p><p>"So my father decided to emigrate. They sail from Cork next week." A weak smile played at her lips but it faded fast as she started to cry. "My mother says she'll write when they're settled, America's so far away..." her accent had never sounded thicker.</p><p>The two women shared a moment that was shattered by the Baroness's approach. "Miss Cleary." She looked at the servant and Queen. "I'm sorry, Majesty, for the disturbance."</p><p>"It's alright, Lehzen." Victoria turned back to the young woman. "Thank you for confiding in me."</p><p>Cleary curtseyed very low, almost ridiculously so before she made her exit down one of the hidden access halls for the staff. Baroness Lehzen approached the Queen. "I didn't know she was a Catholic when I offered her the position."</p><p>Victoria looked at her former governess with surprise. "As if that matters," she said, turning to walk away. Alfred ducked back out onto the balcony so as to not be thought of for eavesdropping.</p><p>***</p><p>Edward sat quietly listening to his mentor as he addressed the Commons.</p><p>"Are we to sit in Cabinet and calculate how much dysentery and diarrhea our people can take before it becomes necessary for us to provide them with food?"</p><p>Drummond was so proud of the Prime Minister. Peel had clearly thrown his party politics aside for his conscience. It had just needed Her Majesty's encouragement. Peel looked down at Drummond with a proud smirk as the argument around him swept up.</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred sat along the windowsill watching Hyde Park darken, his thoughts on the tall man who'd swept in with the Prime Minister and swept him away. His heart on the feeling of warmth and safety in those few seconds in the cold water with Drummond. Her Majesty was just feet away, answering correspondence, occasionally asking Alfred's opinion or for clarification of different things.</p><p>A footman quietly entered with a letter on a silver salver. Victoria opened it and read. Her sharp intake of air pulled Paget from his thoughts and he rose and approached. "Your Majesty?"</p><p>The words were barely out of his mouth before Prince Albert entered the room.</p><p>"Albert," the Queen said weakly. "Dr. Traill."</p><p>The Prince wrapped the young woman in his arms and comforted her as she began to cry, letting the note slip to the floor. Alfred approached and picked it up, giving it a quick glance before placing it on Victoria's desk. He did not miss the news. The caring parson from the Church of Ireland, the man who'd illuminated so much to the Queen - and in turn to the Prime Minister - had died of Typhoid. An outbreak had started in his community and he'd opened his rectory as a soup kitchen. It hadn't taken long for the parson to contract Typhoid and the disease took its natural toil.</p><p>So much heartbreak. Alfred squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to will himself not to cry. "If you'll excuse me, Ma'am," he said, leaving the room and making his way to his own chambers. How was Lord Alfred Paget supposed to cope. His heart was utterly crushed and everything that could be a distraction was all the more heartbreaking. Irish dying by the millions, and it wasn't some academic disaster, or some distant pain on the continent. This was affecting people he knew directly, all while he tried to hold himself together.</p><p>He was just about to break down as he laid on his bed, when a subtle knock broke the relative silence. Alfred rose and opened the door to find the young footman, Brodie, standing there.</p><p>"A Mister Drummond from Her Majesty's Government is here, Lord Alfred."</p><p>Alfred blinked. "Ah, yes. Have him wait in the Grand Hall. I'll inform Her Majesty."</p><p>Brodie shifted on his feet. "Actually sir, he's here for you. Should I take him to the Amber drawing room?"</p><p>"Um... No Brodie, bring him here."</p><p>The footman looked at his strangely but agreed and disappeared. Alfred turned and pulled his jacket back on over his wrinkled shirt, not bothering to do up his collar or tie.</p><p>A subtle knock at the door told him he was out of time. He ran his hand haphazardly through his hair and opened the door.</p><p>"Mister Edward Drummond for you, Lord Alfred." He motioned Drummond in.</p><p>"Thank you, Brodie," Alfred said as he swung the door shut and turned to his guest. Drummond was wearing the burgundy coat that he seemed to wear everywhere. It was clearly a favorite of his, worn but not inappropriate, comfortable looking in fact.</p><p>"A drink, Drummond?" He moved around the small sitting room of his apartment for the drinks cabinet.</p><p>"Yes, please." Alfred noticed he did not address him formally. "Really Alfred, ever the courtier, still dressed in your best?"</p><p>"Everything I own is my best. And if you'll remember, I serve at the pleasure of Her Majesty, the Queen, divinely appointed by the Grace of God. I must always look my best." His tone was colder than he'd intended it, but he left the unspoken insult, that Drummond was appointed by the Prime Minister, elected from the masses.</p><p>"I suppose that's the end of the pleasantries then?"</p><p>Alfred handed the drink to Edward. "To what then, Mr. Drummond, am I to own the pleasure of your company?"</p><p>Edward sighed. "I... Have you heard what's happening in Ireland?" Drummond looked like his soul was crushed.</p><p>"I've heard about Doctor Traill if that's what you mean."</p><p>Drummond's brow furrowed. "No, I was talking about numbers, man! And what about the good doctor?"</p><p>"Typhoid." Alfred said simply.</p><p>"Good God. Yet another to the nine hundred thousand we've heard of today." He wiped at his eyes, possibly batting away an errant tear.</p><p>"That's horrendous," Alfred said, trying - and failing - to sound cold. "That still leaves the question of why you've come to see me, Drummond."</p><p>Edward looked at him, surprise briefly visible on his handsome features. "I... Alfred... I don't, I can't. I don't know what to do with all... this," he gestured widely. "It's tearing me up. Each day, Sir Robert tells me of the reports he gets from Ireland. I cannot bear it alone."</p><p>Alfred was moved. Edward was such a sensitive man. His heart bled for the least of all, and Alfred supposed it was a great factor in why he fell in love with him. But that did not change that Edward had given Alfred his goodbyes. "Why are you here, Drummond; instead of with your fiance?"</p><p>"Because, I want to be with someone I care about."</p><p>It was a shocking admission, for both of them. But Alfred couldn't deny that he reveled in it, and he moved to sit next to Drummond on the small sofa. He laid back and tossed his legs up onto Drummond's lap. "I care for you too, Edward."</p><p>Neither said another word for a long time. They simply sat there in each other's company, Edward's eyes mesmerized by the dancing flames in the fireplace. It didn't take long for his head to lull to the side and fall asleep. Alfred looked at the man he loved, sleeping on his sofa and felt an incredible warmth within him. He smiled and let himself fall asleep also.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The King Over the Water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Following another attempt on her life, Victoria and Albert travel incognito to the Scottish highlands. And while the staff get the opportunity to enjoy what Scotland has to offer, the trip does not turn out to be the romantic escape that Victoria and Albert had expected.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alfred was riding parade behind the carriage. He always enjoyed being on duty when the Prince and Queen went for a ride through Hyde Park, especially when it clearly made the Queen happy. There were many onlookers, those walking themselves who had moved to the side to let the royal carriage through, waving to the Sovereign and the Prince.</p><p>From his position, just behind the carriage, he could hear the conversation in it.</p><p>"How lovely it is to be out. Just us," the Queen said, turning to her husband. Albert didn't respond, instead he kept looking around. Victoria waved to the people as the carriage passed, Albert scowling.</p><p>Something had caught Albert's eye because an instant later he pushed Victoria down, hiding her. Alfred rode up along side the carriage. Albert looked up at Alfred, in his parade red coat and tall black hat with a feather atop. "There was a man - a boy perhaps. He was pointing a gun!"</p><p>"Ride on!" Alfred called and the carriage drivers sped up as he started scanning the crowd for the man Albert had seen. "Scour the grounds," he ordered. "Move! Move!"</p><p>***</p><p>He was standing still in his parade coat when Sir Robert was talking with Prince Albert and the Queen. Drummond stood quietly in the corner and Albert couldn't help but to feel Edward's eyes on him as he listened.</p><p>"My policemen have searched the area, sir, but there's no sign of any man matching the description you gave," the Prime Minister reported.</p><p>"I think we should go out again, at once." Victoria's bold statement caused a gasp. If he is still out there, he WILL try again and this time he can be caught."</p><p>Albert looked at his wife in disbelief.</p><p>Peel didn't seem entirely opposed to the idea. "I hope you understand that this is not without its risks, Ma'am, but I will place a man at every step of the route."</p><p>Albert was aghast at the Prime Minister. "Surely you are not in agreement. This is madness!"</p><p>Peel looked at Prince Albert. "I think the Queen is right, sir. We should flush the creature out."</p><p>Alfred and Edward made eye contact and Alfred lifted his eyebrow, almost saying 'she will win.' The Queen briefly widened her eyes in satisfaction before standing and walking away.</p><p>"Victoria!" Albert called out to her before running off for just a second. He came back with a parasol, though it rattled unlike any parasol that Alfred had ever seen. "I want you to take this," the Prince said, opening it with a metallic rattle.</p><p>"Never inside, sir," Lehzen implored.</p><p>"Please Baroness, that is a foolish superstition." He turned back to Victoria with his parasol which had some strange fringe dangling from it. Lehzen knocked on the walnut table. "This on the other hand is an armored parasol," he said spinning it. "I have designed it myself."</p><p>The Queen looked at it skeptically. "An armored parasol?"</p><p>"The chainmail, it runs all the way along the lining which means if you are fired at, you are protected."</p><p>Alfred swallowed a snigger as he placed his hat back on his head.</p><p>"I also had it designed in your favorite color - purple." He offered the parasol to the Queen, bowing his head, a proud smirk on his face.</p><p>Lehzen looked at it, without masking her true thoughts. "Of course, Your Royal Highness, the Queen will be surrounded by the household cavalry."</p><p>Albert turned his attention to the Baroness. "Thank you, Lehzen." He was clearly irritated with her, and while Alfred did find the parasol a bit ridiculous, he could still agree that the Baroness was a lot to deal with. He glanced at Edward still standing in the corner watching, who was glancing back and forth between Alfred and Peel. Neither men spoke.</p><p>***</p><p>Peel and Drummond had left just as the Queen and the Prince got back into the carriage for the park. Victoria had the 'armored parasol' open above her and Albert looked smug as he sat beside his wife.</p><p>Alfred rode behind in his normal position, keeping a watchful eye on the crowd. Police lined the pathway and onlookers and well wishers had gathered to wave and offer the prayer and anthem 'God save the Queen.'</p><p>Albert missed the man, even though he'd seen him earlier. And when the gunshot rang out, Alfred rode ahead to give chase. The constable had managed to grab the gunman's hand directing it into the air before the trigger was pulled.</p><p>"Arrest that man," Alfred cried out. The police dragged him backwards.</p><p>"I WILL HAVE MY DAY IN COURT!"</p><p>The police had the gunman on the ground and when he looked up, he found himself being towered over by Alfred on his horse.</p><p>***</p><p>The tables set up for luncheon in the throne room always made Alfred feel like lunch was more special than normal, even though he often spent great swaths of time in the room.</p><p>The Queen entered, proudly walking in with Prince Albert at her side. Alfred and all the others in attendance rose at the approach of the Queen.</p><p>"Sir Robert," she began with a smile.</p><p>"Ma'am."</p><p>She approached the Prime Minister. "Since I cannot bear to live in a military garrison here in London, I have decided to go somewhere else."</p><p>Alfred glanced over at Edward, who, like the Prime Minister looked just as perplexed.</p><p>The Duchess cleared the confusion. "Are we traveling to the Continent, Ma'am?"</p><p>Victoria's girlish smile was infectious. "No."</p><p>"Not... Ireland?"</p><p>"No, Duchess. We are going somewhere even you might approve of."</p><p>Alfred and the Queen's eyes met and he couldn't help but reflect her smile.</p><p>"Scotland."</p><p>Sir Robert stepped forward and Alfred could see how Edward's eyes were on his mentor, the briefest furrow of anxiety on his brow.</p><p>"You will return in time to open Parliament, ma'am?"</p><p>The Queen leveled her gaze at the PM. "I'm well aware of my duties, Prime Minister."</p><p>A flurry of excitement moved around the room but when Alfred and Edward made eye contact, Alfred could see disappointment in the other's eyes.</p><p>The Prime Minister was still anxious about the whole trip and he turned to his Private Secretary. "You're going with her," he mouthed.</p><p>Alfred felt a warmth grow in him as he watched the grin spread across Edward's face as he glanced back at Alfred and he realized that Drummond's disappointment have been about Alfred leaving him in London. Paget felt even warmer then, seeing how Edward felt.</p><p>"Maybe meet up with that fiance of yours," Peel continued. "Get to know her. Her family's from Scotland."</p><p>The enthusiasm that seemed blossom on Drummond's face crushed Alfred back down, squashing the warmth he'd felt just moments before.</p><p>***</p><p>Edward sat comfortably in the carriage as the caravan made its way north next to Prince Ernest and across from Alfred. Rather, it would have been comfortable if Alfred hadn't been so cold to him from the instant they departed Buckingham Palace. Alfred was always so congenial, that was both a large part of his job, keeping things pleasant for the Queen's court, and also a big part of what drew Edward to Alfred. But now, as they rode for the Highlands, Alfred had said barely five words, enraptured with the scenery unfolding through the window.</p><p>The duchess's niece, Wilhemina Coke spoke, breaking the quiet. "I must congratulate you on your engagement, Mr. Drummond." Edward looked to Alfred, watching for any reaction. Wilhemina continued. "Florence and I are old friends. She's such a lovely girl and so accomplished."</p><p>Edward could see the scowl forming on Alfred's face as swallowed hard. He turned his attention briefly back to Miss Coke. "She has many virtues," he said simply, trying to allow the topic to wither.</p><p>His attempts died on the vine when Prince Ernest added himself to the conversation. "My felicitations. I hope she is as pretty as she is talented."</p><p>Unknown to Edward, Alfred's blue eyes were watching him closely.</p><p>"I believe she is considered quite... personable."</p><p>He missed the sarcastic smirk on Alfred's lips that disappeared quickly. All Edward saw was what felt like a cold stare coming from the man that he'd now been forced to admit he was in love with. When their eyes met, Alfred lifted an eyebrow almost in judgement, before he flipped open a well worn copy of the <em>Illiad</em> that he'd had between himself and Miss Coke.</p><p>"Oh, you English. I think if you were to see Cleopatra bathing is asses' milk, you would blush and say 'Oh, I believe she is considered quite personable,'" he said with a mock English accent.</p><p>Edward and Wilhemina could not stifle a small laugh and when he looked back at Alfred, he saw the blond looking at him over the top of the book. Drummond's smile faltered and he felt a cloud come over him as Alfred's eyes sank back to his book.</p><p>As they pulled up to the manor house, Edward could hear bagpipes. "Scotland," he said under his breath. Alfred glanced up at him, his face blank, and closed the book.</p><p>Stepping out of the carriage, the entourage was greeted by the lord of the manor's private guard. He greeted the Queen and Prince and started explaining the weekend to them already.</p><p>They made their way through the close hallways of the house, until they were in what was clearly meant as a ballroom. As Victoria and Albert entered, bagpipes started again and a procession formed. It was all rather ridiculous, the Royal Court processing like it were marching into the Abbey.</p><p>They all took places at seats around the room, Edward could still feel the chill from Alfred.</p><p>Duke Atholl address the Queen. "And now ma'am, I have a special treat in store as part of our midsummer celebrations. The renowned physician poet, William Beattie has agreed to give us a rendition of his epic <em>The Heliotrope, a Paean to Health.</em>"</p><p>Edward couldn't see the Queen's face but from her posture, she seemed a bit confused.</p><p>The poet came in and bowed low. "Your Majesty."</p><p>Victoria sat down, leading the rest of the court to do the same. Just a little behind Edward sat Alfred. How Drummond wished he could be sitting next to him, though he suspected Alfred would not agree at that point.</p><p>"What is life? Life a flower..." The poet began. It took no time for everyone to realize just how incredibly boring this was to be. From the corner of his eye, Edward could see the Queen and Prince glancing at each other, small smirks on their faces.</p><p>After what must have been an hour, Edward, starting to nod off, he heard a rustle from behind him. He turned to see as Prince Ernest rose and excused himself without a word. For the first time in his life, he was jealous of Ernest.</p><p>Beattie was becoming worked up by his own epic. "Dark signs in sea and ocean announce impending dangers to our crew."</p><p>A small giggle sounded behind Edward and he turned to see Alfred fighting his grin. He cleared his throat and returned his expression to a neutral gaze, having been caught. He made eye contact with Edward and they both smirked at each other. For a moment, Drummond felt warmth.</p><p>Edward scanned the room quickly, seeing the Queen seeming to be nodding off, though trying not to be obvious, and the Duchess had her chin on her cane, not hiding that she was falling asleep.</p><p>The poet paused and Prince Albert took advantage of the moment. He started applauding cutting Beattie off before he could continue. The rest of the group began applauding also, just to keep it from pick back up. Edward sat up straight before he could be seen slouching.</p><p>"Thank you, Mister Beattie, that was most... enlightening," Prince Albert declared, a blatant lie to the whole court.</p><p>The Queen exited quickly with Albert by her side, Alfred quickly followed and Edward followed Alfred. Once in the corridor, he could hear the Queen remarking to Albert. "I think I'd rather be hung, drawn, and quartered than listen to another minute of that."</p><p>The Royal couple continued on to their quarters, suddenly flanked by the Duke's private army on either side, escorting them. Edward caught Alfred's quick glance. "Well I'm off to bed," he told Edward as he pealed off, himself, leaving Edward alone in the dark manor corridor. He decided that, without duties, or apparently friends, he would turn in himself.</p><p>***</p><p>Rumor quickly found its way through the court of fresh tortures the Duke had planned for the new day. But mercifully the Queen had requested a change, to see the country side. The Duke mobilized his battalion and led the monarch and court into the highlands.</p><p>"The River Garry," he said when they arrived. "The best fly fishing in the country."</p><p>It was a singularly new experience for Alfred as he roamed the riverside, watching the different members of the court try their hand. Miss Coke hadn't left his side and he was starting to worry that she might be developing feelings for him. Just a little upstream, he could see Edward, probably distanced from the rest of the court so he didn't embarrass himself.</p><p>"Oh Lord Alfred," Wilhemina spoke. "Isn't this scenery sublime."</p><p>He hadn't really been paying much attention to the landscape but he answered honestly as he watched Drummond try to fish. "Heavenly."</p><p>Edward suddenly dropped into the water, something having startled him. Downstream he could hear the Sovereign laughing as she and Prince Albert held onto the same pole. "I think we nearly caught Drummond."</p><p>As the group started to pack up, Alfred could see the Queen and her husband whispering conspiratorially. He watched as they approached Atholl. "Duke? The Prince and I would like to ride back."</p><p>The Duke was taken aback. "Are you sure ma'am? It's not a side saddle."</p><p>His protestations were too late and Prince Albert had already helped lift the Queen onto the horse.</p><p>The court loaded into the carriages and all departed, the Queen and Prince bringing up the rear on horse back.</p><p>The convoy started across a bridge when suddenly Atholl shouted for the carriage to be stopped. It was barely to a stop before the Duke was out and calling "Where's Her Majesty?"</p><p>Alfred climbed out from the same carriage as the Duke became flustered. The commotion did not stop at the lead carriage. From the back, Alfred could see Edward climbing out to see what the bother was.</p><p>Alfred approached the Duke, his duties as Equerry becoming clear.</p><p>"The Queen and Prince have gone astray," the Duke said to Alfred, recognizing his concern.</p><p>Alfred kept a calm demeanor, regardless of what was happening inside of him. "They can't be that far behind, surely."</p><p>The Duke blustered for a moment before finishing. "I should have never let the Queen out of my sight."</p><p>Edward stepped up and spoke to the Duke. "I think, Duke, we should waste no time in looking for them."</p><p>The Duke agreed.</p><p>"Lord Alfred," Edward said, asking Paget to search with him.</p><p>The pair walked on in the woods for quite a while, and Alfred couldn't help notice the general melancholy that had descended on Edward. Drummond approached a drop off, standing much closer to the edge than made Alfred comfortable. Staring down he spoke. "If we fell, it could be months till we were found."</p><p>Alfred looked at Drummond, a chill going up his spine. "You seem very calm at the prospect."</p><p>Edward looked up, and gazed thoughtfully out over the valley. "I'm more afraid of going back to London."</p><p>Alfred's eyes never left Edward. "Really?"</p><p>Edward blinked a few times, Alfred thought he could be blinking away tears, and stepped back from the edge. "I noticed you were reading the <em>Illiad</em> on the way up."</p><p>Alfred didn't miss how Edward had changed the subjects but he let it go. "Not in the original, I'm afraid." He smiled lightly before continuing. "I find the death of Patroclus... most affecting."</p><p>"Yes, the lengths Achilles went to to honor his friend."</p><p>Alfred smiled before looking at Edward. "You believe they were friends?"</p><p>Edward's eyes searched Alfred's for a moment. He could not find a word for how else to describe them, maybe it didn't exist yet. Maybe the same word was still waiting to be created for he and Alfred. "I wouldn't now what else to call them."</p><p>Alfred patted Edward on the chest as he turned and walked away. Edward turned, with the smallest of a smile, maybe understanding what Alfred was getting at, before he followed.</p><p>They continued down the hill. "Even if I disliked Florence, my family wouldn't consider that an obstacle."</p><p>"And do you," Alfred asked. "Dislike her."</p><p>Edward knew what Alfred wanted to hear, but he wouldn't lie about it. "No. No in fact I care for her deeply," that part might have been an expansion of the truth, "but... I don't think I'll ever uh..."</p><p>"Love her," Alfred finished, asking.</p><p>Edward stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at Alfred. "Hm," he nodded ever so slightly in agreement.</p><p>Alfred smiled lightly at the taller man, who's chocolate eyes he'd suddenly found himself drowning in. "We should be ugh... heading back." He pulled himself free of Edward's eyes and started again, Edward following.</p><p>***</p><p>The crackling fire did little to calm Alfred's nerves, between his own problems with Drummond and the Queen suddenly missing, he felt like he was barely held together, and Edward looked even worse as he gazed into the fireplace with what Alfred had noticed was not his first whisky in hand. Naturally, there was not help to come from the Duchess.</p><p>"Such incompetence. How can anyone lose a queen? It would never have happened if I'd been there."</p><p>When Drummond spoke, Alfred finally saw the young man with a guilt complex that Edward truly was. "I should have stopped the Queen and the Prince from going off on their own."</p><p>"Indeed you should!"</p><p>Alfred quickly moved to defend, perhaps too quickly. "You're not to blame Drummond. No body, not even you, Duchess, can stop the Queen when she puts her mind to something."</p><p>"I would have told her to be sensible."</p><p>Alfred made a face at the old woman, trying to silently tell her to stop.</p><p>"God knows where they are now, probably at the bottom of Glen something or other with their necks broken."</p><p>Drummond turned toward the fire, clearly haunted by the image the Duchess had painted.</p><p>***</p><p>The sun had set and it had become incredibly dark, the only light in the manor came from the fire places and hundreds of candles. The Duke was pacing as Edward came around the corner, a moment later Alfred appeared too.</p><p>"No sign of them anywhere," Atholl admitted.</p><p>Drummond paused a moment and glanced from Alfred to the Duke. "Duke." He breathed deeply. "I feel it is my duty to inform the Prime Minister." The look on Drummond's face was soul crushing, at least for Alfred. He could see how much Edward dreaded telling his mentor that 'he'd lost the Sovereign,' and the Duke didn't look to thrilled at the prospect either.</p><p>Alfred offered an alternative, though not for Atholl's sake. "Perhaps we should wait till daybreak."They</p><p>The morning broke and Alfred remained in the chair by the fire, next to the Duke. He'd gotten no sleep and when Edward came into the room, his heart sank for the man. Edward's eyes met Alfred's the blond nodded ever so slightly.</p><p>Edward approached the Duke who had fallen asleep, and gently touched his shoulder.</p><p>"What? Hm?" He sat up looking at Drummond. "Are they?..."</p><p>Edward shook his head once and the Duke's face mirrored what they all felt. No one could imagine away from the Queen and Prince to make it back now, especially after the storm that popped up in the night.</p><p>Edward turned on his heels, ready to go write to the Prime Minister.</p><p>"Drummond. Wait," Alfred called after him.</p><p>"I have no choice, Alf... Lord Alfred," and he retreated to his room.</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred paced the hallway, time lost as he worried for Her Majesty and worried for the man he loved - the man who suddenly felt that he was responsible for the missing monarch. He didn't know how much time he wasted pacing the dim corridor, it could have been moments or hours. Finally, he ran a hand through his blond locks and moved toward a window, looking out over the rolling hills of Scotland. He worried at his lip, imaging the Queen and Prince lost out there among the rivers, forests, and hills.</p><p>He blinked slowly, allowing his eyes to linger closed for a little while. When he opened his eyes, he could see a single horseman riding back toward the estate. He would be bringing news of the search, be it good or bad.</p><p>Alfred pulled himself from the window and descended the stairway, passing the Duke in the hall.</p><p>"A rider, your Grace," he said, not stopping for the Atholl's reply as he made his way for the main entry.</p><p>Moving to stand out on the stone steps Alfred could see the rider waving his hands wildly and shouting. Alfred dared to hope that the rider brought good news.</p><p>Finally, as he drew nearer, Alfred could hear the rider's voice. "We have them! We found them, your Grace!"</p><p>Edward could feel himself relax, his shoulders drop as the tension released. "Edward," he said allowed without realizing it.</p><p>"What's that, Lord Alfred?" the Duke asked, hopefully not completely hearing what the blond had said.</p><p>"Nothing, Duke," Alfred replied, turning and entering the house.</p><p>Once he was clear of being seen, he started running, taking the stairs two at a time until he was on the third floor. He burst into Drummond's room, not bothering to announce himself. Drummond was pacing the floor obviously still trying to puzzle out how to word his letter to the Prime Minister.</p><p>"They're safe," Alfred said as Edward turned, shocked at someone bursting in.</p><p>Edward's eyes asked the question. Alfred nodded, his wordless confirmation that it was true. He approached Drummond and clasped his shoulders. The two men stared into each other's eyes, close enough to feel the other man's breath. Edward lurched forward as Alfred simultaneously wrapped his arms around the taller man. The two embraced in a loving hug, forgetting themselves for just a moment as the stress of the last few hours seemed to melt away.</p><p>Alfred could have stood there in Edward's arms for hours, but the thunder of hooves in the distance pulled him back to his responsibilities. "We should... be down there... to um... receive the Queen," he said, pulling away from the taller man.</p><p>Edward nodded once as he backed away, realizing the door was still open and anyone could have seen them. "Yes, right."</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred stood at the top of the stairs, Edward just before him. He could feel the taller man's body heat from the closeness and he was filled with the warmth of it, but also desire. He quashed it down. There was too much him to be focused on right now and not enough clarity between he and Edward.</p><p>The group started clapping as the Queen dismounted from her horse, smiling and looking rather relaxed. "The Prince and I, we um... We had a most entertaining evening."</p><p>Alfred could hear Prince Ernest say something to his brother.</p><p>His Royal Highness replied in german.</p><p>"Only to me," Ernest replied.</p><p>Alfred smiled widely as the Queen, and soon after, Prince Albert, climbed the stairs and went into the manor.</p><p>Alfred maintained his smile as he looked up at Edward. Drummond's bashful but mischievous smile spread in reply. "I suppose we should prepare for tonight's activities," Edward said, already dreading a repeat of their first night there.</p><p>"Indeed," Edward replied, still looking at Alfred.</p><p>Lady Sutherland bumped Alfred as she walked past and she cleared her throat loudly. Alfred blinked a few times, the spell of Edward's eyes broken. "Right, I'll dress for the evening."</p><p>He took to the staircase, climbing all the way to the third floor toward his room and pondered over whether he should wear his red coat or a black, jacket that was not a uniform. His mind never even thought of what Her Majesty would rather him in, but instead he was focused on what he wanted Edward to see, what he thought Edward would enjoy, and he settled on the black.</p><p>***</p><p>Like the first night, the court processed slowly into the Hall of the estate, Alfred bringing up the rear, just behind Edward. He was in a very similar, black tailcoat as he followed Miss Coke. Alfred had to admit that he wasn't all together opposed to following Drummond, even as her bolstered himself against another evening of Beattie's wretched poetry. He was resigning himself to it when a though popped into his head.</p><p>He clapped his hand on Edward's shoulder, "You know, Drummond, I believe we have more fun if we join the servants."</p><p>Edward turned, an impish grin on his face as he returned Alfred's smile. Drummond turned away from the procession.</p><p>"After you," Albert said, sweeping his arm back the way they'd just come from. As they started walking faster, nearly a run, Alfred threw his arm over Edward's shoulder, a touch, a connection, a show of affection - people around be damned.</p><p>It was not a long walk into the small wooded area next to the manor where the Duke's staff had set up a dance floor. It seemed to be a permanent installation and well worn, as though it were used each night. Members of Atholl's house staff as well as his personal army were all enjoying the music being played by a few footmen. The ale was flowing freely and the whole group was dancing. Edward and Alfred grabbed a tankard each and filled them with ale. Clashing the mugs together, they smiled at each other before taking a long drink. Alfred turned and placed his drink on a nearby table before gesturing to Drummond. "Come on, join me."</p><p>They clasped hands and joined the circle as they danced around to the lively, Scottish music, dancing to the left before changing to the right when the music changed key. A moment later the circle broke into pairs. Edward looped his arm through Alfred's as the started dancing spinning around before changing direction and arm. The music carried them away and for a time they felt as though they were just Edward and Alfred, as it was meant to be. Nowhere and nothing else mattered by the two men as they danced, clasping hands and spinning around their shared center, laughing as they went. It didn't matter that they were surrounded by others, everyone seemed to be lost in their own fun, enjoying the summer evening and music.</p><p>After a while of dancing, Alfred stopped to catch his breath, Edward followed him from the dance floor and they moved in unison as they allowed their feet direct them on their own. They stepped out of the wooded area, the lake behind the house opened before them, the setting sun shimmering on the calm surface of the lake.</p><p>They passed through a wrought iron gate, into the beautifully kept garden. Edward took both men's coats and hung them in the arms of a statue looking over the garden as the walked right up to the water's edge. Alfred's waistcoat, with its gold embroidery highlighted the blue of his eyes, a stark contrast to Edward's dark brown eyes and silver waistcoat.</p><p>Instinctually, the each turned in to face each other.</p><p>"These midsummer evenings are so enchanting; don't you think?" Alfred said, looking up into Edward's eyes. God he could drown in those eyes.</p><p>Edward didn't speak, his mouth opened ever so slightly, as his eyes moved over Alfred's face. Finally, after what could have been an eternity, Edward moved forward, pressing his lips to Alfred's, surprising Alfred, as well as himself. When he pulled back, Alfred's blue eyes were shimmering like beacons in a storm. So many emotions played out on Lord Paget's face - hope, shock, heat, and love, most of all love. Edward looked at the smaller man for just a second more before plunging ahead again and taking Alfred's lips below his own. He pulled back, but Alfred tugged him in again, this time deepening the kiss.</p><p>When they broke apart, both men let a small chuckle, grinning wide. Edward leaned his head down and their foreheads came together, a point of contact letting their love flow through, feeling the warmth from the other. Alfred pulled lightly on the back of Edward's neck and their noses caressed. Another laugh and open smile followed as their noses continued to brush.</p><p>They stood there where the lake met the land in each other's arms as the sky changed from gold, to orange, to indigo. Alfred leaned forward again, bringing their lips together once more before finally speaking. "We should get inside, be there for dinner."</p><p>Edward tugged them back together for one more kiss. Both oblivious to the world around them.</p><p>***</p><p>At dinner, Miss Coke was unusually chatty with both men, though Alfred's realization that the young woman was nursing feelings for him helped him to understand. "Well Lord Alfred," she said. "One last night here in the highlands." She sounded almost flirtatious and Alfred looked to Edward briefly before he turned with a visibly forced smile.</p><p>"Indeed, Miss Coke. And then we begin our trek back to London." He glanced across the table and could see the flair of anxiety in Edward's face but with a smile from Alfred, the anxiety turned warm with a subtle grin.</p><p>The Queen was very quiet as the group ate and Alfred could only imagine how much she too was dreading the return. From her face when she'd returned, Alfred knew that her night 'lost' in the highlands had been her first true night to just be Victoria since her coronation. The monarch's blue eyes met his own and she smiled, though it did not reach her eyes.</p><p>***</p><p>Within moments of waking up, Edward had nearly worked himself into a panic. Scotland was now somehow sacred to him and the very idea of getting into the carriage and traversing south to the Capitol, toward Peel and the House, toward Florence and his impending wedding.</p><p>He had to get out of the room, so he through his favorite coat on over his clothes and made his way toward down for breakfast. He passed through the drawing room, barely noticing Prince Ernest standing at the fire, looking into it, pensive. From the other end of the room, Alfred started approaching. They shared a smile from a distance before meeting halfway down the room.</p><p>"Drummond," he said to Edward. "Back to London."</p><p>Edward nodded. "Back to London."</p><p>They stayed there, looking at each other for a moment, lost. Both seemed to miss Wilhemina's approach. "Would either of you like to learn the bagpipes with me?" She said, stepping between the two. "I want to treasure these last moments here in Scotland."</p><p>Edward looked down at the small blonde woman; it was almost as though she could read him. "So do I, Miss Coke." He glanced at Alfred who motioned with his arm.</p><p>"After you."</p><p>Edward's eyes met Alfred's again and Alfred grinned widely for the briefest of flashes, and Edward smiled coyly again and they followed Wilhemina.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Luxury of Conscience</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Albert unwittingly creates trouble for Peel as the embattled Prime Minister faces the most important battle of his political career. A tragedy forces sacrifices to be made.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we go folks. Brace yourselves.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edward sat next to Peel as Parliament waited. His mind was still in Scotland, while his heart resided in Buckingham Palace.</p>
<p>A trumpet fanfare sounded and in unison, the entirety of the House rose to its feet. In walked a young woman who Drummond had been with through out the preceding weekend, though as she took the podium at the front of the room, she seemed almost unrecognizable. She entered, robed in the vestments of the Sovereign, the blue sash across her body and the crown atop her head.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred was moving through the palace, joy rooted deeply in his heart and a smile on his face. He was humming the tune from the night he and Edward had danced in Scotland. As he moved through the grand foyer his eyes came to rest on the blue over coat of a man he'd seen many times stalking the palace, though it had been a few years.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty," he said approaching the Belgian king. "I don't think the Queen was expecting you."</p>
<p>"No, Lord Alfred," Leopold said, his Coburg accent strong. "I did not want to impose on her with preparations."</p>
<p>"No," Alfred's reply sounded as skeptical as he felt. "Shall I announce you?"</p>
<p>Leopold shook his head. "No, no, Lord Alfred. I am here simply as a member of the family. No need to make such this a state affair," the king replied, though Alfred was well aware of how much Leopold loved being the center of attention. In fact, Alfred wondered how a man who was so frequently out of his country could rule over anything. Though, his was not to reason why.</p>
<p>"Well, Her Majesty is in her sitting room with the Prince and Their Royal Highnesses the Princess Victoria and Prince Bertie." He bowed his head and continued on his way as Leopold left the foyer.</p>
<p>He was barely down the hall when his name reached his ear, Lady Harriet Sutherland calling after him. "Alfred, walk with me."</p>
<p>He watched her out of the corner of her eye as they moved through the palace and into the gardens; the summer sun beams warming their skin.</p>
<p>"You are about to have a real problem on your hands, Alfred," she said quietly.</p>
<p>He looked to her, shaking his head, not understanding what she meant.</p>
<p>"You're being too obvious." Her voice was hushed though urgent. "You know Brodie saw Drummond leaving the palace in the small hours a few days before we left for Scotland? And I know it isn't the only time." </p>
<p>Alfred felt his heart sink. "He didn't see him coming from my chambers, did he?"</p>
<p>"No," Harriet said. "He was in the foyer, Miss Coke overheard Brodie saying that he thinks Drummond visiting you is a cover for sleeping with one of Her Majesty's ladies. This is dangerous ground you two are treading, Alfred."</p>
<p>"Hmm."</p>
<p>She stopped walking, turning on him. "That's all you've to say for yourself? 'Hmm?' Alfred, you know I hold you most dear, but you cannot risk being found out. Or Edward, both of your lives could be at stake, and if Brodie's rumor gets out, that's the end of Drummond's political career."</p>
<p>Alfred looked at his friend, his eyes full of worry. "I could ruin him," he said, the magnitude sinking in. "His entire life would be over because of me."</p>
<p>"Just remember, Alfred - Lord Alfred," she accentuated the 'lord,' "discretion is the mark of a gentleman."</p>
<p>"Right you are, Harriet. I'll have a word with him tonight. We are to meet for supper at Ciro's."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The Cabinet meeting was more tense than any Edward could remember over his time as Peel's secretary. Sir Robert had placed the question of the Corn Laws before his party for discussion.</p>
<p>"What you are suggesting, Prime Minister," Stanley, a loud voice of the Tory party said, "would be the death of British agriculture."</p>
<p>Peel had his response ready. "There are more people living in our towns now, than in the countryside, Stanley. Free trade is the only way to make food affordable to everyone." Stanley blustered and shook his head but the Prime Minister persisted. "We have a responsibility to those less fortunate that ourselves."</p>
<p>"I take care of my people Prime Minister," Stanley interrupted, insulted at the insinuation that he was neglectful.</p>
<p>"No doubt. But I'm talking about those members of the labouring class not lucky enough to work for you."</p>
<p>Stanley's scowl deepened. "I won't do it. I gave my word as a gentleman to uphold the Corn Laws, and I am not in the habit of breaking my word." He rose and excused himself from the Cabinet chambers. Following Stanley's lead, four other's got up and made their exit. Peel lowered his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p>"Duke," the PM asked, looking up.</p>
<p>Wellington hadn't looked away from Peel once and now he spoke with the authority of experience. "Twenty years ago, when I became Prime Minister, I thought I could never support Catholic emancipation. But when I took office, I realized that a leader must put the good of his country before his own inclinations - or even the will of his party. You have my support, Prime Minister."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The Queen was flustered. As was starting to become commonplace, she and Prince Albert had been arguing, and as had become common, it was about the Baroness. Albert was tired of her 'old world' style of raising his children and what he felt was error and neglect, and as Alfred had heard more than once, the Prince had tired of Victoria always defending her governess. And now Princess Victoria was ill, Albert blamed the Baroness for taking the young princess for a walk through the park when she was already feeling ill. He was convinced that the exposure would only make the child worse.</p>
<p>Alfred had enough on his mind, with what Harriet had warned him without dealing with the family dramatics of the Crown.</p>
<p>It was clear to Alfred that he had to protect Edward, and the only way he could be sure of that would be to end whatever it was that was between them. If Alfred wasn't there to get Drummond caught, then Edward and his career would be safe.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>With the Duke of Wellington's blessing, Peel pushed forward and Edward was proud to sit on the bench next to his mentor as he made the argument for the poorest of England.</p>
<p>"It is time for this House to decide the fate of England," the Prime Minister opened his arm. "Will we advance into the future? Or recede into the past?" From the corner of his eye, Drummond could see the opposition brewing within his own party. "Is this a country that can only flourish in the sickly atmosphere of prohibition and tariffs?" Grumbles went around both sides of the Chamber. "Let trade be free between nations."</p>
<p>There seemed little opposition from the Whigs but several of those on the back benches of the Torys started rebelling against their own Prime Minister.</p>
<p>"Choose the future," Peel shouted. "Not the past!" He finished and sat on the bench next to Edward. Drummond tapped Sir Robert's shoulder in congratulation.</p>
<p>A member of his own party, Bentinck, rose to disagree and the Speaker announced him. "The Honorable Member for Lincoln."</p>
<p>Bentinck spoke loudly. "Mister Speaker!" He shouted. "Is the Tory Party really going to stand by while our Prime Minister renders us dependent of foreigners for food, because he has listened to the clamber of the mob." The mutters increased as Bentinck continued. "I call upon all like-minded Tories to join me in resisting with every parliamentary means this heinous betrayal of every virtue that our great party stands for!"</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred watched across the space uncomfortably as Peel and Her Majesty discussed the goings on in the House. Drummond stood in the corner of the room, giving Alfred the smile that seemed to be reserved just for him. God, his heart broke at what he knew he was going to have to do later that night. He was miserable and barely heard the Prime Minister and Queen as they spoke.</p>
<p>"The opposition to repeal is all from my own party." He sounded defeated as he spoke.</p>
<p>"You're the only man who can pass this bill, Sir Robert," the Queen said honestly.</p>
<p>"You may be right, ma'am, but even if I am successful, it will be the end of my career. They will never forgive me."</p>
<p>A haughty laugh came from the Queen's lips. "Don't say that, your country needs you. And so do I. Not to mention Albert will be-"</p>
<p>Alfred's eyes widened at the appearance of the Prince.</p>
<p>"Albert will be what?" His Royal Highness asked.</p>
<p>Victoria rounded the desk toward her husband. "Astonished," she lied, "if the repeal bill did not pass."</p>
<p>Albert nodded. "Oh, of course it will pass."</p>
<p>Peel nodded but no happiness appeared on his face. "I hope you are right, sir."</p>
<p>"Do you know what I think, Sir Robert," Albert began, "Five years from now when the new parliament building is completed, I believe you will be the Prime Minister that opens it."</p>
<p>Peel and Victoria shared anxious glances at each other but neither spoke.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He's spent the afternoon after the meeting getting ready for dinner with Edward and now, as the hour of their reservation drew near, he walked down the hall. As Alfred made his way, the sitting profile of Miss Coke caught his eye. She was reading.</p>
<p>"Is that the Bible, Miss Coke? On a Wednesday?"</p>
<p>Wilhemina laughed at Paget's joke before she replied. "I was just reading about David and Johnathan."</p>
<p>Alfred bristled uncomfortably. "Hm."</p>
<p>Miss Coke continued. "When Johnathan dies, David says he loves him, with a love surpassing women."</p>
<p>Alfred nodded uncomfortably. He felt sure she was trying to tell him she knew. Dear God, it was all going to come apart around him, whatever doubts he had about what he had to do at dinner were dispelled in that moment.</p>
<p>"I never knew that the Bible could be so... tender." Her eyes raked over him in a knowing way. "You look smart. Are you going out for dinner?"</p>
<p>Alfred steeled himself to answer. "Yes. I am."</p>
<p>"I hope you enjoy yourself."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Miss Coke." He started again, moving perhaps a little too quickly to be polite but he had to get away before she could make any additional comment about his evening, or the Bible.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He sat there at Ciro's, his favorite restaurant, his heart pounding in his throat, already breaking into thousands of shards, and Edward hadn't even gotten there yet. He was lost in his melancholia when Edward's hand came to rest on his shoulder.</p>
<p>"My apologies," he said, coming around the table to sit opposite Alfred. "The Corn Law debate will go on for days."</p>
<p>Alfred could not bring his gaze to rest on Edward, instead he ran his finger along the rim of his glass and felt the petals of the flowers on the table.</p>
<p>Edward continued. "The sleeping beauties on our back benches have woken up, and they aren't happy."</p>
<p>Alfred fiddled with his napkin. "I know. My father and his friends think that repeal will be the end of civilization as we know it."</p>
<p>"With respect," Edward replied, "the days when men like your father will rule this country are coming to an end."</p>
<p>"Well." Alfred tried to make a joke of it, despite his breaking heart. "Poor Papa."</p>
<p>Edward chuckled at Alfred's joke and God wasn't that like pouring salt into the wound. He'd never hear that laugh again... He couldn't go through with it.</p>
<p>"Let's not talk about politics," Edward said pleasantly.</p>
<p>"No," Alfred agreed and turned to the waiter. "Oysters and champaign," he ordered. What was he doing? This would only endanger Edward more. He had to end it, even if it killed him.</p>
<p>"There's something I must tell you." There was a boldness in Edward's voice, a joyous resolve. Alfred had to stop him before he was in too deep.</p>
<p>"You've set a date, haven't you?" He couldn't look at him, suddenly the pattern of the table cloth had become incredibly complex and utterly fascinating. "For your wedding?"</p>
<p>Edward opened his mouth and waited a moment before speaking. "I've decided to break of the engagement."</p>
<p>Even as Alfred's heart swelled with joy at the sacrifice Edward was willing to make, he was resolved to protect the man he loved, even if it hurt him. "Why? She seems like a perfectly admirable wife for a man with prospects."</p>
<p>Edward's eyes were full of confusion. "I think you of all people must understand why it cannot be."</p>
<p>"Cannot be!" He dropped his head, ashamed at what he was going to say, but it had to hurt. "How dramatic you are, Drummond." He'd made a point of using Edward's last name, rather than the informality and intimacy of his first.</p>
<p>The pain was so clear in his dark eyes. "After Scotland. I feel it's only right."</p>
<p>Alfred forced himself to look Edward in the eye, just as the waiter arrived pouring the champaign. God what terrible timing. Alfred kept silent until the waiter left all the while watching tears well up in the eyes of the man who sat across from him. <em>Please understand, this is for you.</em> He could look Edward in the eye no longer and he dropped his gaze to the glass and dropped his hand, rather unceremoniously at the champaign glass's base. What on earth had he been thinking, ordering champaign. "A successful politician needs to have a wife." His eyes never came off the glass as he brought it to his mouth. As good as he knew the champaign to be, at that moment, it could only taste sour, none-the-less, he forced it down. Edward's eyes were full of pain as he looked at Alfred. There was certainly anger there but Alfred could live with the anger. It was the pain that was tearing him up. "Now you are going to be a successful politician, Drummond. I know it. You're going to make a difference in the world." At least that part he was utterly convinced of. "But you cannot throw that away for some..." the word felt like bile in his throat. It was never going to be true, but he had to make Edward believe it. He glanced up just before saying it. "indiscretion."</p>
<p>He had to look away as the tear rolled down Edward's cheek. "An indiscretion?"</p>
<p>Alfred closed his eyes. He knew how hard it had been to say, how much it was paining him to say it. He could scarcely imagine what Drummond was feeling. "I can't let you jeopardize your career."</p>
<p>His eyes were pleading. "Surely that is for me to decide."</p>
<p>Alfred had to continue. "You're not thinking clearly, Drummond."</p>
<p>Edward turned his head as the waiter approached. "Your oysters, gentlemen?"</p>
<p>He lifted his napkin and placed on the table as he spoke, his voice breaking. "I find I am not hungry," he said as he rose and walked away hurriedly, leaving Alfred alone in his own heartbreak and guilt.</p>
<p>Alfred sighed deeply, the waiter still hovering. He waved the waiter off, to return the oysters. He felt sick to his stomach, but at least he'd protected Edward, even at the cost of his own heart. And finally, he allowed a tear to slip down his own cheek.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He hadn't been able to think of much since what what supposed to be dinner with Alfred. Now as he paced his office at the House, he fought hard to put aside his feelings for the debate. He took a deep breath, willing himself not to cry again. He'd done enough crying over Lord Alfred Paget over the last day and he could not let his heartbreak stand in the way of what Sir Robert was fighting for. He took one step into the corridor before he heard his name.</p>
<p>"Mister Drummond, just the man I need. I wonder, could you direct me to the Stranger's Gallery," Prince Albert asked as he approached.</p>
<p>"You're going to listen to the debate, sir?" Drummond knew this was a bad idea.</p>
<p>"Evidently."</p>
<p>He showed the Prince the way before moving into the Chamber to join his mentor on the front bench. Sir Robert began.</p>
<p>"I ask you to remember the terrible winters earlier in this decade when there was hardship and suffering throughout the land. Are those winters effaced from your memory?" From the corner of his eye, Edward could see Bentinck glance up into the Gallery and he knew what Bentinck had seen. If his heart hadn't already sunken so low, it would have gone further. Prince Albert's presence was only going to be fodder for the opposition. Sir Richard continued, unaware of what was about to unfold. "From mine, they can never be. We must be ready for the season when famine comes again by abolishing the Corn Laws." Chatters and mumbles, mostly of agreement from <em>across</em> the chamber sounded around them. "Then at least we can be sure that when a black day comes, it will not have been aggravated by the laws of man."</p>
<p>The Prime Minister sat down and Drummond bumped him, gesturing to the Gallery, giving him what little warning he could of the broadside that he was going to receive in mere seconds. The Speaker introduced Bentinck as he rose.</p>
<p>"Mister Speaker, is the Prime Minister so frightened of the opposition within his own party, that he feels the need to summon a royal nursemaid to keep the ogres at bay?" Bentinck sat and Drummond and Peel both made eye contact with the Prince, communicating the damage his presence had done.</p>
<p>Albert backed away from the Gallery railing and retreated out of the chamber, Edward and Sir Robert exchanged looks of worry as the crowd, even those who supported repeal, laughed and jeered.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The chatter around the palace was incredible. Albert had returned from some excursion and was absolutely beside himself, what's more, Princess Victoria's fever continued to worsen, despite what Lehzen said. Alfred could feel the atmosphere become even more tense when <em>finally</em> the Queen sided with Albert to call for the doctor. Of course, by then, the Princess had fallen from a sniffle and low fever to nearly catatonic with a spiked temperature.</p>
<p>The staff in the corridor could hear the Queen and Prince screaming at each other. "Baroness Lehzen has indulged you YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!"</p>
<p>The argument continued, just moderately quieter; the Prince shouting about Lehzen encouraging the Queen's stubbornness.</p>
<p>"My stubbornness? Did you go to the House tonight, Albert, or not? After we discussed it. After I reminded you that the Crown must remain above politics." She switched back and Alfred was astonished at how loud the remained. "Baroness Lehzen was the only thing that kept me from despair when I was growing up."</p>
<p>"You exaggerate, as usual! I think she tried to come between you and your mother, and now between you and I." Alfred was astonished at the Prince's accusations, not that he was likely wrong, but it was incredible to hear him speak it. At least this was distracting him from his heartache.</p>
<p>"That is a ridiculous suggestion."</p>
<p>"No, Victoria!" the Prince returned. "It is not. Either she leaves or I do."</p>
<p>The volume dropped but Alfred could still hear the Queen. "But you are my husband."</p>
<p>"Exactly."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was late and had been a long day. Edward moved into Sir Robert's office to leave papers on his desk, without knocking, sure he was gone. The Prime Minister was bent over his desk writing.</p>
<p>"I thought you left hours ago, sir."</p>
<p>Peel sat up and crossed his arms over his chest. "Lady Peel is in the country, and I don't fancy running into Bentinck and his cronies at the Carlton. And hear them call the Prince my nursemaid." The Prime Minister looked up and Drummond kindly, "unless you wish to go and have a meal?" There may have been hope in Peel's question but Edward didn't have the heart at the time.</p>
<p>Edward placed the papers on the desk. "I'm afraid that I haven't had much appetite of late, but you will take care, won't you Sir Robert?" He was calm in his speech but he wanted to convey his concern, he just worried that his heartbreak might mask his worry. "Remember Spencer Percival."</p>
<p>Peel laughed. "No one's going to shoot me in the House of Commons, Drummond. Bentinck wants his moment of glory, not to swing from Albion's fatal tree."</p>
<p>Edward plastered another fake smile on his face - all of his smiles had been fake that day - and excused himself from Peel's office with a simple "very good."</p>
<p>With the morning came new meetings and arguments. A letter arrived and Drummond took it directly to Sir Robert.</p>
<p>"From Prince Albert, he wants to meet for a ride. C'mon, Drummond," he said hoisting himself out from behind his desk. "We're off to Hyde Park."</p>
<p>Approaching across the field, Edward could make out two riders making their way toward the Prime Minister and himself. He prayed that the Prince hadn't brought Alf... Lord Alfred, but he quickly saw his prayer had gone unanswered, and damn it he didn't look incredible in his navy blue riding coat with red collar and sleeves and polished brass buttons. Edward tried not to look at him, or at least look angry and not hurt but he knew he could not hide his feelings, least of all from Alfred. Worse still Alfred had the audacity to look hurt himself!</p>
<p>"Good Morning, Your Highness," Peel greeted.</p>
<p>Albert dispensed with the pleasantries "I hear there was no vote last night."</p>
<p>"No sir. The mood in the house after you left was... rather ugly. But I believe the division bell will ring tonight." He smiled weakly at the Prince and God didn't Edward wish he cared about any of this, instead of the gnawing pain where he heart should be. Instead, his heart still resided on the horse across a small distance, sitting next to the Prince.</p>
<p>"Lord Melbourne once told me, that the House of Commons would not take kindly to a german prince."</p>
<p>Peel laughed a little. "We members of Parliament are jealous of our independence, sir."</p>
<p>Albert nodded, though Edward could not be sure the Prince truly understood. "I apologize if I've made things more difficult for you. That was not my intention."</p>
<p>"I know, sir," the Prime Minister said with understanding.</p>
<p>Alfred brought his eyes to meet Edward's and Edward could see a deep pain there. A small part of him was glad, happy that Alfred was sharing at least some of what he did. A larger part, however, longed to dismount and take the man in his arms, tell him that it was okay, that the past was past and they'd be alright. But Alfred had made no indication that that was what he wanted and Edward fought to sit high on his horse.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Returning from his 'ride' with Prince Albert, Alfred found the mood in the palace was much like that of his own. There was fear and pain all around.</p>
<p>"Lord Alfred," Harriet said, crossing the hall to meet Alfred. "The doctor is not optimistic about the Princess." She had meant to be quieter but Albert heard her. He bolted up the stairs and Alfred and Lady Sutherland followed.</p>
<p>"Is it really that bad? The baroness was certain it was just a cold," Alfred asked.</p>
<p>"Sir James seems to think it's far worse. Possibly fatal. He says it all hinges on the next few hours."</p>
<p>They burst into the Nursery and were immediately turned away by Sir James, declaring that only the family should be present.</p>
<p>"Go about your afternoon, Lord Alfred," the Queen directed. "I won't be needing you today and I'll have you informed if Vicky changes." The Queen's voice broke all throughout her address to Alfred.</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am," he said, bowing his head as he made his way to his own quarters.</p>
<p>Once safely behind the closed door, Alfred broke. Seeing Edward had been worse that he could ever have imagined, made worse by how drawn the man looked, as though he'd been starving himself. And then he remembered:</p>
<p>
  <em>If we fell, it could be months till we were found.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You seem very calm at the prospect.</em>
</p>
<p>Good God, had Drummond actually been contemplating that as an escape from his marriage? Could he still be thinking it? What if in trying to protect Edward, he opened him to the greatest threat there could be, himself? Maybe truly protecting him was to be with him, and if that was the case, that was a solution that Alfred could happily live with. He could only hope Edward was willing to take Alfred back, and more.</p>
<p>Alfred settled in to his writing desk and started writing to Edward immediately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Drummond,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I've been thinking about our interrupted dinner, and whether it could be revived. I understand that I have no right to determine your future. But I think it would be a shame if you never tasted the oysters at Ciro's. I will be there this evening. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yours, Alfred.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pressed his seal into the wax and handed it to a footman. "This must get to Mister Drummond at the House of Commons as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward was walking toward the Chamber, ready for the final debate and vote when a page approached him from behind. "Mister Drummond," the page called. "From the palace," he said, handing Drummond the note on the fine, palace paper.</p>
<p>He slipped his finger under the seal, popping it up and unfolding the letter written in Alfred's elegant script.</p>
<p>His eyes slipped over the words and his heart swelled with hope. He wasn't sure what Alfred wanted but he hoped he was backtracking on his words from the last time they'd met at Ciro's and now he was less anxious about the vote and more about dinner after.</p>
<p>But now was not the time, the session was about to begin.</p>
<p>He sat down on the bench ready for the debate and vote. Bentinck began his bluster.</p>
<p>"It must be said, Mister Speaker, that the Prime Minister is a man who has never failed to change his mind when he found it expedient. A man without honor, or indeed any ideas of his own." Peel's head whipped around at the challenge to his honor. Bentinck continued, "A man who rejects his own party to bask in the glory of royal favor, and a man who is now turning his back on the very landowners that have made this nation great."</p>
<p>Edward could see the Prime Minister fuming, trembling with anger. He placed his hand on Peel's shoulder and encouraged Sir Robert to be calm and not take the bait. "May I see you a moment, sir."</p>
<p>He pulled Sir Robert out for a moment to calm him. "I've sent out the whips."</p>
<p>Peel wasn't hearing, "Bentinck is a total blackguard. I ought to call him out."</p>
<p>"I don't think a duel would be wise, Prime Minister," Drummond said, following Peel.</p>
<p>Peel didn't wait for Edward to finish his sentence. "He has insulted my honor! I may be a Prime Minister but I'm also a gentleman."</p>
<p>"No one could doubt that, sir. But I fear such an action would do nothing to advance your cause."</p>
<p>Peel sighed, hearing the better reason of his young secretary. He laughed once, "You sound like my wife. Lady Peel always tells me I'm too hasty. I trust Florence will keep you in order."</p>
<p>Edward lifted his head, mouth open debating if he should tell his mentor his plan to end the engagement. Peel spared him from the uncomfortable truth he worried he'd have to explain now.</p>
<p>"This is my Calvary, Drummond. I hope I can bare it with grace."</p>
<p>Those words hung in Edward's ears. Was Edward coming to his own Calvary? That was a question he did not have an answer for, though he had his suspicions, but Sir Robert was waiting for his response. "I know you will, sir."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred sat at the table waiting. He knew he was early, that Drummond could be in session for God knows how many more hours. But he couldn't risk that the vote would happen early and Edward would show up right after and Alfred wouldn't be there. No, he'd rather sit alone, pick at the loose threads of the table cloth. The hours crawled by.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"I speak for the workers of this country, who may not have votes, but who deserve nevertheless to buy untaxed food. Mister Speaker, I commend this bill to the house." Peel took his seat at the bench.</p>
<p>The Speaker looked around the Chamber, the curls of his wig swaying as his head scanned room. "I move the Bill of Repeal onto the table. Those in favor to the right, and those not in favor to the left. Lock the doors!" He shook his hand, the bell in his palm ringing loudly</p>
<p>Every member stood, and migrated to their chosen side, or the side dictated by their conscience. The Speaker tallied and stopped ringing and the Members of Parliament returned to the respective sides. The Speaker held the paper in his hand. "The ayes, three hundreds twenty seven; the nos, two hundred twenty nine. The ayes have it. UNLOCK."</p>
<p>Drummond turned, clapping his hand on Peel's back in congratulations. The members all rose either in defeat, or in celebration, many approaching the Prime Minister and Drummond to shake hands. As wonderful as the feeling of the victory was, all Edward could think of was getting to Ciro's; getting to Alfred.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The night dragged on and still Drummond did not show. Alfred looked at his pocket watch; hours had passed now and the clock was soon to roll to the next day.</p>
<p>"Lord Paget, I'm afraid that we are finishing up and closing the door. I do apologize."</p>
<p>Alfred nodded and rose. Every move broke his heart further, each step brought another tear. He knew he didn't deserve Edward's forgiveness, his words had been vile, but hope was all that he had, but now even that was gone.</p>
<p>He rose and called his carriage to take him back to Buckingham.</p>
<p>Entering the palace, the atmosphere was in stark contrast to the storm in his heart. It didn't take him long to discover that Princess Victoria's fever had broken... like his heart.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The small crowd gathered outside the House was cheering loudly for Sir Robert. Most were the poorer folks whose costs were going to go down significantly with the repeal of the Corn Laws. Of course, not everyone was thrilled with Sir Robert's victory, particularly the British farmers whose income had been protected by the Corn Laws. Their voices were drowned by the cheers for Sir Robert as he and Drummond made their way toward the carriage.</p>
<p>"Are you sure I can't take you home, Drummond?" Sir Robert said as he waved to the gathered crowd.</p>
<p>Edward turned to the Prime Minister with a smile, anticipation writ large across his face. Drummond was so easy to read. "Thank you, Sir, no. I have an engagement."</p>
<p>Peel smiled at the young man, both riding the celebratory high of a hard fought win in the House and Drummond knew that Her Majesty was going to be incredibly pleased to hear the news.</p>
<p>The jubilant atmosphere hid what was hiding just below the veneer. "Sir Robert Peel, prepare to meet your maker!" came a shout from a man in the crowd. The Prime Minister and his secretary both turned to see the man shouting. It was in that first instance that Drummond saw what was in the man's hand. A pistol with the hammer already falling.</p>
<p>Drummond swung his arm wildly, pushing Peel away and to safety but it left himself exposed as the small ball of lead flew from the barrel of the man's gun.</p>
<p>A sharp pain shot through Edward's chest as the ball tore through his flesh, lodging just above his heart. As he fell back, he could feel a warm dampness spread through his chest, and the taste of iron filled his mouth as his extremities went cold.</p>
<p>The crowd quickly grappled with the gunman as House police rushed in. But Drummond was already on the ground.</p>
<p>Peel shouted. "Drummond! Drummond! Oh, God, talk to me Drummond!" He was kneeling next to the young man, and while Edward could hear the commotion around him, he could not reply. He tried once, but all that came from his mouth was a gurgle of blood that rolled from the corner of his lips, and back down along his cheek, saturating into the waves of his dark hair. His vision blurred, all the while he could still hear the Prime Minister shouting for him. But his mind wasn't with Sir Robert, rather it was with the Queen's Equerry, sitting at Ciro's waiting for him; hoping that Edward would show. And the world faded to black.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Now we'll see some changes!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Love Surpassing Women</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>News of the event at the House get to Buckingham and the household reacts to the shocking news. Alfred has to deal with meeting Edward's family and fiance, all while wearing the mask of the Queen's courtier. Victoria shows her understanding better than Alfred could know.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Queen was pacing the room, the Prime Minister was more than an hour late for the audience. Peel had known how important the results of the vote were to both the Queen and the Prince, and now he was making them wait. Alfred stood in the corner of the room, where Her Majesty expected him. He was dreading the Prime Minister's arrival, knowing that Edward would be in tow and Alfred would have to face him after he'd left him waiting at the restaurant, making his feelings about Alfred clear. He did not forgive Alfred.</p><p>The door opened and Penge, the household's chief steward, walked in. "The Prime Minister and the Duke of Wellington." His head stayed down as he backed away. Alfred was surprised that Drummond wasn't with the Prime Minister, but he supposed he understood Edward's avoidance. The look on the Prime Minister's face was grave and Alfred knew that despite the general feeling that the Repeal Bill would pass, clearly that had not been the case.</p><p>Before Sir Robert began, Alfred stepped forward. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, may I be excused."</p><p>"Of course, Lord Alfred," the Queen offered.</p><p>As he stepped through door into the hall, he heard Peel tell the Queen that the pill had indeed passed. A small part of him wondered what had the Prime Minister so shaken. He'd find out later, no doubt, but at the moment he didn't want to risk that Drummond might simply be running late.</p><p>He was stepping though the hallway when he heard the plucking of the piano in the Music Room. He slowed, looking in. Wilhemina waved him in. "Lord Alfred, join us."</p><p>He nodded, hoping music and some quieter company might be the right thing for him. He had barely be in the room for five minutes when a footman appeared in the room.</p><p>"Her Majesty and the Prime Minister require everyone's attendance in the Throne Room," the footman said.</p><p>The whole group moved as a herd to the Throne Room. When they arrived, Victoria was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, Sir Robert was nearly inconsolable and the Prince had a grave expression; even the Duke looked crushed. The room was silent apart from the Queen's sobs, and Sir Robert's small gasps, otherwise it was a tomb. Alfred could feel his heart in his throat, something was dreadfully wrong.</p><p>Finally, the Duke spoke. "Some lunatic took a shot at Peel last night as he left the House. Drummond was with him and uh... he stopped the bullet."</p><p>The room started spinning, Alfred felt like he was going to be sick.</p><p>"Dead?" Prince Ernest asked.</p><p>The Duke shook his head. "Not yet. He's at hospital now; doctors are working on him and... the doctors are not confident."</p><p>The Duchess made a small noise of weakness. "Your Majesty, I wonder if Lord Alfred might escort me to the Amber Drawing Room."</p><p>Miss Coke spoke up. "I can take you, aunt."</p><p>"No, I want Lord Alfred."</p><p>Alfred stepped up, taking the Duchess's arm. As soon as they were out of the Throne Room, away from where they might be heard, the Duchess dropped his arm and looked around to see that they were alone. Satisfied that they were, she produced a small cut crystal flask. "Here, take a drink of this," she said, looking into Alfred's watery eyes.</p><p>Alfred tipped back and took a swallow of whisky.</p><p>"Good. Now take a deep breath." He did as instructed. "Now another." He followed her guidance. "Now go back to your room and do what you need to get yourself together."</p><p>Alfred's eyes widened in surprise. "I may be old but I'm not blind. I know what he's meant to you."</p><p>"Thank you, Duchess. But I don't think solitude is the best thing for me. In fact, if you'll allow me to beg my apologies, I um... I need to... I have to go." Alfred did not wait for the Duchess's reply, instead he seemed to head directly back to the Throne Room where the group was starting to disperse. Sir John had already left.</p><p>"Lord Alfred," the Queen said, fighting to keep her own composure. "I did not expect your return so soon. Rather I thought you might-" she stopped herself.</p><p>"Actually, Ma'am," it was then that he realized he had not bowed as he entered but he scarcely cared. "I wonder if I might be permitted to go to Drummond's sick bed, Ma'am."</p><p>Albert gave Victoria a strange look before remembering. "Right, you and Drummond are close friends," he said.</p><p>"Not now, Albert." She turned back to Alfred. "Of course, Lord Alfred. And let Drummond know our prayers are with him."</p><p>"He's not awake, Ma'am," the Duke said, "he may never be." Alfred felt sick again.</p><p>"All the more reason to send our well wishes and prayers, and for Lord Alfred to carry them to the young man," the Queen said.</p><p>"Victoria," Albert pressed.</p><p>"This is not the time, Albert," the monarch snapped. "Take care, Lord Alfred. If there is anything we can do, do let us know."</p><p>***</p><p>He was moving through the halls, looking for any sign that he was heading in the right direction. He didn't want to ask and risk unwanted questions but as he spent more and more time roaming, he conceded that it was the only way he was going to find Edward. He turned starting to look for a nurse when he saw Sir Robert standing in the hallway talking to a doctor and a couple who Alfred assumed must have been Drummond's parents.</p><p>Peel saw Alfred and waved him over. "Mister and Misses Drummond, this is the Queen's Chief Equerry, Lord Alfred Paget."</p><p>Alfred barely recognized the words Peel was saying but he put on his practiced courtiers mask and turned to the family. "Ma'am, Sir," he said his voice struggling to stay steady. "On behalf of Her Majesty, Queen Victoria, allow me to offer our deepest concerns and most hearty prays for Edw... Mister Drummond's recovery." He could feel his mask breaking up.</p><p>Peel turned to them, Drummond's parents, "Additionally, with as much time I spend at Buckingham Palace as well as needing someone to represent the Government on my behalf, Lord Alfred has become rather good friends with Drummond."</p><p>Alfred turned to the doctor. "How is he, sir?" There was an uncomfortable pause before Alfred had an excuse for asking. "Her Majesty will want to know. She is quite worried."</p><p>As the doctor took a few breaths, Alfred could hear Misses Drummond whispering to her husband, "An envoy from the Palace. Edward must have made quite the mark." The way the woman worded it it, as though it was all in the past, made Alfred's heart double its speed until he heard from the doctor.</p><p>"Well, Lord Alfred, we've managed to stop the bleeding, I hope we've been able to do so soon enough. He's patched up now but unconscious. We were able to retrieve the ball as well as any fragments of cloth from Drummond's shirt and coat, but that took us all night and we cannot be sure that an errant thread remains to fester. The next forty-eight hours will tell the tale." Alfred didn't know what to feel, was that cause for hope? Or to fear that the man he was in love with was going to die a slow death? "Mister Drummond is most lucky that the bullet didn't enter an inch lower or it would have blown through his heart."</p><p>Alfred wanted something more definitive. "What exactly is there to expect?"</p><p>"Well, Lord Alfred, he will either live, or he won't. It's simply too early to tell."</p><p>Alfred's frustration was wearing thin. He was well aware that he shouldn't, but he still had a trump card to play. "Is that what you expect me to tell Her Majesty? That he'll either live or die?"</p><p>Peel put his hand on Alfred's shoulder trying to calm him. "Lord Alfred, I'm sure the doctor is telling you all he can." Alfred whipped his head around as though he were about to turn on the Prime Minister but when he saw Sir Robert's red rimmed eyes, he couldn't bring himself to lash out.</p><p>"Can I see him?" Peel gave Alfred a strange look and the silence from the doctor and Drummond's family told him that he might have given too much away. A commotion down the hallway terrified Alfred. He dreaded turning around, worrying he'd see doctors and nurses rushing in to Edward's room to work on him.</p><p>A voice behind him repeated Alfred's question on his behalf, a feminine voice. "Well doctor, can Lord Alfred see Mister Drummond?" He knew that voice anywhere.</p><p>Sir Robert Peel spoke as Alfred took a breath and slowly turned around. "Mister and Misses Drummond-" Alfred interrupted.</p><p>"Sir Robert."</p><p>"Right," the Prime Minister said. "I suppose that is your job."</p><p>Alfred hadn't even looked yet but he knew. He stood to his full high - which admittedly wasn't nearly as impressive as it was when he was in uniform - and spoke with the clear voice of a veteran courtier. "Mister and Misses Drummond, may I introduce Her Majesty, Queen Victoria," Drummond's mother curtsied and Mister Drummond bowed his head. "This is Lady Wilhemina Coke, and Lady Harriet Sutherland."</p><p>"I am so sorry, Misses Drummond, allow me to extend my prayers with you, not just as the Queen but as a mother."</p><p>Alfred's earlier question continued to go unanswered until Harriet pressed again. "Doctor, the Queen and Lord Alfred still haven't received an answer."</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am," the doctor stammered. "The nurses are cleaning him up. They'll be in a little later to dress the wound but I suppose you can go in when they finish cleaning." He looked around at the gathered entourage. "I'm afraid I must caution the Ladies from going in. It is too much for your constitutions."</p><p>A small band of nurses filed out of the room and Alfred moved toward the door.</p><p>"Go on, Lord Alfred," Victoria encouraged. "I'll be in presently."</p><p>The doctor protested, "But Ma'am-"</p><p>"A string of nurses, women, just came through that door after spending time in the presence of Mister Drummond's wound."</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am," the doctor replied. "But the are acclimated to it. Your Majesty is not."</p><p>A humorless laugh escaped the Queen's lips as she turned to Alfred, who was still waiting by the door trying to steel himself for what was inside. "Doctor, every day Boxes arrive at the palace, with detailed descriptions of those dying in Ireland, of the <em>my</em> soldiers around the globe suffering and dying in <em>my name</em>. I read of my own subjects who are too impoverished to purchase a loaf of bread. I am a mother of four of my own at present and mother to every man, woman and child born to British citizenship around the world. I most certainly have the <em>constitution</em> to see a man whose been shot."</p><p>Despite himself, Alfred couldn't help but smile. He always loved when Victoria reminded someone, particularly men who'd underestimated her, that she was the Sovereign. From the other side of the hallway, Alfred saw Harriet wink at him and he took one final breath before pushing the door with his back and entering the room.</p><p>As the door closed with an audible click, Alfred turned to face the bed, the man on the bed.</p><p>His face was gray and his eyes had dark shadows around them and he was deathly still. His shirt had been torn open, the white fabric stained with blood. Just above his heart was a dark spot, black stitches criss-crossing it. He didn't look anything like the man whose face Alfred had memorized, committed each feature to perfect memory.</p><p>He backed against the wall and slid down to the floor, and finally let go. A sob tore through him as he looked at Edward. God, why did he have to say those terrible things to Edward. What if the last thing he said to Edward was that what they had between them was just an indiscretion. For no less than the fifth time since waking up, Alfred felt sick.</p><p>The door opened ever so slightly. "Lord Alfred," the Queen's voice drifted to his ears. "May I join you?"</p><p>Alfred tried to stand but found he couldn't so he mustered all of his strength into his voice. "Of course, Ma'am."</p><p>Victoria entered, alone. Her breath hitched as a small gasp as she approached the bed. Her eyes scanned the room, coming to rest on Alfred as he sat on the floor, his body shaking. "Lord Alfred."</p><p>He turned his head. "I'm very sorry, Ma'am. I can't seem to compose myself."</p><p>"Nonsense, Alfred." He did not miss that she addressed him informally. "He's your... your friend. I shouldn't expect you too."</p><p>"Thank you, Your Majesty."</p><p>She moved to sit on the chair next to the bed, and very tenderly took Drummond's hand in her own. "You know, Alfred. Seeing you today after the news, seeing you here, I can't help but think of what a mess I would be if something similar were to befall Albert."</p><p>Alfred tried to speak, to deny that anything would happen to the Prince.</p><p>"Come now, Alfred. Every time we leave Buckingham, we take a calculated risk. How many times now have you yourself seen a madman level a gun at me, like one had Sir Robert last night. And what if that madman had the same luck as the man last night, not shooting his target but the one next to me. That would almost certainly be Albert." She smiled sadly at Alfred. "I don't know that I would be able to go on. At least, not for some time, and I'd hope no one would expect me too." She leveled her gaze, their blue eyes meeting. "No one expects you to be alright, Lord Alfred."</p><p>Alfred had the uncomfortable feeling that she knew. He didn't know how, but he was all but certain that she knew.</p><p>"We'll get you through this, no matter the outcome," she turned her gaze from Alfred to Edward. "And we'll do everything in our power to get you through." She placed Edward's hand back on the bed and rose, coming to stand by Alfred. She offered her hand to assist him up. "You can always come back in, but for now, we must give his mother time with her son. And his fiance."</p><p>Alfred stepped out into the hall with the Queen. Another visitor had arrived, a pretty young woman, his and Drummond's age, her blonde curls framing her face. She was near hysterics. "I knew it. I was against this from the start," she ranted. "Ever since that madman took a shot at you, Ma'am. I've known something like this was going to happen."</p><p>Alfred looked at her with barely masked disdain as she continued.</p><p>"I do not want to be widowed before I'm thirty, or even before I'm married." Every word upset Alfred as she made this whole tragedy about her rather than Edward.</p><p>Victoria sighed and turned to the doctor. "Can he be moved?"</p><p>Small noises of surprise circulated. "Under supervision, Ma'am. And best before he's awake."</p><p>"Good," she turned on Alfred. "Lord Alfred, have the arrangements made to have him moved to the Palace. I want Sir James to monitor his recovery."</p><p>The doctor seemed to take offense. "I must protest, Your Majesty. We are fully capably of mending Mister Drummond."</p><p>"I have no doubt of that," the Queen replied, looking at Paget. "But you see, during the many events in my reign so far, both domestic and abroad, Mister Drummond has made himself as indispensable to me as he has the Prime Minister and I would prefer it if he were in the care of the same doctor that I entrust my children too." She spoke with the finality and authority of a monarch and the argument was closed.</p><p>***</p><p>They had prepared him to move by dosing him with additional laudanum, to ensure he stayed unconscious. The doctor had explained that if he were awake, each bump and shimmy of the carriage would be excruciating. But as Alfred rode in the carriage with Drummond, he watched his face twist, and Alfred wasn't convinced that Edward didn't feel each bump even in his state.</p><p>Florence rode with Edward and Alfred, though her eyes were on Alfred, not her fiance. "You know, Lord Alfred. For as close as you and the Queen say your are with Edward, I don't think he's ever mentioned you to me."</p><p>"And I'm sure your friendship with Miss Coke simply slipped his mind until she reminded him." He knew the words were fed by his resentment of her but that was irrelevant at the moment.</p><p>"I see," she replied. "He's also never mentioned being so important to the Queen. That's something he should be proud of, something you'd think he'd want to share with the woman who was to be his wife."</p><p>"Mmm," was the only reply Alfred gave her. After a moment more he turned to her. "Is there a question in there, Miss Kerr, or are you simply musing aloud as to the honesty of Her Majesty?"</p><p>That seemed to catch Florence off guard. "Neither, Lord Alfred. I don't expect you to know the inner workings of my fiance's mind and I certainly don't mean to imply that the Queen is lying. I just am curious why Edward has never mentioned it."</p><p>"I daresay I know his mind better than you," Alfred meant to say under his breath. Florence's expression made it clear however; that she had heard; Alfred couldn't find it in him to care. He nodded out the window to distract Florence and she gaped as the carriage rolled to a stop in front of the splendid entrance of Buckingham Palace.</p><p>Nurses appeared - nurses of the Royal Academy of Medicine, not St. Bartholomew's - to return Drummond to a gurney and carry him into the room that would be come his sick room. A room that Alfred noticed, was conspicuously next to his own quarters.</p><p>Alfred, Florence, the Drummonds and the Queen followed the nurses as they carried Edward to the room where Sir James was waiting.</p><p>"Victoria!" Albert called as he came around the corner. "Victoria what is all this."</p><p>The Queen waved Alfred and the family into the room as she stayed in the hall to talk to the Prince.</p><p>Alfred could hear through the slightly ajar door the argument taking place.</p><p>"All of <em>this</em>, Albert, is Edward Drummond. A man who has done much for this family and this monarch, not to mention our Government and dear to Lord Alfred. A man who is close to death who we can help."</p><p>"But here, at the Palace, Victoria. Where Lord Alfred is." His agitation and discomfort was clear.</p><p>The Queen sighed. "We are not arguing this, Albert. Yes, here at the Palace, yes where Alfred is. And if you can believe it, right next to Alfred's own rooms."</p><p>"I would not allow it. It isn't normal."</p><p>"You're right, Albert. It isn't, but that's not the same as wrong. And it sounds like it's a good thing you don't have to allow it, I do. I am the Sovereign, Albert. I am."</p><p>"Victoria, the man is to be married."</p><p>"Let's let Drummond heal before we confront that, Albert. I'm sure he will deal with it. He's never struck me as the sort to not have a plan."</p><p>"You are the Sovereign, Victoria." The Prince sighed and Alfred could hear his footsteps as he retreated.</p><p>The Queen entered, immediately catching how close Alfred was to the door, certain he'd heard the whole conversation. Her eyebrow rose as she made eye contact and Alfred ducked his head, partly as a bow, and partly acknowledging that he ought not have eavesdropped.</p><p>The room was comfortable, perhaps a little sterile for the Palace, but much more pleasant that the drab, stark hospital room Edward had started in. The Drummonds, Florence included, had left some hours ago and Alfred had taken post at Edward's head, sitting in a plush chair as he watched Edward's chest rise and fall with each shallow breath.</p><p>"Come on, my darling. Pull through this." His voice was weak from the continued crying.</p><p>"How is he?" Harriet asked from the door.</p><p>Alfred didn't lift his gaze. "I don't know. He doesn't seem to change. He's warm at least, but not feverish right now, though Sir James says that could change."</p><p>"Why have you got a sponge?"</p><p>"His lips were dry. I thought he might be thirsty, but I was worried he might choke if I tried to help him with a glass. So I thought if I dabbled small bits of water from time to time that might help."</p><p>Harriet smiled at her friend. "Alfred, get some sleep. Go next door and get in bed. Edward will be here in the morning."</p><p>"I can't, I need to be here if he wakes up... or if he-" he couldn't finish the sentence. The word had caught in his throat like a lump and he started crying freely again as he reached for Drummond's hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well folks, we've left canon! Hope you enjoy where we go from here. Let me know and I'll see you with Chapter 6 on Saturday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. You Believe They Were Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edward's recovery proves to be an undertaking with more conflict than healing as Alfred struggles with the knowledge that the Queen knows and the ramifications. Florence makes her opinions known and Peel faces a reckoning.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You have no clue how badly I wanted to write in a run down of the previous chapters, but start the run down off with: *in by best Laura Linney voice* "Previously on Victoria:"</p><p>Anyway, I hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hours turned into days. Days turned into a week; Alfred never left the side of Edward's bed. Some days Edward's family would come in to sit with him. His mother seemed like a kind woman, soft spoken. His father however, was a boisterous, opinionated man who more than once assumed to know more about the workings of the monarchy than the Queen. Alfred was entertained by Victoria's all too curt lessons in what the role of Sovereign is, often embarrassing Mister Drummond.</p><p>Some days Florence would come sit with him in utter silence for a few hours and leave. He tried not to resent her but quickly found that to be a losing battle, but not for the reason he'd expected. No, he no longer hated her for her access to Edward, for her future with him - he held hope that when Edward awoke, he still wanted to be with Alfred and break off the engagement - his resentment stemmed now from how she made Edward's attack about her and how she was cold, both to Alfred, but also to Edward, who, while still unconscious, needed love and support.</p><p>And some days, Queen Victoria would come and sit for a while. He'd stopped pulling his hand away when she entered, becoming comfortable around her. She would take the chair opposite him, on Edward's right side, and take his hand also. Sometimes she'd sit with the men in silent support, sometimes she'd speak directly to Edward, offering prayers and words of encouragement, and sometimes she'd speak with Alfred. He always skirted the topic of he and Edward, what they were. Not that he could actually explain it; for one, even he didn't know, just what he hoped; and second, he wasn't sure a of a word that would describe it.</p><p>
  <em>"I find the death of Patroclus most affecting," Alfred had said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes. The lengths Achilles went to to honor his friend."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You believe they were friends."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wouldn't know what else to call it," Drummond had said, after searching for a better word.</em>
</p><p>Alfred pondered his conversation for a while before he spoke to the Queen. "Ma'am? How... How did you know?"</p><p>"Scotland, Lord Alfred."</p><p>He looked at her confused.</p><p>"I was on the top tower of the estate with Duke Atholl. I was able to see the lake and the sunset and two young men embracing, tentatively at first but with building desperation.</p><p>Alfred blushed, hearing the Queen so openly discuss what she'd caught them doing.</p><p>"It rather reminded me of me and Albert."</p><p>Alfred chuckled a moment. "All due respect, Your Majesty. I would hope not. Your Majesty and Prince Albert argue far too often for me."</p><p>Victoria laughed. "Neither you nor Drummond will carry the weight of the Crown. Albert chafes under its weight; how he has no authority and yet the Crown restricts him just the same."</p><p>"No, Ma'am but we'll be under the weight of society and decency laws, enforced in your name, Ma'am." Victoria looked lost in thought for a moment but Alfred continued. "Unlike you and the Prince, Edward and I can not live together for fear of drawing suspicion. We haven't even a word to describe us."</p><p>"Alfred," she used his name informally again. "I have brought you this far. My support for you does not run dry when Drummond wakes. I may not be able to create a new word for you, but I will ensure your safety." She looked down at Edward. "Both of you."</p><p>Her thumb ran back and forth over Edward's hand, a caring gesture that many would be surprised to see Victoria make.</p><p>Then, after eight days, a stirring came from the man in the bed. It started small and slight, little movements of his head and groans. His eyes were screwed up tight. "Alfred? Alfred, please. I don't want her. I don't want her here. Alfred, make Florence leave." He tossed his head and Alfred placed his hands on either side of the man's face. "Please, Alfred. My future is mine to decide."</p><p>Alfred's heart shattered a little more, hearing Edward plea, remembering the last conversation they'd had. "Edward, my darling, your future is yours."</p><p>"Alfred," he said, his eyes finally fluttering open. Alfred looked down into the warm, chocolate eyes that had so long been locked behind his closed eyelids. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. "Alfred, please don't send me away."</p><p>"Edward, we have company."</p><p>Drummond turned his head and his eyes landed on the monarch. "Your Majesty," he said trying to get up to greet the Queen properly but a sharp hiss escaped and he collapsed back to the pillows.</p><p>"Edward, what do you remember?"</p><p>"The Corn Laws? Scotland?" There was a certain excitement in his voice but suddenly his face seemed to crumple. "An indiscretion."</p><p>"Drummond," the Queen started. "You were shot. A man tried to kill Peel and you saved his life."</p><p>His eyes moved back to Alfred. "It's true, Edward."</p><p>"Alfred, I'm sorry. I've said too much."</p><p>"Not at all, my darling."</p><p>The Queen rubbed his hand again comforting. "The only thing you need to concern yourself with right now, Mister Drummond, is getting well. The rest will all work out." The Queen rose and started to make her exit. "Small steps, gentlemen. He's going to need time."</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred sat at in the small sofa across the room scowling. Florence was fluttering all around Edward's sick bed, speaking to him in a sickly sweet tone.</p><p>"What ever you need, my heart," she would say, "just send the word."</p><p>"Florence," Edward tried to stop her more than once, but any interruption, she cut off.</p><p>"I suppose that you now have your reason to push back the date," she said as she moved to fluff Edward's pillows, unprompted.</p><p>Alfred's eyes shot up at the mention of the wedding.</p><p>Edward hissed in pain as she adjusted his position. "Florence, I wish you wouldn't."</p><p>"Nonsense," she said, "I'm sure Lord Alfred has done a fine job attending to you before you awoke. But what you need now is the love given by a woman," she said and Alfred could feel his blood boil, "by your fiance," she continued.</p><p>Edward sighed as she laid yet another blanket over the man. "Florence, I need no more blankets. I'm being crushed by them as it is."</p><p>"Edward," she said with a resolve, "you are very delicate right now. We mustn't allow you to catch a chill."</p><p>"Indeed, we mustn't... Edward," Alfred said, his voice bitter as he mocked the woman.</p><p>Florence turned on him. "Lord Alfred, I wonder if I might have a moment alone with <em>my fiance.</em>"</p><p>Alfred's eyes found Edward's, searching for Edward to rebuke her, but the man simply nodded.</p><p>"Indeed," Alfred said, rising from the sofa. "I'm sure you and your <em>fiance</em> have much to discuss."</p><p>Alfred did not miss how Edward's face screwed up in a wince at Alfred's words; he left nonetheless, but, as was seeming to become a habit, he remained just beyond the door, listening.</p><p>"Why must he always be in here, Edward?" she asked with what Alfred was sure was barely masked contempt.</p><p>"Because he cares for me, Florence. We have become, quite close."</p><p>"Edward, I'm sure Lord Alfred means nothing but the best, but have you ever heard the names he's been given by members of the Household? I'm certain there is more to this."</p><p>Alfred clapped his hand over his mouth to avoid making a sound.</p><p>Edward, on the other hand did let his breathing hitch. "Names such as?"</p><p>"Edward, my heart, I know you see the best in people always, but do you not see how he calls you by your Christian name, how he encourages you to call him simply 'Alfred?'" Edward must have shrugged, because Alfred could hear the sharp intake of breath as Florence kept speaking. "The Lady Paget, as I've heard him called, is unnaturally close to you, Edward. And I'm sorry, but the Queen is doing nothing to discourage it. It's as if she is enabling her little pet. Please, let's have them take you home where I can look after you."</p><p>Alfred could hear Edward shifting in his bed. "Florence, dear. I wish to stay here. There is no where I will get care I do here." Alfred chose to believe he was speaking of Alfred. "The Queen's doctor is the best I can be charged to."</p><p>Florence moved to protest, but Edward continued. "Furthermore, I don't really care about other's opinions of Lord Alfred. He is my dearest, and I will not listen as someone disparages him. Most of all you."</p><p>"Edward," she disputed.</p><p>"I'm tired, Florence. I need to sleep. I'm sure Alfred can summon a footman to call for carriage for you."</p><p>"Edward," she tried again.</p><p>"Have a pleasant afternoon, Florence," he said, shifting.</p><p>Alfred reentered the room, not leaving much question that'd he'd been listening.</p><p>"Lord Alfred," she greeted, "I wonder if you might be able to have a carriage take me home?"</p><p>Albert's glare was cold. "Miss Kerr, when you step out into the hall, to your left will be a footman in red. He can summon you a carriage." His gaze moved from the woman to Edward and softened as their eyes met. Edward dropped his gaze, trying to be more discreet.</p><p>"Rest well, my heart," she said as she moved toward the door.</p><p>"Goodbye, Florence." He said it with even greater finality that he'd used against Alfred all those months ago, and Alfred couldn't help the smug smile that settled onto his face as he took the seat next to Edward.</p><p>***</p><p>"It is good to see you with your eyes open, Mister Drummond," the Queen said, standing in the doorway.</p><p>Edward tried to tug his hand from Alfred's but Alfred held on tight.</p><p>Victoria smiled. "No cause for concern."</p><p>"Her Majesty knows, darling."</p><p>She sat down in the chair and took Drummond's hand. "How are you feeling? Is there much pain?"</p><p>"Not at all, Your Majesty. Just sore enough to cause waves of extreme nausea when I move." All three laughed but Edward started coughing.</p><p>"Don't over tax yourself, Drummond," the Queen said. "It wouldn't do to bring you here to have you do yourself in," she joke but held a fragment of truth.</p><p>Edward's mind started spinning. He needed to explain himself, to protect Alfred. "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I think it was neither of our intentions to let this become what it is." He tugged again at his hand, this time Alfred released him with a disappointed sigh. "I must admit that I don't understand it and never expected it. I can only beg your indulgence, Your Majesty. Do not punish Lord Alfred, I beg of you."</p><p>Victoria turned just slightly, the full force of her gaze coming to rest on his face. He'd never had it directed at himself before and for the first time since he'd known her, Edward understood what it was about the small Queen that made the highest and most prestigious of men cower. "Mister Drummond, I admit, what you and Alfred share," again, she called him Alfred, "I do not understand. And perhaps I cannot without being in your place. But what I do understand is that what you share is no less powerful and honest than that between Albert and I. That was clear beyond description when you were first shot. I have known Lord Alfred since my ascension. He is not a man to become easily excited or to become dithered. He has been a trusted advisor and friend since I took the Throne as a girl of eighteen. Nearly a decade has passed and I still trust Alfred's advice above that of even my Prime Minister. And I trust his heart. If Alfred's heart directs him to you, then I must use all my power as Sovereign to protect him... and you."</p><p>Edward glanced at Alfred, his grin making his brilliant blue eyes seem to glow.</p><p>"You and Alfred deserve to live as one."</p><p>Edward turned back the the Queen. "Majesty, I am beyond affected and am immensely grateful for you pledge to protect us and support us, but surely you know that there are obstacles that are not simply to be over looked. We cannot live as most others."</p><p>The Sovereign raised her hand, silencing the man. "Lord Alfred and I have already broached that particular question. I haven't an answer for you yet. But you have my assurance as your Queen, as your friend, that I will work this out."</p><p>She rose. "Gentleman," she said simply as she made her exit.</p><p>Edward turned his head to face Alfred, his mouth agape.</p><p>***</p><p>It had been nearly a week since the Queen had shocked Edward so thoroughly. Alfred still hadn't left his side, even as Florence came and went, and his parents. More surprising was the arrival of the Pagets. Lord Henry Paget, First Marquess of Anglesey, had sat on the edge of the bed calling Edward 'my boy' and using endearments. Lady Charlotte Paget had been affectionate with him and went so far as to even say that she loved him in the same breath she'd said the same to Alfred. And Alfred's older brother, Lord Clarence Paget smiled knowingly at Edward. More over, Alfred did not withdraw his hand from Edward's when his family arrived. It seemed that the Pagets had been aware of Alfred's inclinations all along.</p><p>"My biggest fear," Lady Paget said, "has not been that Alfred was to be shamed for or we to be ashamed of. Instead, I shed many a tear for Alfred's happiness. This world is cruel, Edward. And crueler still would be a boy as loving as mine would not find someone to love his as much as deserves."</p><p>"Lady Charlotte," Edward started, "this is not an offense to you?"</p><p>The woman laughed. "No, dear Mister Drummond. It is far more offensive that you should have to be so fearful."</p><p>***</p><p>Peel stood at the foot of the bed, Her Majesty to his side. Just beyond the room, Edward could hear the Prince muttering under his breath, though he could not be sure of what he was saying.</p><p>"You're looking on the mend, Drummond," Sir Robert said, eyeing the angry scar that was open to the air. The doctor had said it 'needed to air out.'</p><p>"Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to getting back to the House."</p><p>Peel and the Queen shared a glance.</p><p>"Drummond," the Prime Minister began. "I came here today to inform Her Majesty that tomorrow morning, my Government will be defeated and I will resign as Prime Minister."</p><p>"Sir Robert," Edward started. "Surely you will still require my assistance."</p><p>"Drummond," Peel had a defeated look. "I'm sorry. You've gotten quite the respect at the House right now for what you did, but you are too saddled to the Corn Law repeal and Bentinck and his cronies are still out for blood. Blood which I fear they will smell on you, quite literally, and since they cannot directly attack me any longer, they will go after you." Edward's face dropped in despair. "Bentinck would rather the Tories lose power for a decade and wound me than to admit he'd been wrong."</p><p>"What then is to happen to Drummond, if he's not in the House?" Alfred asked.</p><p>"Her Majesty and I were discussing that just moments ago."</p><p>Victoria's eyes met Edward's. "Mister Drummond, I wonder if you might be so kind as to serve as my own Personal Secretary."</p><p>Peel jumped in. "You've already got a good relationship with Her Majesty, Drummond, and having someone at her side who has been in the Chamber would serve her well. The hours are long and unpredictable, Drummond. Royal service is a vocation, not just a career. I'm sure Lord Alfred can tell you that it is not something one goes into with ambitions for advancement. You may be told that you are needed just an hour before."</p><p>"Sir Robert, Your Majesty, I am honored by the offer but I admit that there are things that I do not understand. How is Your Majesty's Secretary always available to you?"</p><p>"Mister Drummond, there is an expectation that you would reside at Buckingham."</p><p>Edward looked to Alfred who was trying to hide a grin. "What of my house?"</p><p>"That is certainly your decision, Mister Drummond, though it seems a superfluous expense. This is not to be taken lightly, sir. I need a Private Secretary who is a constant, who knows me and does not change with the politics. I suggest you get a better understanding of what Royal service entails. Speak with Lord Alfred, he can provide an example of what round the clock service requires."</p><p>Edward nodded and the Queen took her leave. Outside, Prince Albert's voice became clearer. "It is ridiculous, Victoria."</p><p>"It is how this Government works, Albert. I don't like it any more than you."</p><p>Sir Robert smiled. "For all the headaches the two of them have caused, it's been a pleasure to serve the Queen. You'd do well to take her offer, Drummond. I know you worked in the House to make a difference, but you can make just as great a difference here, maybe more. Make the Queen understand those over which she rules. We've only just begun changing this country, Drummond. With you'r help, the 'Victorian Age' might go down as one of England's strongest. She trusts you."</p><p>"I should like to think on it, Prime Minister."</p><p>"Of course. But I dare say you'll want to have an answer to the Queen when I resign tomorrow. Rest, Drummond, and have an answer." Peel smiled at the young man and took his leave, leaving Alfred and Edward alone.</p><p>"This is what she came up with, isn't it?" Edward asked.</p><p>"It does solve a great many of our problems."</p><p>Edward nodded. "Is it really as demanding as all that?"</p><p>"Sometimes," Alfred answered honestly. "Probably not so much for you. I'm not just an advisor, I guard Her Majesty and at times, as with the other courtiers, am window dressing."</p><p>"A very lovely window dressing you are too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp, hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know. And I'll see ya on Wednesday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Consequences of Transition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alfred helps Edward decide on the Queen's offer. Peel's prediction rings true. Edward is given an ultimatum and carries through with rather lasting consequences.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's for the best, right?" Edward asked, trying to sit up in bed.</p>
<p>"The very best, Edward." Alfred smiled at him. "It's for us. We won't run nearly the risk. And we'll be together."</p>
<p>Drummond sighed struggling to sit. Every shift of his weight was like being shot again, searing pain tearing through his chest. It was true he'd made progress, but a long road remained. "Do you think she can wait for me to mend?"</p>
<p>Alfred rolled his eyes. "Edward, she's done this <em>for you</em>. She will wait."</p>
<p>"What of the other courtiers, and the staff. You've heard what Florence said about what they call you. We can't risk a rumor gathering more steam. We could both be out."</p>
<p>Alfred placed his hand on Edward's head, his fingers twisting in the dark waves. "Edward, we are under the protection of the Queen of England. Harriet, Wilhelmina and Emma already know." He leaned over the man. "Edward. We are safe here. The Queen is with us and we have friends... and we have each other."</p>
<p>Edward blinked slowly and leaned upward, struggling against the pain. Alfred could see in his eyes how much he was suffering, reaching for him, so Alfred leaned down and closed the distance, bringing their lips together.</p>
<p>A knock on the door made Alfred jump back but his hand remained on Edward's head as the Queen entered, followed by Peel. Victoria opened her eyes wide, telegraphing to Alfred, and Peel's brow furrowed in confusion briefly as Alfred's hand withdrew from Drummond's head.</p>
<p>Despite the guests in the room, Edward had a rather foolish looking smile on his face.</p>
<p>The Queen started the conversation. "We've come down here to inform you both that this morning, Sir Robert's Government was defeated in the House. As such, I have reluctantly accepted his resignation as Prime Minister."</p>
<p>Edward sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, sir."</p>
<p>"Don't be, Drummond. I've had a good long run. And we've accomplished a lot. I'm very proud of what I've done as Prime Minister."</p>
<p>Alfred sat quietly listening to the exchange. He admitted, government was not his forte.</p>
<p>"You mustn't talk like that, Sir Robert," Edward said. "The Tories will be back and you'll be at Downing Street again."</p>
<p>Peel shook his head. "No, Drummond, I won't. My career is over. It's time I spent my time with Lady Peel. Join her in the country... Take up fishing or some nonsense." Everyone chuckled lightly. "Drummond, you've done so much for this country. And without your diligence, I scarcely could have succeeded in repealing the Corn Laws. And you saved my life. I am indebted to you, son."</p>
<p>Color rose up in Edward's cheeks and his focus dropped to the sheet lying across his lap. Alfred loved the flush of color. It was warmth and joy, and most importantly, it was life.</p>
<p>Peel kept speaking, trying to avoid getting choked up. "I think Her Majesty is waiting for your answer, Drummond."</p>
<p>Edward's smile flashed to Alfred for the briefest of moments before he turned back to Sir Robert and the Queen.</p>
<p>"Sir Robert, Your Majesty. I did take your advice. I had several conversations with Lord Alfred, to get a better understanding of what the vocation of Royal service is. Her Majesty was right in, that his years of service stand as an example of the life in Her Majesty's Household. I admit that I have reservations as to my ability to live up to the standard required but if Her Majesty will grant me the grace of learning, I would be honored to stand as your Private Secretary, Ma'am." He bowed his head in respect as he finished.</p>
<p>The Queen glanced at Alfred, who was smiling broadly, and back to Edward as he lifted his head. Their eyes met though she did not hold his gaze. "Drummond, if you felt you did not need time to acclimate to the role, I would find you ill equipped."</p>
<p>"One thing I have learned about Drummond right from the start, Your Majesty, is that he is always very well equipped," Alfred said, remembering an exchange more than a year ago on the balcony where Alfred struggled to light his cheroot but Drummond, without hesitation, produced a tinderbox. <em>'How very well equipped, you are,</em>' Alfred had said to Drummond. It had been their first true interaction.</p>
<p>"Very happy to hear it, Lord Alfred." The monarch nodded to her former Prime Minister.</p>
<p>"Drummond, the last three years have been a privilege," Peel said, a sad smile on his face as he turned to leave. The Queen glanced back with a smile, and followed Sir Robert out, leaving the two men alone again.</p>
<p>"I'm proud of you, Edward." Alfred was beaming. "You'll do well as her secretary."</p>
<p>"I'll be able to take on anything England throws at me, if I've got you, Alfred."</p>
<p>They still hadn't said the words that they both acknowledged in themselves, though it hung there between them. An unspoken understanding.</p>
<p>Alfred started to lean down, slowly closing the distance between his lips and Edward's but a click at the door brought him to a stop.</p>
<p>The Queen reappeared. "Mister Drummond, there is still the matter of your betrothal."</p>
<p>Edward looked at her, his face a mixture of agreement and horror. "I know, Your Majesty. It's not quite as simple, ma'am. I have every intention to break it off, but the engagement was planned when we were still children. Our fathers arranged it. I think the Marquess was trying to ensure a future for Florence, marrying her into my family." He sighed looking up at Alfred. "When I end this, it will leave her with only her father's debts. Worse, I fear there is some suspicions. She has been unnecessarily cruel when speaking about Alfred and using some rather inflammatory means to describe him."</p>
<p>Alfred laughed. "Come now, darling. I have been and shall be called far worse than 'Lady Paget.'"</p>
<p>The Queen was not nearly as amused as Alfred. "Edward, I cannot imagine how uncomfortable this is going to be for you. And I'm sure it will be as uncomfortable for Miss Kerr, but this is something that must be done. And you have the opportunity."</p>
<p>From the corner of his eye, Edward could see Alfred smiling and nodding in agreement. He still hesitated, not quite understanding.</p>
<p>"Mister Drummond." Her voice was flat and she spoke with clear authority. "I have already made it incredibly clear that you and Lord Alfred are safe, under the protection of the Crown, even if it were to become more than rumor. This must be done, soon. I'm afraid I must insist."</p>
<p>Steeling himself with the phrase that would become his refrain, like it already was for Alfred, Edward took in a deep breath and said the words that were already far more comfortable than he might have expected. "Yes Ma'am."</p>
<p>"Edward?" Florence asked as she entered without knocking, quickly embarrassing herself, realizing that the Queen was in the room. "Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness," she said, curtsying low.</p>
<p>Alfred spoke, crisply and clearly. "Actually, Miss Kerr. When addressing the Sovereign, one first calls her 'Your Majesty.' After you may continue to call her 'Your Majesty' or simply 'Ma'am.' Highness are used for the remaining members of the monarch's family, such as His Royal Highness, Prince Albert, or Her Royal Highness, Princess Victoria."</p>
<p>Florence turned back to face the Queen. "I'm very sorry, <em>Your Majesty</em>."</p>
<p>"Not at all, Miss Kerr. If you'll all excuse me." The Queen turned, looking over the room at Alfred and Edward. Alfred had returned to sitting next to Edward. "Mister Drummond, I trust you'll take what I've said under advisement."</p>
<p>"Yes Ma'am," he said as the Queen stepped through the door and let it close behind her with a quiet click.</p>
<p>Florence turned back toward the boys. She looked on at the two men; her face was all but an accusation. "Lord Alfred," she spat. Alfred was smirking smugly as he tipped his head forward in silent greeting. "Edward, the paper is saying that Sir Robert's been beaten."</p>
<p>Drummond nodded his head, acknowledging that he already knew. "Yes; he's retiring."</p>
<p>"What about you? Will you simply move on to the next Prime Minister?"</p>
<p>Edward smiled at her kindly, but it was an empty smile, the sort that spoke of half truths. "Florence, Her Majesty has offered me the position of Private Secretary."</p>
<p>Florence gave a small smile, her brow furrowed, and she shrugged her shoulders, all around a gesture of confusion. "To who?" Her eyes flashed to Alfred, his calm external face, his arms tucked behind his back and his utterly perfect posture. Everything about the way Alfred stood there was arrogant and she suddenly feared that her fiance was to be Alfred Paget's private secretary.</p>
<p>"To Her Majesty," Alfred answered, his tone clipped and clear, the diction of a practiced courtier.</p>
<p>She did not trust him. "Lord Alfred, might I have a few moments of privacy to make this decision with my soon to be husband?"</p>
<p>Alfred looked down at Edward, a small smile on his face.</p>
<p>Edward took a deep breath in. "Actually, Florence. There isn't anything about the position for us to discuss. I have already informed the Queen that I would be happy to accept the position."</p>
<p>"I see." Barely contained anger was bubbling to the surface. "You are aware that working in the Household is round the clock service, right. Will there be some poor page boy whose job it is to simply run back and forth to summon you in the middle of the night or the small hours?"</p>
<p>"Actually, Florence. I'll be selling the house and moving into quarters here at the Palace."</p>
<p>"Edward!" Alfred watched as the young woman's composure slipped away entirely. "Did it not occur to you that perhaps this was something that you ought to discuss with your wife-to-be. I don't want to live at the Palace!"</p>
<p>Edward looked at Alfred and took strength from the blue eyes of the man he loved so dearly. "Lord Alfred, would you please sit over on the couch, that Florence might sit here?"</p>
<p>Alfred stood with a smile. "Of course, Drummond." Alfred knew what was coming and in some small way, he felt sorry for Florence. He was thrilled that Edward's wedding was truly being called off but what made his heart swell with some strange pride, was he wasn't being sent away.</p>
<p>Florence took her seat next Edward. "Florence, you know I care for you, greatly," he preambled. "In fact, I can hardly think of a woman who might be a better match."</p>
<p>She smiled brightly and Alfred truly did feel for the girl; she had no idea what was coming.</p>
<p>"The day I was shot, among many other things, has forced me to reevaluate many things in my life. The Queen has given me an incredible opportunity, I cannot turn it down." He breathed heavily and Alfred saw that Florence must have guessed where the conversation was headed. "I think you know that I've never had your heart." Her face crumpled, not just at the impending rejection, but because the words were true. "and I think you also know, that you've never had mine."</p>
<p>"Edward-"</p>
<p>"Let me finish." He took what Alfred could only describe as a gulp of air. "Florence, you are truly a wonderful woman who deserves all the best. The best which I cannot offer and think I shall never be able to."</p>
<p>Florence had started to cry, yet somewhere, bubbling beneath her tears, Alfred could see anger. Anger that was direct at him.</p>
<p>"So you see, Florence. It is only right that I release you from our engagement."</p>
<p>"You <em>release</em> me?" Tears were running down her face but the bitterness in her voice stung. "As though you are some noble man who discovered that I have been untrue, like you're trying to preserve my reputation." Alfred thought that he may have read the situation wrong. Perhaps her tears contained no sadness at all, but rather pure anger. "You release me, like you are granting me some boon. I'm to be left with nothing, Edward Drummond, and you are going to live in BUCKINGHAM PALACE with the Queen of England," she looked pointedly at Paget, "And Queen Victoria."</p>
<p>Alfred's eyebrow rose at the insinuation. He stood, clothing himself in mock indignation. "Miss Kerr, I suggest you tread very carefully before you make any further accusations. You are after all speaking of the Lord Alfred Henry Paget and Chief Equerry to the Sovereign."</p>
<p>"Alfred," Edward waved him down.</p>
<p>Florence stood and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "Mark my words, Edward Drummond, this is not the end. There's something rather queer going on here. And I'll puzzle this out."</p>
<p>The door clicked open again and the Queen entered with smile on her face of feigned ignorance. "I'd forgotten, Drummond. I know you are still recovering, but I was rather hoping I could ask Lord Alfred to bring some documents for you to read through at your leisure."</p>
<p>Florence fought to keep a neutral face.</p>
<p>The Queen continued. "I think I'm finally getting the Court that will help me best. I think you and Lord Alfred shall make a rather fine match. Don't you agree, Miss Kerr?"</p>
<p>Edward wished the Queen hadn't said anything but on the other side of the room, Alfred was struggling to swallow down his laugh.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, <em>Your Majesty</em>, but I cannot say. You see I've just been <em>released</em> from my engagement to Mister Drummond."</p>
<p>"Oh that is sorry news for you, but I hope you don't mind my saying, Drummond, Miss Kerr's loss is rather our gain. Lord Alfred?" she asked turning around.</p>
<p>Alfred struggled not to laugh and he coughed when he realized all eyes were on him. "Oh uh... yes, Ma'am. We are rather lucky to have Drummond."</p>
<p>"Indeed," Victoria said, rounding on Florence. "Oh I do imagine this is hard, but surely you understand that this is what's best for a bright, young man such as Mister Drummond. Finding such a perfect fit is a rare thing indeed, even if this does cause you hardship."</p>
<p>The Queen was so very good at saying one thing while meaning another. As far as Florence was hearing, the Queen was speaking about the new job for Edward. But more importantly, and more honestly, Victoria was telegraphing her support for Alfred and Edward, made especially easier by the uncomfortable conversation that Edward had done so masterfully.</p>
<p>"Come, Miss Kerr. I understand that I am stealing Drummond and his support from you," she said. "And so I offer you the sum of three hundred pounds from the Royal purse," she said, almost dragging Florence from the room. "And of course we shall call for a carriage to take you home. I do hope it will, in some small way, soften the blow."</p>
<p>The door closed and Edward and Alfred were alone. Alfred returned to his place and Edward's side, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears; tears of joy and liberation.</p>
<p>"You've done it, Edward!" he praised. "And you did it so well."</p>
<p>"It's done then, isn't it?" Edward said. He'd started shaking.</p>
<p>"Edward, are you alright?"</p>
<p>He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "I am. I'm sure she's right, this isn't over. But the engagement is. And now I am yours, without reservation."</p>
<p>Alfred stared down at the man in the bed, looking deep into his chocolate eyes. "You know something, Edward Drummond?"</p>
<p>"Hmm?"</p>
<p>Alfred leaned in and kissed the man, desperation building. "I daresay, I'm quite hopelessly in love with you."</p>
<p>Edward wrapped his arms around the back of Alfred's neck and pulled him down. Alfred stumbled, falling into bed with Edward. He took care during his fall not to come down on Edward. "Well, Lord Alfred, it seems to me that is a good thing. It'd be most disheartening for me to discover that my love for you is unrequited."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wonder if Florence is gonna come back to bite our boys in the backside... I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. If so let me know in comments and kudos, and I'll be back on Saturday with chapter 8.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A Cold Wind Blows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edward begins his first day as the Queen's private secretary and not a moment too soon. Having been cooped up in bed since September was starting to drive him batty. He's grateful for Alfred's support but he want's to feel useful again. He settles into his new role while a few members of the staff help settle him into the rooms that will be his quarters - rooms that have an adjoining door with Alfred's. Winter starts to settle in over London and with it the cracks in the wall that hide the poverty from the ruling class as starting to wear, giving Victoria glimpses of the true depth of the poor in London.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edward stood in front of the mirror as he pulled his jacket on. Stretching his arm out still caused a twinge of pain to shoot through his chest, but it wasn't anything excruciating, certainly something he could deal with. Alfred had stepped out, to his quarters just before Drummond started dressing for the day and he hadn't returned yet. Edward could see right through Alfred, he could see that the blond was giving him time and space to get ready.</p>
<p>Drummond had been waiting for this day for months. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful for everything that Alfred and the Queen had done for him - quite the opposite, he had a new career that would give him a chance to help change England for the better, he was free to be with the man he loved; it was all very good. It was just that Edward felt useless, laying there. He <em>needed</em> to feel like he was doing something, making a difference. And finally, he'd gotten to the day where he could start again.</p>
<p>He reached up, feeling the pull in his chest, where the skin had nit back together, and tied the black tie around his neck, smoothing the fabric a bit. He wondered to himself if he'd always feel that tight pull of skin when he moved too far.</p>
<p>"Edward," Alfred's voice chimed as the man came through the door.</p>
<p>Edward turned, looking toward Alfred. He always looked a vision when he was dressed to serve the Queen, regardless of what he was wearing. Edward's eyes scanned over the shorter man, admiring the gold cables that accentuated the sleeves and collar of his blue jacket, the matching blue necktie as it wound around Paget's neck before diving below the collar of his crisp white shirt which was mostly covered by his off white waistcoat, the finely embroidered patterns of dark blues and reds that twisted and turned, all capping his tan breeches and polished dress boots. Everything about Alfred Paget made Edward melt a little and he felt certain that nothing on Earth could change that.</p>
<p>"Darling are you sure you don't require a little longer? No one would hold it against you if you did."</p>
<p>Edward sighed but offered a shallow smile. "Sir James says that I'm more than ready to get back to it."</p>
<p>"What do doctors know?" Alfred teased, but the roll of eyes from Edward told him not to joke. "Well then, are you ready? To meet the Queen?"</p>
<p>Edward smiled. "I've been ready for weeks."</p>
<p>Alfred smiled and nodded, turning to lead the way out. Edward followed close behind.</p>
<p>Court was enjoying breakfast in the Intimate Dining Room, which Edward personally thought was a misnomer - the room was the size of the entirety of Edward's house.</p>
<p>The Duchess of Bucchleuch was smacking at her lips and making sounds that were rather impolite as she picked apart the link of sausage. After a few more sounds of general pleasure, the Duchess made some flourished waving gesture and a footman appeared almost instantly. "It seems my tea has run dry," she old woman said.</p>
<p>The footman reached for the silver tea pot on the table.</p>
<p>"Not that, you ninny. It's gone cold."</p>
<p>The footman nodded and marched off, taking the tea pot with him.</p>
<p>Edward scrapped a very small sliver of butter across the small piece of toasted bread before bringing his own teacup to his mouth. He was surprised, though he wasn't sure why, at how informal breakfast was. Certainly he knew that for smaller dinners the Household and Family did not stand on formalities, he'd been to enough of those dinners with Sir Robert to know that, but it was still a surprise to experience.</p>
<p>Next to him, Alfred was scraping at an egg with his own bite of bread, wholly avoiding the section of his plate where the sliced apple resided.</p>
<p>"Alfred, no apple?" Edward asked, skewering a slice of his own with his fork.</p>
<p>Alfred glanced briefly at Edward. "No. I have eaten more than my fill of apples from the orchard at Plas Newydd."</p>
<p>Edward shrugged and blinked in confusion.</p>
<p>"The family home," Alfred answered the unasked question. He put on an air of mock pretense and self importance before continuing. "Ancestral home of the Pagets. Seat of the Marquess of Anglesey."</p>
<p>Edward laughed and nodded. Across the table, the Duchess of Bucchleuch's plate made the most ungodly noise as she scrapped a knife across the surface, scooping her beans onto a rather large slab of bread.</p>
<p>Harriet coughed into her napkin making a concealed face toward Alfred, hiding her laugh. It was good to see Harriet laugh, she'd been so melancholy since her husband, Lord Sutherland had been killed.</p>
<p>"Guten tag," came the voice of Prince Ernest as he drifted through, heading off to God knows where for God knows what reason.</p>
<p>Harriet hid her face in her napkin slightly, and Alfred couldn't help but remember the trip to France and eating in the French court. He'd never been so disgusted by a food and yet he'd done it, eaten those poor birds whole. He could remember the feeling of the bones and all crunch in his mouth and a shiver ran through his body.</p>
<p>"Lord Alfred?" Miss Coke asked, not missing the tremble.</p>
<p>He looked up with a queasy, green tint, answering rather mildly, "Ortolan."</p>
<p>No one reacted, clearly not remembering the foreign sounding word. Edward of course did. "The song birds we ate whole in France."</p>
<p>"A nation of iniquity," the Duchess grumbled.</p>
<p>Edward and Alfred smiled at each other at her reaction as Alfred placed his napkin on the table, beside his plate.</p>
<p>"If you'll all excuse, I must attend to Her Majesty."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"You see, Mr. Drummond," Albert said in clipped tones, "Victoria has not had a secretary that she's really trusted since Lord Melbourne."</p>
<p>"Oh, yes."</p>
<p>Albert continued. His meter was short and he seemed impatient; more so than normal, and Edward was used to Albert being short and rather cold; Edward had always assumed it was because he's German.</p>
<p>"This is what will be your office."</p>
<p>The room was spectacular; cavernous high ceilings papered in crimson red damask, floor to ceiling windows looking out over the Great Courtyard, thick, luxurious burgundy curtains with gold thread weaving intricate, beautiful patterns. Two fireplaces, one on either side of the room, providing heat as well as bathing the room in soft, warm light. It even had its own water closet.</p>
<p>"You will choose from the Royal Collection which desk you will use," Albert continued, moving on from the office to the next part of the job. "You will keep Victoria's official schedule, determine who outside of the Household has access to Victoria and when, review her speeches before she makes them, act as a liaison between her and the government and advise her on issues about the constitution, government, and politics." He rambled off the responsibilities quickly, not giving Edward a chance to ask questions.</p>
<p>"We will now go to the basement for you to select your desk."</p>
<p>The men descended the gorgeous staircase to the ground level and Albert continued, moving quickly ahead of Edward as the moved into a second stairwell, a small, poorly lit set that descended quickly to the basement. Albert led Edward through room upon room of furniture draped in clothe, paintings hanging on the wall - covered, bookshelves and tin chests. Finally, one room was filled with desks of various sizes and shapes. From writing desks, to partner desks - enormous carved wooden pieces and ones of formed metal.</p>
<p>"Is the desk I choose really all that important?" Edward asked.</p>
<p>The Prince scoffed. "It is what will set the rhythm of your work."</p>
<p>"Right." Edward moved about the room, taking a closer look at many of the desks. He ran through the duties Albert had told him earlier and thought about what he would need to accomplish them. He decided that it might be useful to have a large workspace, so that lead him to a partner desk, and he always remembered all the loose items on Peel's desk, and he wondered he used to wonder how Sir Robert had gotten any thing accomplished with so much distraction, which brought him to the conclusion that he wanted several drawers.</p>
<p>After what felt like hours, and many impatient sighs from the Prince, Edward settled on an imposing partner desk, carved from beautiful mahogany with three blotter pads on the surface. Three drawers on either side framed the inlet for his chair and a shallow drawer for his pens and ink pots was just above his legs.</p>
<p>"This one, Your Highness." Albert nodded and waved to a rather rough looking man who'd appeared at some point while Drummond had been judging the desks.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Before Edward had been able to sit behind his desk, it was already time for tea. He stepped out of the room, now filled with boxes of papers, journals, and books, and made his way toward the Amber Drawing Room.</p>
<p>Inside, Alfred stood next to the piano as Prince Ernest played some tune that sounded distinctly German.</p>
<p>The Queen had situated her self at a table with her ladies, they seemed to be leaning in closely and they were all talking excitedly.</p>
<p>Edward took his seat on one of the sofas, a small end table on either side, and waited for the staff to start bringing in the food and tea. The cushion sank a little and Edward turned to see Alfred sitting next to him.</p>
<p>"How is the first day as Her Majesty's Private Secretary going?" he asked with a smile.</p>
<p>Edward breathed heavily. "Oh Alfred. All I'd done is select furniture, books and personal stationary styles. I don't feel like I'm truly getting all that much done."</p>
<p>Alfred knew Edward too well, knew that the menial tasks did nothing but annoy him. "I know what you must be thinking, my darling, but remember, if you are going to be useful, you must first allow yourself to be prepared. Arrange your office in a way that will make you most useful. An enormous portion of the staff answer directly to you, and the rest do indirectly."</p>
<p>"Hmmm," was all Edward said.</p>
<p>"If it helps, the Prime Minister has requested an audience with the Queen for later today. You will need to be present for that."</p>
<p>A smile broke out across Edward's face as he thought about that, finally being of use.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred stood, as he always did, at the Queen's left side. She had been joking with Alfred - both leaning toward the other, heads bowed in a conspiratorial posture - about the need to come up with a nickname for the new Prime Minister.</p>
<p>"Lehzen once told me that Sir John reminded her of a frog, so 'frog' rather because a sort of code word for Prime Minister Peel. Actually, I rather regret some of the more unkind thing that we used to say about him."</p>
<p>Alfred laughed. "I suppose Your Majesty would rather like it to be another strange animal for Sir Russell?"</p>
<p>The door opened and both glanced up briefly, seeing that it was just Edward and not the Prime Minister. Edward bowed his head smartly and stood by the door, waiting for a signal to approach.</p>
<p>"Oh yes, Alfred. It must be something-" she turned briefly. "You needn't stand there waiting, Mister Drummond. Up you come," she directed, waving her hand toward the space to her right on the raised dais. She turned to Alfred, continued where she'd left off. "- most certainly. It must be a very unique creature."</p>
<p>Edward took the position the Queen had directed and stood by her side rather stiffly, his arms behind his back, his hands clutching a fine leather bound journal into which he'd managed to scribble the dates of a few of Her Majesty's future engagements.</p>
<p>"Mr. Drummond, it has been brought to my attention that we need to schedule an investiture very soon."</p>
<p>Edward turned, untying the leather strap around his journal. "Of course, Your Majesty. You have the first Thursday of December available if you already have a list of those to receive the honor. I should think we could have the Household ready by then."</p>
<p>"It needn't be a large, formal event, Drummond," she said. "I rather just realized that I've missed something that has a precedent that we really ought not break."</p>
<p>"Yes Ma'am-" he was about to ask for further clarification when one of the newer footmen entered the room. "Your Majesty, The Prime Minister."</p>
<p>Sir John Russell entered, his walk, a slow, lackadaisical pace before he turned and bowed his head. His private secretary remained by the door.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty."</p>
<p>"Prime Minister. I trust you have good news."</p>
<p>Russell nodded slightly. "Ma'am, the <em>Bengal Merchant</em> arrived last night from India. It was carrying with it several of our soldier who had received injuries during a raid by the locals on a camp that Your Majesty's army had set up under the East India Company. Among those returning is a Lieutenant Colonel James Walthingham, who lost his eye and arm." The Prime Minister's voice carried an air of reverence. "Walthingham managed to repel the attackers and save the lives of two of the young men under his command."</p>
<p>"Good lord," Victoria mutter. "What a dreadful business."</p>
<p>"It is, Ma'am but if we are going to establish order there, it will continue to require the commitment of our armies. That being said, these savage attacks are rare, and acts of heroism like Walthingham's are rarer still. I wonder if Your Majesty might consider granting the young man an audience?"</p>
<p>"Of course. I should like to meet him." She turned toward Edward. "Drummond, how soon might we meet Lieutenant Colonel Walthingham?"</p>
<p>Edward flipped the cover of his journal open and tried to hide from the Prime Minister that he didn't even have a single page filled. He could feel the eyes of Russell's secretary on him. "Your Majesty has time to meet with the young man on Monday, it would seem, at half past two."</p>
<p>"Monday at half past two, Prime Minister," she repeated. "Will there be anything else?"</p>
<p>"No, Ma'am."</p>
<p>"You may depart us now," she offered as Russell turned toward his secretary.</p>
<p>As soon as the Prime Minister was through the door, Edward could hear him and his private secretary talking.</p>
<p>"Shame about Drummond, isn't it sir. But he seems to have landed himself pretty well."</p>
<p>Russell's voice carried. "It's better this way; saves me from having to get rid of him. There are enough of Peel's ghosts drifting around the House as it is, I don't need his old paddy."</p>
<p>Alfred had heard them too. "Don't take it to heart, Edward."</p>
<p>Edward turned, his mind seemed elsewhere. "Oh, no, I won't. I've ended up with all I want and more."</p>
<p>Alfred smiled before a giggle escaped his lips.</p>
<p>"What is it, Lord Alfred?"</p>
<p>"A stoat, Your Majesty. That's what Russell is."</p>
<p>Edward smiled, "Seems as good as any other weasel out there."</p>
<p>All three laughed.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred had taken off his jacket and was removing his waistcoat when he heard quite a loud crash from the empty set of rooms that adjoined his. He opened the door to the other quarters only to find staff placing furniture around the small sitting room. "Gentlemen, I do enjoy a lovely fainting couch as much as the next, but what on Earth are you doing?"</p>
<p>Penge, who was standing in the door, answered his question. "Her Majesty has assigned these rooms to her new secretary, Mister Drummond." His answer had a venomous tinge to it.</p>
<p>"Is there a problem with the rooms for Mister Drummond.?"</p>
<p>"No, sir." Alfred knew where the petulance was originating. Penge had been used to running the staff like his own little fiefdom. With the appointment of the Queen's Private Secretary, Penge suddenly had someone he had to answer too. "I do find it rather odd, my lord. That you've been here for nearly ten years and Mister Drummond has been here three months and he is getting the larger rooms."</p>
<p>"Mister Penge, Mister Drummond is the Queen's Private Secretary and is entitled to the space he requires. And from what I understand, he's selling a house. He must have belongings that will need to come along."</p>
<p>Penge didn't reply.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred was sitting by the fire enjoying a bit of whiskey when he heard the light knock on the door.</p>
<p>"Well, come in," he said, almost as an expectation.</p>
<p>The door opened and Edward took a tentative step in.</p>
<p>"Why on Earth are you knocking, Edward?"</p>
<p>Edward smiled, his head down, that shy but warm smiled that seemed reserved just for Alfred. "I didn't want to interrupt anything," he said look up at Alfred from under his lashes.</p>
<p>"Come here, you silly man."</p>
<p>Edward took a step toward him as Alfred stood, placing the glass on the table in front of his chair. He took a step toward Edward, meeting him halfway. Edward wrapped his arms around Alfred's waist as Alfred wrapped his around Edward's neck. They stood there for a moment, in each other's embrace. After a moment, Alfred tugged lightly and Edward bowed his head a little, bringing their foreheads together, their noses pressed against each other, like they had so many months ago in Scotland.</p>
<p>"My rooms won't be ready before tomorrow night. I don't suppose I might spend the evening with you, Lord Alfred," Edward asked shyly, as if, even though they were inches from kissing and wrapped in each other tenderly, he was seriously concerned that Alfred would deny him.</p>
<p>Alfred leaned up, rising a bit on his toes, bringing their lips together in glorious union, the electricity that arced between them felt alive. "I could not, in good conscience," he said, his lips gliding barely separated from Edward's. "turn you out into the cold, Mister Drummond."</p>
<p>Their lips met again ever so gently. "Please, feel free to call me, Edward, my lord."</p>
<p>"You may-" Edward kissed him with more passion, interrupting him. When they kiss broke, Alfred tried again. "You may ca-" this time Alfred kissed Edward, interrupting himself. "You may call me-" Another kiss, each more passionate than the last. "Lord Alfred."</p>
<p>Both men broke into laughter, and while the moment had passed, the rightness of everything was overwhelming.</p>
<p>"A drink, Edward?"</p>
<p>Edward disentangled himself from Drummond. "That sounds wonderful, Alfred. I'll get it."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward laid on his back in Alfred's bed staring up at the ceiling. His heart was racing. He'd never shared a bed with another man before, in any capacity. What if Alfred had intentions or hopes? Was he to agree to them? Should he reject them if Alfred did press for something more intimate? Or should he make such an overture?</p>
<p>His head was swimming with questions.</p>
<p>"You know, I can hear you thinking." Alfred was on his right side, facing Edward. There was plenty of distance between them but for whatever reason, Edward still didn't know what he should be doing, if anything. "What has you so preoccupied, darling?"</p>
<p>"I don't know what I'm meant to be doing?" he said after a heavy sigh.</p>
<p>Alfred let out a single laugh through his nose. "What you're meant to be doing? Edward, you're meant to be resting."</p>
<p>"But I wasn't sure if you would perhaps want..." he trailed off.</p>
<p>Alfred smiled at him sweetly. "Yes, Edward. I do, but when you are well and when you are comfortable. But for tonight I thought we might sleep."</p>
<p>Edward rolled toward Alfred, their bodies were now just inches from each other and Edward could feel Alfred's breath. "You are something very special, Alfred Paget. And I am in love with you."</p>
<p>Alfred blushed, bright enough that in the light of the single candle on the table nearest Alfred, Edward could see his cheeks redden.</p>
<p>"I am in love with you," Alfred said as he tipped his head forward. Edward did the same and their foreheads met, and in that tender contact, they drifted to sleep.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"Your Majesty has a meeting with the Cabinet's recommendations for ambassador to Spain, and I'm sure you'll remember, Ma'am, that this is a posting of particular interest given our misadventure to France last year."</p>
<p>"Oh yes, Mister Drummond. How is one to forget the sting of that particular betrayal, and that whole miserable expedition?" Victoria's voice rang with discontent.</p>
<p>"Actually, Ma'am. I rather enjoyed the trip. I found it to be... enlightening."</p>
<p>The Queen lifted her eyebrow at Drummond before turning her head and catching Alfred wiping a smirk away.</p>
<p>Edward cleared his throat. "After your meeting, Ma'am, you have time with the Princes and Princesses, and then lunch with your ladies-in-waiting. Following lunch I have blocked out time for the investiture you asked for, but I have not received names for who to invite."</p>
<p>"I would like to walk the gardens after the investiture."</p>
<p>Alfred stepped up. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, I don't know that there is time for it."</p>
<p>"I have kept Your Majesty's schedule clear from one until three for you and then must prepare for tea with the Duchess of Inverness."</p>
<p>"Oh yes. I remem-"</p>
<p>"Victoria!" Albert burst in. Victoria looked up from her desk, her eyes glided over the Prince, noting his untucked shirt and how one suspender dangled at his side.</p>
<p>"While I'm flattered you dressed up for me, Albert. I'm in the middle of the Boxes." She gestured at the stack of papers and the empty red box.</p>
<p>"Victoria, there has been an explosion in Soho."</p>
<p>Alfred and Edward looked at each other over the Queen's head in surprise.</p>
<p>"Drummond, clear my schedule and summon the Prime Minister."</p>
<p>Edward bowed his head. "Yes, Ma'am." He turned and made his exit. His heart was racing. He'd been the Queen's Private Secretary for only days and there was already a disaster. As he walked through the hall toward his office, he grabbed the first footman he could find. "Send a page to my office, now."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward let his experience from his time with Sir Robert guide him as his pen glided over the page.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Prime Minister,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her Majesty has just heard of the tragedy that has unfolded in Soho in the small hours of the morning. You are requested for an audience with the Queen no later that half past twelve.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Thank you,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mr. Edward Drummond</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Private Secretary to Her Majesty, Queen Victoria</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He allowed a few drops of red wax onto the folded page and pressed he seal he'd been given into the wax. When he removed it, he saw for the first time, the imprint it left. Overlapping 'V' and 'R.' It was in that moment that his new role became real. He was creating documents with the seal of the Sovereign.</p>
<p>A page appeared at the door and stood quietly. It took Edward a moment to realize anyone was there, he was so lost in his thoughts. When he realized the presence of the young man, he waved him in. "To the Prime Minister at the House, right away."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Russell's explanation of the explosion had been cursory at best. And it devolved into a shouting match between Prime Minister and Monarch, but as always happens, the Crown won; which is what landed Edward and Alfred in the carriage with Victoria on the way to the sight of the explosion.</p>
<p>The Queen looked out the window at the gray muddy streets and filthy people; men, women, and children.</p>
<p>"So much destruction. What under heaven could have done all of this?"</p>
<p>Edward glanced at Alfred and swallowed. "Your Majesty... this is not the explosion. This is simply London, Ma'am."</p>
<p>Victoria's head spun toward him. "Excuse me, Mister Drummond?"</p>
<p>"This, Ma'am is how a great many citizens of London live. They work day to day for nothing more than food and home. There is nothing left for niceties."</p>
<p>Victoria looked horrified, and she seemed about to dispute what Edward had said when, as if on cue, someone tossed a pot of soiled water from a window, letting it splash.</p>
<p>Alfred covered his mouth with a handkerchief and silently thanked God that the carriage had glass windows.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Victoria stepped out of the carriage, awed by the utter destruction. Several small fires continued to burn and the London Fire Brigade was working to keep the fire from spreading. All around the site, walls were leveled and metal was twisted, and in more that one place, a limb could be seen from below the rubble; but most shocking of all was a jet of fire that seemed to shoot skyward from the center of the circle of destruction. Cinders, embers and ash fell from the sky, falling along side snow, as they twisted around each other in some obscene dance and meeting on the ground as a blanket of frozen filth and broken lives.</p>
<p>While the Queen traveled, it had become apparent at the site of the explosion that a new gas line that had been installed for heat had ruptured and ignited, leveling a block of Soho and leaving a jet of fire to reach into the heavens. Victoria, her Secretary and her Equerry walked the site, offering words of comfort for some, praying with others, and simply crying with others still.</p>
<p>On the ride back to Buckingham Palace, the Queen was silent, she said not a single word. When they settled back into her study, she finally spoke. "What life is there in that squaller?"</p>
<p>Alfred approached his Queen. "Your Majesty, it is getting better and it still will. The repeal of Corn Laws are helping."</p>
<p>"With all due respect, Lord Alfred," Edward said, shifting uncomfortably, "the truth is the repeal of the Corn Laws aren't enough. They never were going to be enough."</p>
<p>"I thought you supported repeal, Mister Drummond," the Queen said.</p>
<p>"I did, Ma'am, and I do. But that's but a foundation. If those people are to be helped, England needs sweeping social reform."</p>
<p>"You mean more taxes?" Alfred asked.</p>
<p>"What I mean is we need to encourage growth," Edward said confidently. Most people in those conditions don't want you to over tax others. They want the opportunity to make a true living. And that means honest work and honest wages."</p>
<p>"And how is one meant to create honest wages for honest work?"</p>
<p>Edward spoke with certainty. "Well, a first step might be to establish a required wage for working classes. Skilled tradesman get a wage of no lower that an agreed upon amount. A service workman gets a wage based on their agreed upon rate."</p>
<p>The Queen nodded. "I would like to think on that more, Mister Drummond. Perhaps at some point we might be able to further this conversation."</p>
<p>"At Your Majesty's leisure."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The door between Edward's and Alfred's rooms was open, as they had agreed once his furnishings had arrived. Edward was in the closet of his bedroom, Alfred was walking through the rooms from his own. "That was quite the display, today," he said a small smile on his lips.</p>
<p>"Yes. I was hoping we might talk about that."</p>
<p>Alfred said nothing as he came to stand in the doorway of the closet, watching Edward pull his night clothes on.</p>
<p>"I do hope you know that I wasn't trying to correct you, Alfred. I just needed the Queen to have the correct information."</p>
<p>Alfred stepped in and hugged Edward tightly. "Darling. I was hurt a very small bit in the moment of it, to be honest. But it did not take me long to consider that your job is to keep Her Majesty informed and advised. I'm just used to having that role. When I am wrong, I welcome your input." He smiled at Edward. "Besides, my love, I know that poverty is one of the subjects you are most passionate about."</p>
<p>"I do love you, Alfred."</p>
<p>Alfred smiled as he stepped back from Edward. "Shall we go to bed?"</p>
<p>Edward smiled broadly and followed his love through the apartments and into the bedroom that had been Alfred's - the bedroom that he was coming to think of as 'theirs' - and joined Alfred as they climbed below the sheets.</p>
<p>"Good night, Edward," Alfred mumbled as he rolled, facing away from Edward.</p>
<p>Edward rolled the same way and pulled Alfred back so that his back was against his own chest and into the hairs on the back of Alfred's head, Edward said "Good night, Alfred. I love you."</p>
<p>Alfred seemed to melt against him as he incoherently mumbled his own love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you guys liked it. As a friend of mine put it "we've gone off the rails." Be sure to comment and kudo; I live for that crap.</p>
<p>See ya in a few days.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Queen and Her Court</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Victoria finally lets Edward know what the Investiture she keeps pushing is for and she meets the soldier who the PM called a hero. The palace holds a ball meant to celebrate both Walthingham's heroism and Edward's new title, 'Sir Edward Drummond.'</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning, this chapter depicts a sexual encounter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Prime Minister moved toward the Queen very slowly, moving almost like a slug. "Now, Your Majesty. He may be rather difficult to look at, but do keep in mind that he is a hero."</p>
<p>Victoria rolled her eyes. "I've been given a full explanation of what I should expect by Lord Alfred."</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am."</p>
<p>Alfred and Edward both stood close to Victoria as the doors opened and the young man entered. Alfred had been right when he warned them. Edward wasn't sure why he'd expected that the soldier would be given a new uniform. What he wore was very similar to Alfred's red uniform, but it did not bare as many honors, gold cable or shoulder boards. But then Alfred's wasn't spotted with black burn holes and large, dark splotches of dried blood.</p>
<p>More shocking still was the man's face. A large scar ran from his left temple, across his eye and down, ending just above the left corner of his mouth. The scar was red and angry - fresh. Most unsettling of all was that the young man did not sport an eye patch and, as Russell had originally warned, was missing that eye. Edward looked away and felt near instant shame.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty," the Prime Minister announced. "May I introduce Lieutenant Colonel James Walthingham."</p>
<p>Edward could, see from the corner of his eye, the Queen take a steeling breath before she rose from the throne. "Lieutenant Colonel Walthingham," she greeted as she stepped forward. "The Prime Minister has told me of your harrowing experience and your courageous act."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Ma'am." His voice was much younger than Edward would have expected from a man who'd been to a war zone. He was rattled by the man's youth. Edward and Alfred were still in their mid-twenties but this young man seemed to be scarcely more than a child.</p>
<p>An uncomfortable silence filled the air before Victoria spoke again. "Would you be so kind as to be one of the guests of honor at a ball here at the Palace next week?"</p>
<p>"Of course, Your Majesty."</p>
<p>Alfred looked at Edward. "I didn't know we were having a ball."</p>
<p>"Neither did I," Edward replied, as he flipped open his journal.</p>
<p>"Nor I," came from the Queen.</p>
<p>Both men sniggered as Edward scribbled the ball into his notes for him to have put on the official program of the Queen, also so he could give her a day and time. He could see nothing planned for either the Friday or Saturday that could not be changed. That gave him some latitude to just say a time and have it 'official.'</p>
<p>"Saturday night, seven o'clock. Supper to be served at eight with the ball beginning immediately following, Ma'am." He breathed a sigh, somewhat proud of himself for pulling it off. "I will make sure the Lieutenant Colonel receives an invitation before the end of tomorrow."</p>
<p>"Very good, Mister Drummond. That should would perfectly with the investiture on Saturday morning."</p>
<p>Edward looked down at his journal again. "Yes, Ma'am," he said, clearly seeing that Her Majesty was scheduled to have a small reception for the wives of several members of Parliament. <em>No harm in postponing a few persnickety women.</em> He was still unclear about the investiture, though.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward sat on the couch in the sitting room of Alfred's side of the apartment reading one of the chapters from the serialized novel 'Old Saint Paul's.' He'd been enjoying it when Alfred came in from having a drink with Lady Sutherland, but he had more important things to deal with.</p>
<p>"Alfred."</p>
<p>Alfred was shucking off his jacket. "Talk to Harriet," Alfred answered, predicting where Edward was already going. "Dragoon her into planning it, I'm sure Wilhemina would be happy to help also."</p>
<p>Edward looked at Alfred and smiled. "You truly think they'll help?"</p>
<p>Alfred smiled as he poured himself a port. "I think Harriet, at least, is hoping you'll ask her help. I'm sure the Queen doesn't expect you to plan a ball for your..." he stopped himself. "For the first time so soon after you start."</p>
<p>"Are you alright?" Edward asked.</p>
<p>"Oh yes, momentarily distracted," Alfred said. "But I've found a new focus." He moved forward and kissed Edward, more passionately than he'd ever done so before. It took Edward's breath away and he felt himself seem to immolate. He wondered to himself if he wanted to move to the bed but Alfred put his hand to Edward's chest and pushed him down. Before Edward could react, Alfred was on top of him and kissing him passionately. And Edward was in paradise.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward was firmly into his second week as Private Secretary and as he sat in his office that Saturday morning, he found he'd fallen into a rhythm. Of course, he knew that most Saturday mornings would be much easier - receive the Boxes from the page, see to their deliver to the Sovereign, brief her on her short schedule for the Saturday have the rest of the day to do as he wished - but with the first investiture since taking the role, he had much to do.</p>
<p>Finally, he pulled his blue jacket off of the rack by the corner of his office and tugged it on, still feeling the uncomfortable pull where the bullet had tore into his chest. He rushed down the corridor to the Throne Room and slipped in quietly.</p>
<p>Inside the room was full of people that Edward recognized, and some that he didn't. Near the throne, Victoria was speaking with Sir Robert, which shocked him, that the former Prime Minister would be there. Alfred was talking animatedly with his own parents, the Lord and Lady Paget, while Harriet was talking in hushed tones to most of the ladies-in-waiting.</p>
<p>He took his place by the Throne, ready to help the Queen with any information she may need - not that he would have it. As he scanned the room, a wave of nausea washed over his as he realized that, apart from the staff, he was the only person in the room who did not have a hereditary barony or other noble status.</p>
<p>"We'll, " he heard the Queen say to Sir Robert. "We should begin."</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am." Sir Robert said as he walked with her out of the room.</p>
<p>Alfred moved to take his spot, opposite Edward as the crowd moved to the chairs that had been set up.</p>
<p>A moment later, Peel returned and moved to the front of the room, taking a seat in the row nearest the Throne. Across the aisle, on the right, sat the Lord and Lady Paget, Lady Charlotte sat with a warm but knowing smile and Edward suddenly realized.</p>
<p>The side door opened and a small band of strings from the Household Cavalry band stepped in.</p>
<p>Penge entered from the back of the room. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN; THE QUEEN."</p>
<p>The doors opened wide and Edward could see the Queen, flanked on either side by guards. The assembled guests all rose as the band began.</p>
<p>Together, as one, the room filled with the voices of all gathered as Victoria processed down the aisle.</p>
<p>
  <em>"God save our gracious Queen</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Long live our noble Queen</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>God save the Queen</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Send her victorious</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Happy and glorious</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Long to reign over us</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>God save the Queen".</em>
</p>
<p>When she arrived at the throne, the music stopped and everyone took their seat, apart from the Queen, Edward, and Alfred.</p>
<p>"It has been tradition, since the time of my grandfather, that the Sovereign has the right to appoint to members of it's staff, baronetcies and other honors. As such it has been the custom, that every Private Secretary to the Sovereign be awarded a peerage.</p>
<p>"Mister Drummond," she said with authority. "Kneel."</p>
<p>Edward came around the Throne in shock. The Queen had given no clue and Alfred had been mum since the discussion of an Investiture started. He knelt before Victoria as Alfred stepped forward, pulling the sword at his side from its scabbard. He was wearing his red, Equerry uniform, trimmed with gold cables and gold shoulder boards. He was a vision - to Edward. Alfred handed the sword to the Queen, and she held it out level with her shoulders before bringing it down to rest on Edward's shoulder however briefly before she moved it to the other.</p>
<p>"I dub thee, Sir Edward Drummond, Baronet of Conwy." She turned quickly to Alfred. "Did I say that right?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am."</p>
<p>She turned back to Edward. "Rise, Sir Edward."</p>
<p>It took Edward a moment before he realize what was going on around him. <em>Sir Edward Drummond, Baronet of Conwy.</em> After a long pause, he rose, and shook hands with the Queen. "Congratulations, Sir Edward," she said with a smile.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Your Majesty."</p>
<p>The whole affair exploded into shaking of hands and congratulations. At some point staff had come in and inconspicuously removed the chairs and now were walking around with glasses of champagne and light hors d'oeuvres.</p>
<p>Lord Henry Paget approached him and pulled him to the corner of the room, congratulating him heartily along the way. "You should know, Drummond, that I was staunchly opposed to your work."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, sir?" Edward's heart was racing and he worried that maybe, Lord Paget wasn't nearly as accepting of his son and Edward as he'd let on at Edward's sick bed. "I'm rather grateful for this posting though, and to have Alfred by my side. I'm sorry if that is offensive to you, my Lord."</p>
<p>"What? No, Drummond," Lord Henry said. "I couldn't care less about you and Alfred, if you two are safe and happy; which you most certainly seem. I mean your work with Peel, in the House."</p>
<p>Edward's mind started going; what might Lord Paget have against his work as Sir Robert's secretary.</p>
<p>
  <em>"My father and his friends think that repeal will be the end of civilization as we know it."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"With respect," Edward said, "the days when men like your father will rule this county are coming to an end."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Well, poor Papa."</em>
</p>
<p>He'd forgotten most of that night. It had been a very bad night and what he'd remembered most of all had been the word 'indiscretion.' Of course, now he knew that that wasn't what Alfred thought, but it still tugged a little, a twinge of pain that Alfred had even that thought for even the briefest moment. He'd been silent too long.</p>
<p>"Oh, yes, my Lord. I'd rather forgotten that you opposed repeal of the Corn Laws, rather vehemently, as I recall."</p>
<p>Paget straightened his back. "When Alfred told us about you, sir, I was most concerned that you might use his heart against him, against his family." The marquess spoke bluntly. "I thought you might weaponize his feelings against us, or that perhaps you, as a part of Government, might try to manipulate us or the Queen through Alfred."</p>
<p>Edward stood silently, listening to Lord Paget's fears and, what could seem, accusations.</p>
<p>"But as I've heard ever more about you from Alfred and after having met you a month or so ago, I see that above anything else, you, Mister Drummond, are an idealist." Lord Henry nodded sagely. "Ideals are a good thing, maybe the best, but what I'm afraid you'll learn is that ideals, my boy, must be tempered with realism. Ideals are something we strive toward but are rarely attained."</p>
<p>"Lord Henry, I'm not sure I quite understand your point."</p>
<p>Paget laughed. "Look, son. The Corn Laws were a compromise, maybe a bridge too far but they protected Englishmen, and their nobility, of which I might remind you, you are now a part of. They weren't meant to harm the working class, they were meant to ensure that the agriculture of this country was protected."</p>
<p>"And by extension, my Lord, the wealthiest of landowner, with respect, yourself included." Edward worried he may have pushed too far, but as Paget smiled, he found that the Marquess understood.</p>
<p>"Yes, it protected the wealth of landowners, but it also protected the income of the farmers."</p>
<p>"While keeping bread unattainable for the poor in the cities," Edward replied.</p>
<p>Paget nodded. "I won't argue that relief was needed, but there needs to be something also to support the British farmers."</p>
<p>"Some sort of parity?"</p>
<p>Lord Henry smiled. "That's one way to do it." He clapped his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Remember, son, hold onto your ideals, but when something good comes along, don't through out the baby with the bathwater. Don't turn down meaningful reform because it doesn't go as far as you want it to."</p>
<p>He hummed in contemplation. "Wise words, Lord Henry."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"Your father is truly an extraordinary man," Edward said as he dressed for dinner. Alfred remained in his uniform.</p>
<p>"Oh?"</p>
<p>Edward looked at Alfred's reflection in the mirror as he tied his cravat. "Well, he pulled me aside today and we spoke about the repeal."</p>
<p>A moment of anxiety flashed across Alfred's face, but he quickly masked it with a smile. "I tried to explain to Papa, that repeal would not end this country, that I had your assurances of that," he joked.</p>
<p>"Yes well, he has some very interesting ideas."</p>
<p>The smile ran from Alfred's face and he narrowed his eyes. "I'm sure he does."</p>
<p>Edward turned to look at the man he loved directly. "Alfred, they weren't bad ideas. Mostly it was advice on outlook rather than politics."</p>
<p>"Just don't allow my father to try to push an agenda on you to relay to the Queen."</p>
<p>"I know my role, Alfred. I explain and advise. I do not try to encourage her to interfere. The relationship between Government and Sovereign is sacred."</p>
<p>Alfred stepped forward and leaned up to kiss him. "Well then, we mustn't endanger the sacred bond of Queen and country."</p>
<p>They stood there, just being close, for a moment, until there was a knock at the door in 'Edward's quarters.'</p>
<p>"I imagine that would be your dance partner, for the evening," Alfred said, just a drop of jealousy in his voice.</p>
<p>"Yes, I would think so." Edward moved through the rooms and into 'his side.'</p>
<p>Opening the door, Lady Harriet stood, a beautiful, black ball gown.</p>
<p>"Lady Harriet, I rather expected that I might come to you," he said with a smile.</p>
<p>"Pishposh," the Lady Sutherland said. "My life as the mild woman has ended with the death of my husband," she glanced up and down the small corridor.</p>
<p>Alfred came around the corner into 'Edward's sitting room.' "I'm surprise, Harriet. I would have thought you'd be dancing tonight with Prince Ernest.</p>
<p>"Prince Ernest is back to Coburg for the time," she smiled. "And I was asked by her majesty to accompany Sir Edward tonight. Lady Portman will be waiting for you in the State Dining Room, Alfred." She turned back to Edward. "Shall we get moving?"</p>
<p>Edward turned slightly, so his focus was between the two. "Forgive me, Lady Sutherland but," he turned to Alfred. "I maybe dancing with Lady Harriet tonight, but my attention and heart will be with you."</p>
<p>Harriet watched with a small smile but the tiniest hint of sadness marred her otherwise happy expression.</p>
<p>"And mine with you," Alfred replied.</p>
<p>The two men smiled at each other before Edward turned to the Lady Sutherland. "Shall I escort you to dinner, Ma'am?" He stepped through the door, closing it behind him and held out his arm for her.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Emma and Alfred had their heads together in quiet conversation at the dinner table.</p>
<p>"It truly is for the best Alfred. There are far too many people here," Lady Portman said. "Remember, you aren't the only one at risk."</p>
<p>Alfred's eyes landed on Edward and he must have felt the attention, because Edward looked up from down and across the table and smiled at him - the shy 'for Alfred' smile. "I know. It doesn't change that I wish I could announce my feelings for him. The world should know how deeply I love him." His eyes were still on Edward, who'd now turned his vision back to Lady Harriet, though it seemed his attention was only half with her. Beneath the table, Alfred felt a foot collide with his leg and he looked up to see his mother communication with him that he was being too obvious. Alfred blinked and nodded slightly.</p>
<p>At the head of the table, the whole exchange had not gone unnoticed; neither by the Queen, or Prince Albert, who was scowling rather intensely into his dessert. Victoria on the other hand, wore an expression of intense though; her brow was furrowed and her lips pursed, as though she were puzzling out some very difficult maths equation.</p>
<p>Alfred glanced up toward Victoria and Albert his eyes finding the young soldier who was one of the guests of honor for the ball. He was in a fine black tailcoat with a silver waistcoat below. He wore an eye patch this time and he look no part a soldier, rather barely a man.</p>
<p>Several waiters moved around the table filling the champagne glasses. Once everyone's were filled, Alfred stood, and Emma tinged her glass, drawing the tables attention.</p>
<p>"If it pleases Your Majesty," Alfred began, "I would like to offer a toast to our guests of honor. Two men of great bravery and each a hero by their own right. Lieutenant Colonel Walthingham and Sir Edward Drummond."</p>
<p>The guests all raised their glasses in toast.</p>
<p>Alfred continued, "And, of course, to you, Your Majesty." Everyone at the table stood accept for Victoria.</p>
<p>Together they all spoke. "God save the Queen," and took a drink.</p>
<p>The doors dividing the Dining Room from the main Ballroom opened abruptly, revealing a beautifully decorated and lit room, a string octet played was situated in the corner and waiters were already standing with trays of champagne, ready for the guests to move into the ballroom.</p>
<p>Victoria nodded and her plate was removed. Wait staff stepped forward and began collecting plates from the guests.</p>
<p>Walthingham looked very confused as his plate still had quite a bit of pudding left on it. "I wasn't done eating that," he said the waiter.</p>
<p>Albert leaned forward across the table. "But Queen Victoria is."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward waltzed and slowly spun with Harriet as the night went on. His dance card was becoming increasingly more full with each song, another of the ladies-in-waiting had requested a dance. He could see Alfred standing off to the side with Lady Portman, watching him intently.</p>
<p>"Lady Sutherland, I wonder if I might monopolize Sir Edward for a moment."</p>
<p>Harriet curtsied to the Queen as she stepped away. Victoria took her place and Edward suddenly found suddenly found himself dancing with the monarch.</p>
<p>"I hope you are enjoying yourself, Sir Edward."</p>
<p>They pair took a step and made a quarter turn. "Yes, Ma'am. It's splendid. It actually reminds me a bit of my first ball at the palace. The fancy dress ball."</p>
<p>"Oh yes. That was quite fun, despite having come out looking like a fool."</p>
<p>"Not at all, Ma'am."</p>
<p>Victoria looked into his eyes, as though she were searching for something. "You and Lord Alfred are happy?" she asked in a hushed tone.</p>
<p>Edward glance ever so quickly at Alfred. "Quite so, Ma'am."</p>
<p>"Good. I wonder if I might impose on you to sit with me next week, that we might discuss the situation in Soho."</p>
<p>"Of course, Your Majesty."</p>
<p>The song came to an end and Edward bowed his head to Victoria as she stepped away. Edward made his way through the crowd, headed in Alfred and Emma's direction, he found himself tired and a little sore.</p>
<p>It must have showed on his face, and Alfred stepped forward. "Are you well, Sir Edward?"</p>
<p>"Yes, I just need to take the air, I think."</p>
<p>Alfred smiled. "If you'll excuse me, Lady Portman. I shall accompany Sir Edward to the balcony."</p>
<p>The cold air of the December night bit at Edward's skin, and he looked up suddenly mesmerized by the blanket of stars. "How many do you suppose are up there, Alfred?"</p>
<p>Alfred glanced up before bringing his attention back to Edward. "I couldn't begin to guess."</p>
<p>They stood there in relative silence for a moment. "Alfred?"</p>
<p>"Hmm?"</p>
<p>Edward brought his gaze down to Alfred's eyes. "Where the devil is Conwy?"</p>
<p>Alfred laughed. "Wales, not terribly far from Plas Newydd." He watched as Edward straightened his back a little. "Are you feeling better?"</p>
<p>"I am," Edward said. "But I do think I am done dancing for the night. Do you suppose I could persuade you the say your good evenings?"</p>
<p>Alfred looked into those chocolate eyes, drowning for just a moment. "Consider me persuaded."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Both had made their way around the ballroom, saying their good nights and farewells before they had returned to their apartments. The door had barely closed behind them before Edward pushed Alfred back against it, claiming his lips with his own. He kissed Alfred with a passion neither had ever experienced and if it had been with anyone else, Alfred might have been frightened. But as it was, he found himself enjoying it. A moan escaped his lips and before he realized it, Edward had untied his cravat and was working at tugging his collar away.</p>
<p>Edward broke the kiss and pulled back, seeming to need to take a breath, but before Alfred could register what was happening, Edward was lightly dropping kisses down his neck. Alfred's entire body felt like he was on fire. He'd never felt anything like it. And it hadn't been for lack of trying; it was simply that none of the few dalliances he'd had while at Oxford and in the service, had ever resulting in a feeling nearly as intense. Not that he felt the need to share that information. As he lost himself in the intense pleasure, he discovered that he was making noises he'd never heard come from his mouth before. He clapped his mouth shut, embarrassed.</p>
<p>Edward stopped. "What's wrong?"</p>
<p>Alfred blinked, pulling himself out of the haze of paradise. "Nothing at all."</p>
<p>Edward's brow furrowed. "You suddenly grew silent."</p>
<p>"I found myself making obscene noises and was rather embarrassed.</p>
<p>Edward blinked once, his brown eyes locking with blue as he looked down, over long eyelashes. "You were making beautiful noises. Nothing about you is obscene, Alfred."</p>
<p>"Good God, I love you."</p>
<p>Edward smiled. "Would you mind terribly if we continued in the bedroom?"</p>
<p>Albert looked at Edward in shock. "You mean..."</p>
<p>"I do."</p>
<p>As though a starter's pistol had fired, both men suddenly bolted from the door and rushed into the bedroom, both fighting to remove as much clothing as possible before arriving at the bed. Alfred fell onto the bed, one leg still in his trousers as he tried to shake them off. Edward had gotten down to just his pants as he seemed to leap into the bed.</p>
<p>"I wouldn't have taken you to be the slow one, Alfred."</p>
<p>Alfred made a rather indignant face as he tried right himself and tug free his leg from the trouser. "You were not bound in uniform, Sir Edward," he said with mock irritation as he finally freed himself. He scrabbled onto the bed and was quickly on Edward. They were kissing passionately, and Alfred took and exploratory kiss on Edward's chest.</p>
<p>Edward sighed heavily, reveling in the feeling of Alfred's warm breath and lips on his skin. Suddenly, Alfred paused, hovering over Edward deathly still.</p>
<p>Edward lifted his head looking down at Alfred. "What, my love?" It was only then did he see that Alfred was staring at the small area of raised, pink skin, where the fateful bullet had torn into him. "Alfred?"</p>
<p>"I could have lost you."</p>
<p>"Alfred," he said more confidently.</p>
<p>"No, Edward. You were in the veil. You could have gone either way and I'd be here right now still mourning."</p>
<p>Edward looked into Alfred's eyes that were brimming with unshed tears. "But Alfred. I didn't. I am here and you are here. And I love you, and my love will never change..." He seemed uncertain. "And I want to make love to you."</p>
<p>Alfred blinked away the tears, and smiled. "Please do," he said with a chuckle. He rolled to the side and shed his pants, leaving himself completely exposed.</p>
<p>Edward did the same but as he rolled back onto the bed, he looked over at Alfred and stopped moving. His eyes roamed over Alfred's body, seeing him bare for the first time. "You are beautiful," he said.</p>
<p>Alfred climbed back on top of him and they began kissing again, an urgency and desperation between them likes of which neither had ever known. Fire danced along their skin as they felt the proof of the other's desire. They continued to kiss for several more moments before Alfred pulled back and Edward closed his eyes, for just a moment.</p>
<p>With his eyes closed he missed seeing Alfred spit into his hand and but he felt it when Alfred took him into his hand, slicking Edward. Edward's heart started pounding hard in his chest; hard enough that he was certain Alfred could hear it, and if he'd had any doubts about the integrity of his heart, he knew now that he could handle anything. He felt a tightness envelope him as Alfred lowered himself onto Edward. They sat there still as could be for a moment. Edward looking up as Alfred bit his lip, his brow furrowed in, what Edward worried was pain.</p>
<p>"Are you alright?"</p>
<p>Alfred nodded. "Don't move," he directed and Edward fought every instinct he had to buck upward. Alfred took a few deep breaths before rocking forward. As he moved back again, his eyes shot open and a noise that Edward was sure what the most delicious thing he'd ever heard escaped Alfred's lips.</p>
<p>"What was that?"</p>
<p>"I don't know. But it needs happen again."</p>
<p>There was a laugh, neither could say from which, maybe both, and Alfred rocked forward again.</p>
<p>Each slide drew Edward closer to waves release. He too started making noises, and he understood, Alfred's earlier embarrassment but in that beautiful moment, he could not bring himself to care.</p>
<p>Alfred's rhythm increase and Edward could feel the heat building within him. "Alfred," he said, breathlessly.</p>
<p>"Yes?" Alfred did not slow.</p>
<p>"Alfred." Edward put a little more emphasis.</p>
<p>Alfred only moaned.</p>
<p>"Alfred, I..."</p>
<p>"Don't hold back," Alfred said. "Please."</p>
<p>Edward could feel the crescendo as he released himself, and was amazed to watch as Alfred did the same, in perfect unison.</p>
<p>The moment seemed frozen in amber, a perfect instance.</p>
<p>Alfred rolled, pulling himself off of Edward and lethargically reaching for the shirt he'd earlier discarded. Edward found he could barely move as Alfred wiped Edward's chest clean. He tossed the shirt aside and laid down next to Edward. "You were amazing," he said, watching Edward through hooded eyes. "I love you, so so much."</p>
<p>Edward rolled, taking Alfred in his arms and pulled him close, his chest pressed tightly against Alfred's back. "I love you," he said. "You are my world."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well folks. I hope you enjoy it. I loved writing this chapter simply because it sets a bit up for later.</p>
<p>Let me know if you guys enjoyed it. Comments and Kudos keep the creativity flowing.<br/>See ya in a few days.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Comfort and Joy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With Christmas fast approaching Alfred panics about what he will get Edward for their first Christmas together. Albert wants to turn the Palace into a magical wonderland, but tensions are building as he becomes frustrated by Victoria's seeming encouragement of Drummond and Alfred's relationship, until Victoria is able to give him a lesson in what love looks like.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alfred could not deny that the night of the ball honoring Edward and the young soldier had been one of the best of his life, but they both found that quiet nights in the sitting room by the fire, sometimes in utter silence while the other read, was often just as nice as the nights where they could scarcely keep their hands off of each other</p><p>It had become a habit that many nights, after each had returned from their duties, Alfred's usually running much later, they would sit together on the couch, enjoying a drink while Edward read aloud from what ever book he was reading at the time. Alfred had to admit that novels had never been his preferred means of entertainment, instead preferring the prose of poetry to the narrative structure, but found that the way in which Edward read out loud, some how allowed him to connect with the story. What was a distraction however; was the constant reminder that Christmas was less than a week away, and he couldn't begin to figure out what he was going to give Edward. He'd come up with several ideas, but they all seemed like something he might give to a lady he was courting, or something he might place on his desk; nothing seemed an appropriate gift for the man he wanted spend his life with.</p><p>Outside their comfortable chambers, the palace was being decorated for Christmas. To say that Prince Albert had become obsessed with the idea of a large family Christmas was an understatement. He'd been having the staff suspend trees from the ceiling, decorated with glass ornaments, candles and ribbons. Not that he actually had let anyone into the ballroom to see it. Alfred only knew from hearing the complaints of the staff as the tried to figure out how they were going to secure the trees.</p><p>"Well?" Edward said expectantly as he looked down at Alfred, his head in Edward's lap.</p><p>"Um... it wasn't bad," he lied. He had no idea whether the ending of the book had been any good, he'd been too lost trying to come up with a gift.</p><p>"You think so?" Edward looked at him surprised. "Even I couldn't stand it; I was sure you were gonna hate it. <span class="u">The Infernal Marriage</span>, indeed; more like an infernal manuscript." Edward laughed.</p><p>"I must be honest," Alfred started. "I don't know how it ended. I'd gotten distracted and stopped paying attention."</p><p>Edward looked at him and laughed. "It's alright, love. If I hadn't been reading out loud, I doubt it would have kept my attention." His dark, brown eyes warmed Alfred through to the bone. "Why don't you select what we read next?"</p><p>"I'm not certain that'd you'd enjoy it." His mind already coming up with ideas.</p><p>Edward put his hand to Alfred's cheek. "You can read whatever you want."</p><p>Alfred leaded his head into the warmth of Edward's touch. "I have been wanting to read Elizabeth Browning's newest work, <span class="u">The Drama of Exile, and Other Poems</span>." He could practically hear the sigh Edward was fighting to hold in.</p><p>"Then Emily Browning it is," he said, his voice so loving. "But for now, I think Mister Disraeli has me at the threshold of sleep."</p><p>As if on cue, Alfred yawned widely.</p><p>"See, you are too."</p><p>Without another word, they both got up and moved into the bedroom to change into their sleeping clothes and crawl between the sheets. Alfred put his head on Edward's shoulder, avoiding the mark where he'd been shot. "Do you suppose that most of our life will be as pleasant as this?" Edward asked.</p><p>Alfred sighed deeply. "I'm afraid I doubt it. There will be struggles," Alfred said. "There are things that we have to fear and things we will have to mourn, but as long as we have each other, we'll make it through."</p><p>"Well, that's good enough for me."</p><p>***</p><p>Three days; that's how long Alfred had to figure out what he giving the man he loved - Edward - who had probably had his gift planned since October. He was half listening to Edward and the Queen as they went through the Box. He'd heard something about a benefit for the families of the Soho explosion.</p><p>"Do you think eight hundred pounds might be enough to make a difference, Lord Alfred?"</p><p>"Eight hundred, Ma'am? I think that would be very useful in beginning to rebuild." How he'd managed to jump back into the meeting, Alfred had no idea, but he'd done it and he was very pleased with that.</p><p>Victoria looked around the study, making sure it was only the three of them. "You know, I heard Albert and Ernest screaming at each other this morning."</p><p>The news wasn't particularly surprising to either man, Prince Albert's moods were so mercurial; and more often then not, he'd been quick to anger and prone to bouts of melancholia.</p><p>"I was rather hoping you might be able to find out what the argument was about."</p><p>Alfred nodded, he knew his role well. "Yes of course, Your Majesty."</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred got his chance when the Prince approached him in the Amber Drawing Room.</p><p>"Lord Alfred, I am going for a ride."</p><p>"Of course, Your Royal Highness. Shall I meet you at the stables in twenty minutes, that I might put on my riding clothes?"</p><p>Albert nodded. "Yes. Twenty minutes."</p><p>***</p><p>The Prince was already on his horse when Alfred arrived. "My apologies, Your Royal Highness, I was briefly detained."</p><p>Albert muttered something under his breath in german as Alfred climbed up onto his own horse. Together they took off into Hyde Park. Once they were a considerable distance from the Palace, Albert slowed. Alfred fell in line just behind and to the right of the Prince.</p><p>"I am wondering, Lord Alfred. Do you know what Victoria's plan might be regarding the poor Londoners who have lost everything in Soho."</p><p>Alfred shifted. "I believe Her Majesty intends to make a donation in hopes of providing the financial assistance to the affected, Sir."</p><p>The Prince started speaking german, which Alfred decidedly did not understand. "When is Victoria going to understand that there is more to a solution than money. We are the ruling class, we need to take action."</p><p>"I believe, Her Majesty's intention was to supplement the losses of business and help pay damages. Several families lost their breadwinner, Sir."</p><p>Albert looked at Alfred in surprise before speaking. "That is all good, but what about when this happens again?!"</p><p>Alfred rode up to be alongside the Prince. "I'm afraid, Your Highness, that she doesn't have that latitude, Sir. She can only advise and consent to Government, not govern."</p><p>"If Sir Robert were still Prime Minister, this would not be a conversation, Lord Alfred. He would understand that we must step in."</p><p>"Actually, Sir. I believe you would find a very similar answer from Sir Robert. He did once say to you that members of Parliament believe their independence from the Crown to be most important. And if you were to ask Sir Edward, who worked very closely with Sir Robert, I think you might find that members of Government believe the constitutional monarchy to be something that mustn't be overstepped."</p><p>"Of course, Mister Drummond would be involved in this."</p><p>"Might I ask, Your Royal Highness if there is a problem with Drummond?"</p><p>Albert cursed under his breath finally bringing his horse to a stop in the snow. He paused, clearly deciding how much he actually wanted to say "Victoria has always listened to my advice. I have helped to explain things to her. But now someone else is advising her. Someone from Government, which as you say, does not want us to interfere, but has no problem interfering with us."</p><p>Alfred took offense on Edward's behalf. "Sir, if I may. Drummond is not a puppet of the Government. He is here to serve the Crown."</p><p>Albert started riding again, heading back toward the Palace. "I am sorry, Lord Alfred."</p><p>Alfred was losing his chance to ask the Queen's question. He had to act now. "Your Highness, this morning, as I was taking the air, I thought I heard you and Prince Ernest having a row. Is everything alright, Sir? Is there something I might do to relieve some tension?"</p><p>"No, Lord Alfred. Ernest was educating me as to how wrong my memories are. Trying to destroy the happy parts of my childhood. I think he was mocking what I am trying to create here."</p><p>They arrived back at the stables and Albert slid from the horse, Alfred quickly following suit. The Prince pulled off his riding glove and an odd clinking sound shattered the quiet atmosphere of the falling snow.</p><p>"Verdammt."</p><p>"Sir," Alfred asked as the Prince bent to start searching the snow.</p><p>"My ring, Lord Alfred. Help me find it, will you?"</p><p>Alfred bent down, the gravel digging in to the knees of his riding breeches. The snow was still falling and both men worried that the ring would soon be buried in the snow.</p><p>A glint caught Alfred's eye. He reached for it, wrapping his fingers around the Prince's wedding band. He was momentarily hypnotized by the small ring of gold. He shook himself out of it, handing it to the Prince.</p><p>"Thank you, Lord Alfred." He didn't say another word as he walked across the small field, returning to the Palace.</p><p>Alfred trailed behind him.</p><p>***</p><p>Edward sat scribbling notes, smiling to himself, proud of the gift he'd managed to get for Alfred. The fireplace behind him was crackling warmly and he finally was feeling like he was at home in his office. He'd fallen into a routine of reading the Queen's briefings, preparing notes for himself in his journal and doing the Boxes with her before returning to his office to deal with the Household paperwork. Before lunch he'd have a few moments with the Queen again to keep her up to speed on any changes throughout the day - incoming correspondence from Parliament. He had to laugh to himself. Four months ago, had there been a Private Secretary to the Sovereign, Edward would have never interacted with the Queen as he did then. And probably wouldn't have gotten to know Alfred. And now he was about to spend his first Christmas at the Palace and with the man he loved.</p><p>There was a knock on his door and Brodie appeared. "A letter for you, Sir Edward."</p><p>"Thank you, Brodie." The young man put the letter on Edward's desk and stepped out.</p><p>Edward reached for it, sliding his journal aside and laying the pen on its small cradle next to the ink pot. He ran his finger under the wax seal and broke it, unfolding the letter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Edward,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We hope you are settling in to your new role at the Palace. I am very proud of you. I hope you are able to consider coming home for Christmas. There is so much that we need to discuss. I cannot imagine what has changed in you to dismiss Florence as you have. I hope you understand what this does to your reputation. Please write back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Affectionately,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your Mother</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Edward could just imagine his father leaning over his mother, dictating what to say. Of course he loved his mother, and his father, but there was no way for him to truly explain it to them. They'd only be hurt, angry, maybe worse. For a moment, he considered what he should write back. But that wasn't the time there were meetings with the Prime Minister that he was still getting ready for and an inch of paperwork from the Household that he hadn't even touched yet.</p><p>He threw the note into the fire behind him and he told himself he'd at least write to explain that his duties wouldn't allow him to come home, knowing he never would actually write the letter. As the paper was consumed in the flame, his father's distinctive green wax melting, he turned back to the stacks of work still on his desk, the smile returning to his face as he thought again about the gift that sat so delicately in its box in the top drawer of Edward's desk.</p><p>***</p><p>By his meeting with the Queen before lunch, Victoria was fuming. Her uncle, the King of Hanover, Duke of Cumberland had started stalking back into her life. It was no secret that he felt he was entitled to the English Throne but as there was no question about his right to succession, especially now that Victoria had produced an heir, he was now devoting an unnatural amount of energy to simply being an irritant.</p><p>He'd gone so far as to threaten to sue Victoria over a diamond necklace that he claimed was his, by right.</p><p>And Leopold had returned which had given Albert no cause for joy.</p><p>And, now as he stood there with the Queen, he realized that Albert was not there.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Sir Edward. This is beyond your duties. Let's go over what you have prepared about addressing the disparities."</p><p>"Well Your Majesty, I have gone over some of the Prime Minister's agenda. And I don't think there is much that can be done this session. What Your Majesty might do however is create a charity, of which you would be patron, that would address the problem, serving as a social welfare, at least until Government is able to act themselves. The Victoria Trust, perhaps?"</p><p>"I rather like that, Drummond."</p><p>***</p><p>The whole of Court was standing in the hallway with the Princes and Princess. The Queen and Prince were just inside the doors, in the ballroom either talking or putting the last minute touches on Albert's grand Christmas.</p><p>Prince Bertie kept trying to peek in, but Lady Portman kept the boy close.</p><p>Finally, from inside the ballroom, a bell sounded. Bertie threw the doors open and rushed in, the rest of Court not far behind him.</p><p>As outlandish as Albert's ideas had sounded in passing, Alfred had to admit that the room was spectacular. Seven beautiful Christmas trees had been hung from the ceiling, upside down. The six of similar size where each above a table and on those tables were mountains of parcels, concealed behind glorious wrap. Over the center of the room, hung the largest and most splendid of the trees. It was covered in hundreds of small candles and crystal bobbles. Fine, red bunting adorned the portrait frames and the mantles of the fireplaces. Everything was decorated in gold or red. The whole room seemed to transport one to another place.</p><p>The morning was incredible, just as it seemed Prince Albert had imagined it, even with King Leopold around. It was a beautiful day with family and friends, those closest to the Queen.</p><p>As evening fell the monarch suggested that it might be time to exchange gifts. Naturally, as Sovereign, she distributed her gifts to everyone first. There wasn't much variation in what Victoria gave the courtiers as gifts, at first glance. Each of the women were given a beautiful necklace, a pendant that laid just below the neck with a diamond teardrop at the bottom. But what was not immediately visible was that the back of each pendant had an inscription, something personal between that Courtier and the Sovereign. The gentlemen of Court were each given a lapel pin, gold with the seal of their family. On the back, also was an inscription. Alfred's read, in the tiniest of letters, 'To my dearest friend and support in court. VR'</p><p>As Edward opened his, he was surprised that the Queen seemed to have altered his family's heraldry just slightly. The shield held by the lion in the crest was no longer blank. And as small as the shield was in relief, when he looked closely enough at it he could see that the shield actually bore the heraldry of the Paget family. He was touched and his eyes welled with tears as he turned it over, seeing the inscription on the back. 'You will and do change the world. VR'</p><p>After that, the Court separated into smaller groups as they all exchanged gifts among themselves and laugh and drink. Alfred had been standing near the closed doors to the Dining Room with Edward and talking to Harriet, who's eyes kept moving to find Prince Ernest. From the other side of the doors Alfred could hear the Queen having a disagreement with Albert again.</p><p>"I do not understand why you have to encourage it, Victoria. To put Lord Alfred's heraldry on Drummond's crest."</p><p>"Albert, do you still love me?" the Queen asked.</p><p>There was a sharp intake of breath. "Of course, I do."</p><p>"Can you imagine any circumstance where love could ever be wrong or an abomination as you've said?"</p><p>"Of course not, Victoria. But this isn't love you are talking about. I don't know-"</p><p>Victoria cut him off before he could continue. "Don't you say that Albert. If you'd have been at the hospital after Edward was shot, if you'd have seen Alfred. He was as sick with worry as I would be if that had happened to you. As terrified of losing Edward as you are of losing me whenever a madman fires a gun at me."</p><p>"It's not the same, Victoria."</p><p>She sighed. "You're right, Albert it isn't the same but the love between two people is never the same as the next. I'm not saying that I understand it Albert. I can't. And neither can you. But you cannot deny that what those two men have for each other is love, perhaps more pure love than even our own. And if love cannot be wrong, as you say, then how can you judge them for having found love in each other."</p><p>There was a pause, where Albert said nothing and then, after a long moment. "I understand, Victoria."</p><p>Alfred and Edward shared a look between them, a look with small smiles, though the subterfuge was not nearly as necessary as it would be most days. Christmas had become a much more curated gathering, only those who were closest to the Queen and of the most trustworthy were sharing the day, and apart for King Leopold, everyone at this gather of Court was aware of Alfred and Edward's bond.</p><p>Victoria and Albert approached and Harriet curtsied and took the opportunity to join Prince Ernest. "Alfred, Edward," the Queen greeted. Neither missed how she addressed them in the informal.</p><p>"Sir Edward, Lord Alfred," Parroted the Prince. He was still stiff and looked uncomfortable, but he was open, and had a smile on his face that looked more genuine than they'd seen since Scotland.</p><p>"I had hoped that I might not have missed your exchange of gifts," Victoria said with a knowing smile.</p><p>Alfred was beaming. "You go first, Edward."</p><p>Drummond fished into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box about the size of his palm. He handed it to Alfred, and suddenly felt a wave of anxiety. He'd been so proud of the gift but now as it sat in Alfred's hand, waiting to be opened, he felt a wave of panic, fear that Alfred might not like it or might think it was just a bauble.</p><p>Completely unaware of the storm of emotions in Edward, Alfred pulled back the top. Inside was a silver locket. Alfred flipped it open. On the right side was an ink drawing of two men - them - embracing by a lakeside. Opposite the drawing was a needle point of fine red silk that formed the words "A Love Surpassing Women."</p><p>Alfred looked up at Edward, a watery smile. "How?"</p><p>"I had the help of Lady Harriet, who did the needlepoint. I had spoken to Miss Coke who told me of a conversation you had had... about the Bible." Alfred smiled wider and a single tear rolled down his face. Edward continued. "She also mentioned that she had seen us in Scotland. I asked if she felt she could recreate it from memory. I think she did a rather good job don't you think?'</p><p>Alfred was wiping at his eyes furiously and even the Queen looked moved.</p><p>"Well, Lord Alfred. Do you not have a gift for Sir Edward?" Prince Albert asked.</p><p>"I do, indeed." He took a deep breath. He pulled out from his pocket a small silk pouch and placed it tenderly in Edward's hand. He felt sick, so he filled the silence with explanation. "I was out for a ride with His Royal Highness the day before yesterday. When we returned, he pulled off his glove and it took his wedding ring with it. We spent the next several minutes looking for it."</p><p>Victoria looked over her shoulder at Albert. He held out his hand, showing her he had it.</p><p>"It gave me an idea." He took a deep breath. "Edward, I know we cannot marry. But it is my intention to live as we are. And so I ask that you wear this as a sign of that intention."</p><p>Edward's eyes were saucers as he poured the silk bag's contents into his hand. A band came to rest in his palm. It was finely engraved with cable twists and loops around a small, deeply set diamond to crown it.</p><p>Edward could not speak, instead he answered with his actions, sliding the band onto his finger, marveling how it felt. He surged forward and wrapped Alfred in his arms in a tight embrace. After a moment, he pulled back with a simple 'good,' recalling the time they'd embraced in Scotland when the Queen had been found.</p><p>The Queen started moving away with the Prince. "Was that love, Albert?"</p><p>"It is, Victoria.</p><p>"Ah love!" came the over excited voice of King Leopold. "In my Belgium, something so beautiful would never have the resentment that it has here in England," he said. Alfred rolled his eyes, unsure of whether to believe Leopold, who was always making grand statements.</p><p>But Leopold was irrelevant; for in that moment, he had all he could want.</p><p>***</p><p>The plates had been cleaned and the gathering sat at the table, digesting a bit before the next course arrived. Behind him, Alfred could hear footsteps, but it wasn't until he could see the look in the Queen's eyes across the table, did he have any guess about who had entered.</p><p>"Uncle Cumberland," she said, surprised to see the man who had already angered her so much earlier in the week. Her hand went to her neck where she was wearing the very necklace that Cumberland was threatening to sue over.</p><p>"Victoria, I am leaving. Going back to Hanover. I have come here to say, that the necklace is yours. Happy Christmas." He turned to leave.</p><p>"Uncle Cumberland, won't you join us. Christmas is a time for family; as Albert has done so well to remind us."</p><p>Cumberland stepped forward tentatively, as though wondering if he were truly welcome.</p><p>The Duchess slid a little to the side. "Here, we shall make room for you here."</p><p>The dinner was continuing as a warm affair of familial love when a footman entered and went directly to Edward. He held out a small note on a silver salver. Edward unfolded the note and read it carefully.</p><p>"Your Majesty. The children of Soho are in the Great Courtyard. In thanks of your support, they would like to offer you a Christmas gift of song."</p><p>***</p><p>The Court had gathered in their coats in the courtyard. Alfred marveled at seeing the ring on Edward's finger glint in the pale light.</p><p>Once the Queen had greeted them all and wished them a Happy Christmas, the children started singing. They started, as most would expect, with 'God Save the Queen' before moving into 'Away in A Manger." From there, the children sang a hauntingly beautiful rendition of 'Jesu, Lover of My Soul.' The quiet melody stuck with the Queen for a moment until the children finished their mini-concert gift with the hymn 'All Things Bright and Beautiful.'</p><p>And indeed, as the Alfred looked around, the snow falling, surrounded by his closest friends and the man he loved, all things were indeed bright and beautiful.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Special note: The author is aware that some hymns sung in this chapter were not published until several years after the setting of this chapter. The inclusion of this hymn was for literary affect.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed. This was a fun, fluffy chapter. Gotta give our boys a breather before they go back into the crucible.</p><p>As always, let me know what you thought. Comment and kudos feed my pathetic need for attention ;P<br/>See you guys in a few days.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. No Disclosure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Victoria discovers that she has been deceived. The fall out ripples through the Palace and Edward struggles to help Victoria to have a good dressing down with her Prime Minister. All the while, Buckingham Palace gets ready for another ball to ring in the New Year.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday mornings in Buckingham Palace were some of Edward's favorites. They were much slower than most days and he was able to start much more leisurely in his office before moving up to greet the Queen and do the Boxes, before the Household went to church. It allowed him to have a bit heavier of a breakfast with the rest of the Court before reading the morning papers - a habit he'd started when he was Sir Robert's personal secretary and one he was immensely grateful to have started, as it was but a requirement. But for whatever reason deliveries to the Palace that day were delayed and now, as the Court and staff left the chapel and made their way back into the Palace, Victoria waved Edward up the join her.</p><p>"Sir Edward," the Queen asked as they climbed the staircase, moving toward the Queen's study. "Where were the Boxes?"</p><p>"Cabinet had yet to send them over by the time we left for church, Your Majesty."</p><p>"I do hope they are here now," the Queen said, irritation in her voice. "I would like to go for a ride after lunch." Edward glance at Alfred who's expression was one of complete lack of surprise and he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Yes, Your Majesty."</p><p>When Edward got to his office, the Boxes had indeed arrived, along with the expected stack of newspapers. He sat down at his chair as Alfred's head popped into the office.</p><p>"I see they've come," he said rather calmly.</p><p>"Yes," Edward replied, reaching for his notebook. Naturally, he would not open the Boxes, that was only for the Queen to do, but he liked to have at least had a cursory look at the papers before going up with them, that way when there was something in the Boxes that was perhaps referenced in the papers, he was prepared to speak on it.</p><p>Alfred sat down in one of the large, comfortable chairs across the desk from Edward as his love opened the leather bound journal and started writing the date, December 27, 1846. Papers were stacked on top of the newspapers, all around the desk. Household notes on discrepancies of candles and damages to fine linens - all in preparation for the Palace's annual New Year's Eve ball. "Seems to me, this will be quite the New Year," Alfred said, picking up the top sheet of notes, revealing the newspaper below.</p><p>"Yes," Edward said, blandly. "It really should be quite the event. Mr. Penge and his staff are putting in a lot of work." He never looked up from his journal as he wrote.</p><p>Alfred's eyes landed on the front page of the top newspaper. His eyes were wide and he scooped the paper up and read it aloud.</p><p>
  <em>'HM's ARMY SCANDAL: MASSACRE IN INDIA</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In mid-November, The Harold reported of an attack on Royal Army forces in India by a group of natives. The attack cost the lives of more than twenty five of Her Majesty's soldiers, but out of the tragedy, the Prime Minister touted a hero. A young Lieutenant Colonel James Walthingham, who, according to accounts, was able to direct the remain forces into the surrounding jungle and eliminate the savage threat. Walthingham, who was brutally maimed during the fight, reportedly saved the remaining lives of his battalion through his incredible acts of bravery. For his bravery, Walthingham was invited to meet with Her Majesty who hosted a ball in his honor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'It is, however, now coming to light, that many of the details of what happened in India are a bit more muddy than we might have been lead to believe. A man who claims to have been a survivor of the so called massacre has informed the Harold that the attack on HM's battalion was not an unprovoked attack by savages, as was previously reported, but rather a retaliation for the Lieutenant Colonel's leading the battalion into a village of local's and razing it to the ground, leaving neither woman nor child alive. The informant goes on to claim that the attack on the battalion was then exacerbated by Walthingham's actions of holding a local child as ransom in order to sue for a cessation of violence. However when the fighting did not abate as quickly as the Lieutenant Colonel seemed to have hoped, he executed the child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'It has become incredibly clear to this reporter that Mister Walthingham is no hero deserving of honors from the Queen but is in fact a murderer of children and one must ask the question if the Palace actually looks into the actions of Her Majesty's soldiers or if they simply take the word of a man claiming to be a hero. Furthermore, a question for Her Majesty might be, who is ensuring that the young men she is sending off to war zones are, in fact, gentleman and men of honor. Or is it perhaps that Her Majesty does not see a problem with the slaughter of the Indians as long as the spices for the Queen's table are secure.'</em>
</p><p>Alfred scanned paper after paper, Edward sitting back in shock. "Edward. They're all reporting the same story."</p><p>***</p><p>"This is more than an embarrassment to the Monarchy," Albert was shouting. "This is a direct reflection on the Queen, right or wrong."</p><p>Edward was trying to ignore the Prince. "Your Majesty, the papers are laying this at your feet, it might be best if we respond, and, perhaps apologize for our failure to properly corroborate Walthingham's story. And then we pressure the Government to take responsibility," Edward said.</p><p>"Who is the Commander-in-Chief of the forces in India?" Alfred asked.</p><p>Edward opened his book. "A Field Marshall Lord Steven Pennington."</p><p>"Recall him." Victoria said with absolute finality. "And summon the Prime Minister... And the Duke of Wellington, I want his perspective."</p><p>Albert shifted uncomfortably.</p><p>***</p><p>"Sir Edward." Brodie's voice came from the open door. "A letter for you, sir. From the House of Commons."</p><p>Drummond took the letter and opened it swiftly. "Wait a moment, Brodie," he said as the young man stared for the door. Edward was in shock. The Prime Minister was negotiating a time to come. It was outrageous.</p><p>He grabbed for a piece of stationary and wrote quickly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sir John,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am most unsettled by your response to the Queen's summons. I am writing now to inform you that this was not a request or a matter to be scheduled, or an invitation. This was a Royal Summons, a command by your Sovereign, in whose name you form your Government. Allow me to be very clear in Her Majesty's instruction. You will meet with the Queen today at 1:00. Should you miss this appointment, the Palace will have no choice but to publicly address your Government's failure to lead HM's forces in India and call for your immediate resignation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sir Edward Drummond</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Private Secretary to Her Majesty, Queen Victoria</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Brodie," Edward said as he sealed the letter. "See to it that this is in the Prime Minister's hands by the bottom of the hour."</p><p>Brodie took the letter and darted from the office.</p><p>***</p><p>"I don't understand how this happened, Sir John." The Queen's mood had gone from beyond agitated to outright anger as she looked at the Prime Minister from the Throne. "How did you and Cabinet not know about the accusations against this man before you brought him before me?"</p><p>The Prime Minister changed his weight from one foot to the other. "You must understand, Your Majesty. If we were to take the accusations of a common man against a commissioned officer, Ma'am, we would be memorializing a precedent that if an infantryman simply dislikes his commanding officer, for whatever reason, Ma'am, he may simply make an accusation of atrocity."</p><p>"What you're saying, Prime Minister, is that your Government did know of the accusations before he was brought to me."</p><p>"The locals of India are not a civilized people, Your Majesty."</p><p>"It would seem, Prime Minister, neither are our own troops." She stood, and descended the few stairs. "What of discipline? What of command? "</p><p>The Duke spoke. "Your Majesty, some commanders believe that the only way to gain the loyalty of the locasl is through brutality."</p><p>The Queen rounded on him. "Brutality? To gain loyalty? It seems to me, Duke, Prime Minister, to be unnecessarily cruel and brutal is to create a nation of subjects who are waiting for the proper climate for rebellion."</p><p>Edward glance at Alfred, a small smile on his face as he watched the Queen give these powerful men a dressing down.</p><p>"Do you believe that is the philosophy of this Walthingham?" Alfred asked, leading the Queen.</p><p>The Duke cleared his through. "I think that Walthingham was encouraged to take this level of cruelty - it seems to fit the character of Field Marshall Pennington."</p><p>Silence filled the room at the realization that these massacres could be happening all over India, at the encouragement of the highest ranking officer on the India front.</p><p>"Surely if this were the case, this wouldn't be the first time something so heinous has happened."</p><p>"Your Majesty, Pennington has only been the Commander-in-Chief for five years."</p><p>"I don't recall appointing a Commander-in-Chief of the Indian Forces."</p><p>Alfred sighed, doing the maths backwards. "Your Majesty will remember that Prince Bertie is five years old."</p><p>"He was appointed during my convalescence." The Queen was not asking a question. Her head rounded on Prince Albert. "You made more choices about <em>my</em> military in my absence." She turned back to her Prime Minister. "I want Pennington back in England. His career is over. And as for Walthingham."</p><p>"He'll be court-martialed, Ma'am."</p><p>Edward opened his book to a blank page. "Your Majesty, none of this addresses the matter of the public opinion."</p><p>"Pennington's appointment was approved by the Prince, serving as regnant in your absence. And he was not selected based on my Government's recommendation," Russell demanded. "The fault is on Peel's Government and Prince Albert."</p><p>The Queen nodded. "Yes, Prime Minister. The Tories and Prince Albert are the reason Pennington is in India. But it is your Government that hid the details of Walthingham's actions from the Crown. Your actions, Sir John are the direct cause of this scandal. If you wouldn't have praised him as a hero, when this all came out in the wash, we would be handling it internally, likely without my interference. Instead, you have embarrassed the Crown. You have diminished the standing of the Sovereign to my people and you have allowed the nation to question the integrity of every man serving in our armed forces. I have a good mind to ask for your resignation."</p><p>"Your Majesty," Edward stepped toward the Queen. "I fear demanding the Prime Minister's resignation might make it look to the public like you are scapegoating Government. I think it would be far better if the Prime Minister would make a statement where his Government took some level of responsibility for this."</p><p>"Well," Victoria said. "There you have it, Prime Minister."</p><p>"I'll issue a statement in time for the morning papers." Russell looked utterly defeated.</p><p>"Yes, I think you might. You, know, I might have thought your party might have learned a lesson about not keeping me informed," her eyes were on Albert the whole time she spoke. "making decisions about <em>my</em> soldier without my advice or consent, after the humiliation in Afghanistan, at the Khyber Pass." She took a pause before turning to face the Prime Minister and the Duke of Wellington. "You may leave us."</p><p>***</p><p>Edward sat in his office, his head in his hands as he tried to will away a headache.</p><p>"There's still work to be done about this ball, darling." Alfred crossed the room and rounded the desk. He placed his hands on Edward's shoulders and rubbed deeply into the muscle. "I'm afraid I'm not much good at planning them, but I rather think Miss Coke might try her hand at it."</p><p>Edward sighed deeply and Alfred couldn't tell if it was a response the his ministrations on Edward's shoulders or if it was something that was bothering him. "I can't keep passing these balls off to the Ladies-in-waiting."</p><p>"Shall I expect you late to supper, than?" Alfred asked, a little disappointed.</p><p>Edward huffed a little. "No," Edward straightened his back. "I'll be there for dinner. This will all still be here in the morning."</p><p>Alfred sat watching the man he was so hopelessly in love with as Edward wrote memos and notes on different details of the ball; should they have a string quartet, maybe something more lively like the band in Scotland. Should it be a seated dinner or pass heavy hors d'oeuvres? Champagne throughout the night or have signature cocktails or ale and whiskey? If it were to be heavy hors d'oeuvres, what should they be? Not to mention the constant pile of government papers some requiring Royal Assent - for which, he wrote up a very brief explanation of the legislation for the Queen - or requests of audience.</p><p>Alfred could tell the weight of the day's earlier scandal was heavy on Edward's shoulder. How he wished he could relieve some of that weight, but that was the life of Royal Service and Alfred knew only too well what that entailed. "Edward, I can help write some of these summaries and recommendations for you."</p><p>Edward looked up. "Yes, I think that would be of great help."</p><p>***</p><p>The ball was fast approaching and Edward was finally starting to relax into the plans. He'd signed off on the final order for the ball that morning and was walking toward the Queen's study to go over the letters from the Government that he'd received over the past hours.</p><p>"Sir Edward, please come in. Lord Alfred was just telling me that some of the recommendations from the House regarding our hopes for poverty reform are quite encouraging."</p><p>Edward glanced quickly to Alfred. "No, Your Majesty. They've stated that they Prime Minister and Cabinet will consider discussing governmental involvement during the next session."</p><p>Victoria looked to Alfred and back to her secretary. "Yes. They'll at least think about it being a part of the next agenda."</p><p>"With respect Your Majesty; I believe you and Lord Alfred have misinterpreted the meaning. In reality, it's a formal way of telling the Crown to stay out of the business of governing." He bit his lip before continuing. "The formality works both ways, Ma'am. On the rare instances when you choose to withhold Assent, the Commons are informed by the Clerk telling them 'the Queen will consider it.'"</p><p>Alfred's brow furrowed and his cheeks reddened. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, I did not realize the formality of the Commons."</p><p>"Yes, Lord Alfred. Perhaps it's best that in the future, you and I don't speculate on the meanings of correspondence without Sir Edward's explanations."</p><p>Alfred bristled a little, and Edward looked over the Queen's head to Alfred, an apology on his features. "Yes, Ma'am."</p><p>***</p><p>"I'm sorry that I cannot dance with you tonight," Edward said as he straightened his waistcoat.</p><p>Alfred was occupied untangling the gold cables of his uniform jacket. "Hmm? Yes, of course." The loop of gold cable that his arm was meant to pass through was somehow caught on the half sash on the left breast of the jacket, restricting his arm and making him look rather like Napoleon.</p><p>"Alfred," Edward said coming up behind him. "I mean that. I do wish we could." He wrapped his arms around the shorter man and fiddled with something on the front of Alfred's jacket. The loop was freed and his arm fell to his side.</p><p>"Yes, Edward. I know you do," he said turning to look in the mirror and smooth out his jacket. "Now we should get to the ballroom, lest we be late for this ball you've spent so much time planning." He stepped out of the bedroom and started toward the door.</p><p>Drummond did not move. "I'd rather be late if it meant you'd speak to me," he said, his thumb spinning the ring Alfred had given him around his finger. His voice was small and he couldn't help realize he'd spoken with the same tone he'd used in Ciro's those months ago, he could hear himself almost pleading.</p><p>Alfred must have heard it also, for he stopped in his tracks and turned, allowing Edward to take the lead.</p><p>"I'm not certain as to what I might have done to earn your scorn, Alfred. But you must know that I've had no intention of wounding you."</p><p>Alfred closed his eyes, not looking at Edward; more memories of Ciro's. "I'm certain that you believe that, Edward."</p><p>"Believe that? Alfred, do you think that I might be trying to hurt you without knowing I'm doing so."</p><p>"I think," Alfred started, "I think that you are very nervous and eager to prove yourself in your role as Private Secretary, and likely without knowing you are doing so, are working to undermine my relationship with the Queen in favor of your own."</p><p>Edward was flabbergasted. Without choosing to, he moved to the sitting room and collapsed onto the sofa. He was hurt; not that Alfred would make an accusation but that Alfred would think Edward capable of that. "Alfred."</p><p>"We are going to be late."</p><p>"Alfred, please." He was pleading again. He could hear those words he'd muttered at the restaurant, his voice the same has it had been. <em>Surely that is for me to decide.</em></p><p>"Our absence will not go unnoticed."</p><p>"Damn what they think! Will you listen to me, Alfred?"</p><p>Alfred was quite taken aback by Edward's outburst. Drummond wasn't prone to that sort of display, only driving home the point of what he must be feeling. Alfred moved away from the door, toward Edward and he sat in the large chair opposite.</p><p>Edward's eyes were on his lap as he started speaking. "Alfred, you must believe that I would never act against you. I would sooner resign before I'd work to harm you." He looked up, his eyes meeting Alfred. "I love you, Alfred. And I won't do something like that. On Christmas, you asked me if I would share myself with you as a married pair do. Well that means support you in your endeavors. You have my support, unwaveringly."</p><p>Those words struck Alfred. Edward was right, he had said that he wanted to live as a married couple, and that meant support. And he was sitting here, not merely failing give support, but accusing him of trying to harm him. What sort of love was that? "I didn't mean to say that I don't support you, Edward."</p><p>Edward looked surprised. "I know, you've done nothing but support me. Each day when you come to my office and just sit or read the notes. I know you support me. I feel as though I've failed you, if you haven't felt that same support from me."</p><p>A tear broke down Alfred's eye and Edward was surprised to find he was crying too.</p><p>"I'm sorry for being so dense about this," Alfred said, scrubbing at his eyes.</p><p>They both rose, crossing the small distance to the other and embraced tightly.</p><p>***</p><p>The splendid ballroom was filled with close to a hundred people, all dancing and enjoying themselves. So many people were there, in fact, that the staff had opened the dining room for additional space. It was truly a sight to behold; and how Edward had selected both the Scottish style band and the strings quartet allowed for a great variety and a consistent change of energy, ensuring nothing about the ball seemed to get predictable or boring.</p><p>One of the Ladies-in-waiting - he regretted to say he did not remember her name - danced with Edward in a beautiful waltz, though his eyes kept finding Alfred, who was dancing nearby with Lady Emma. He was astounded at how exquisite everything looked, it hardly seemed the same rooms that they walked through, in and out all day.</p><p>"This is incredible. The work that the staff has put into everything," he said as he turned in step with the music.</p><p>The lady laughed. "It seems I forget that this is your first New Year's with us at the Palace. It's important that celebrations here are not small. We have much to celebrate as each year draws to a close. We have supported the Sovereign as she has supported all of England. It is no small feat."</p><p>"Neither was putting this ball together," Alfred said as he and Lady Emma waltzed past. "You should be very proud of yourself."</p><p>Edward blushed a little, not feeling like he'd done nearly as much as what must have been needed to put the ball together.</p><p>"Lord Alfred is right," Lady Isabelle said, smiling. <em>That was right, her name was Isabelle.</em></p><p>Lady Isabelle had been one of the newer additions to court, recommended by Wilhelmina Coke. Edward thought on that for a moment, hoping that Lady Isabelle was not a mutual friend of Miss Coke's and Florence.</p><p>Florence was already enough of a concern occupying Edward's mind. He was sure he'd not seen the last of her, and while at one time he did care very deeply for her, he feared that she would become vindictive.</p><p>He debated bringing the topic up with Lady Isabelle as they danced but decided that that was perhaps not the time. Instead, when the music stopped, he begged her excusal and moved to the edge of the dance floor, suddenly very thirsty.</p><p>A waiter passed and he took a glass of champagne from the tray, downing it in one.</p><p>"Sir Edward? Is it so much a disaster that you must drink to deal with it?" the Queen said as she stood next to him.</p><p>He turned to face her, bowing his head. "You Majesty," he said, "not at all. In fact I find it rather splendid. I admit that signing off on contracts and menus, I never envisioned it would turn out like this."</p><p>"It is a sight, Mister Drummond, truly. But I must ask, if you are please with it, what brings you such anxiety?'</p><p>His eyes were locked on Alfred as he danced with Lady Harriet now. "There is a certain weight, Ma'am. Alfred and I had a disagreement and while we resolved it, the additional pressure of being here without being with each other does nothing to quell some of those fears."</p><p>"Drummond, I think you miss far too much," Victoria said kindly. "Even when I can sense the irritation between you two, as I did this morning, do you not see that his eyes always find you?"</p><p>Edward looked at the small Queen in surprise, again missing how with each turn, Alfred's eyes had locked on the dark haired man, even for the briefest of moments.</p><p>"You don't think, Your Majesty, that there's simply too much against us?"</p><p>Victoria offered a subtle smile. "Sir Edward, only you know where the limits of where your relationship breaks. But if I were to judge from the outside, with perhaps a little more insight than most, I 'd say that there is little that can be against you that is beyond your breaking point. Drummond, if you could have seen the love and fear that Alfred had when he thought he might lose you."</p><p>Edward smiled as he looked back out on the dance floor; Alfred had found him again, and this time their eyes met. Alfred offered a smile and raised his eyebrow, a subtle flirtation across the crowded room. Edward smiled brightly back.</p><p>***</p><p>"Can't you get out of that thing any faster?" Edward said, impatiently waiting as Alfred undid the buttons on his jacket.</p><p>"I can't just tear this off," Alfred replied, finally shucking the jacket from his body and letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor.</p><p>Edward approached him, hunger in his eyes. "No, but I can certainly tear this off of you." He grabbed Alfred by his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss that burned with fire. Alfred was shocked by the fervor Edward had - quite pleasantly shocked. The kiss hadn't abated and he could feel his lungs starting to burn, he was caught, torn between wanting the kiss to never end and to pull back and take breath. He had to breath though and he pulled back, intending to return in a mere second.</p><p>Edward took advantage of the moment to rip at Alfred's shirt. Buttons tore free and flew from the shirt as though fired from a slingshot.</p><p>"The um... the bed..." Alfred said, breathlessly.</p><p>"Go."</p><p>Alfred practically ran to the bed, with Edward on his heels.</p><p>The fire between them seemed unquenchable and no matter how long they worshiped each other, their passion and hunger only burned brighter. Somewhere in the recesses of Alfred's mind, he knew that he was going to regret the athleticism in the morning, particularly if the Queen wished to go out for a ride, but in that moment, as he and Edward's bodies were one, he did not care about the morning. Just the man whose arms were so tightly around him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. This one was a lot of fun to write. It's got a lot and I'm enjoying getting the chance to set up things for much further into the future.</p><p>As always, let me know what you think, comment and kudo - I live for those silly affirmations. </p><p>See you guys in a few days!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Gun and The Gift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just weeks into the new year, during one of the Queen's countless carriage rides through Hyde Park, another attempt is made on Victoria's life, shaking her greatly, when it's discovered that what was thought to be an unloaded pistol had actually discharged, firing a bullet into the suspension of the Royal Carriage. Because of this close call, Victoria lean's heavily - maybe too heavily - and Paget.</p><p>Just as Victoria is settling from the disaster, the young servant - Miss Cleary - tells of her aunt's death of the potato blight, spurring Victoria's outrage that the news of the Famine has slowed but the famine itself still rages.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alfred was still lying in bed, his eyes still closed, as he listened to Edward get ready for his day. "It will do us both so much good to be able to spend a day just in the apartments," Edward said, looking at his lover through the mirror</p><p>Alfred laughed, "Oh yes, but where would the Queen be without her Secretary to help her rule."</p><p>Edward feared there was still bitterness in Alfred's words but he could not find it. "The Prime Minister will be here for an audience today, more about the disaster in India, I suspect."</p><p>Alfred yawned, and opened his eyes. "Yes, well. I hope he has something more to say about his responsibility in the matter," Alfred said as he finally pulled himself from the bed. "Her Majesty is hardly satisfied with his statement about Government's failures."</p><p>Edward turned to Alfred. "She's right to be. He all but laid this on Sir Robert. He barely acknowledged that he and his Government were not merely complicit but were active in deceiving the Queen," he paused briefly. "You know, that's actually rather good."</p><p>Alfred looked at him oddly while he tried to do something with his hair. "What are you on about," he said with a smile.</p><p>"I've been preparing, in the event that we have to make a statement about this whole debacle. Perhaps letting the country know that the Government deceived the Queen isn't the best idea yet, but if the Prime Minister does not take responsibility, I think we may have say something. The nation is looking to their Queen and it does no one any good to think that she could be so calloused toward the Indian people."</p><p>Alfred had pulled up some trousers and had slipped free of his nightclothes while Edward had spoken. "Yes well, I think the sooner the Queen opens up about this, the better."</p><p>"I'm not sure it's quite so simple, darling. We cannot make it look as thought she's refusing to accept blame. It must look like the blame never truly rested on the Queen."</p><p>***</p><p>"I do hope you don't intend to be long winded today, Prime Minister. I had rather hoped to go for a ride through the Park."</p><p>Russell shifted. "No, Ma'am. I wanted you to be aware that the court martial for the Lieutenant Colonel Walthingham has been called. I'm afraid that these will be rather public proceedings-" Victoria interrupted him.</p><p>"Sir John, I really do wish you would stop giving that man the respect of his rank. In my opinion he's lost the privilege of it."</p><p>"Yes Your Majesty, but I'm afraid that decision will be made at the court marshal, not in this study, Ma'am." He blinked slowly, stalling as he chose his words very carefully. "I'm afraid, Ma'am, that I don't think the papers are going to be kind to you throughout the court martial."</p><p>"I should think not, Prime Minister. The Government has done little to sway public opinion that the Crown hadn't been giving the needed information about Walthingham."</p><p>"With respect, Your Majesty. If the Government were take full responsibility, it would make it very difficult for us to govern. It is the duty of the monarchy to accept the wrath of the people to allow the Government to work."</p><p>Edward stepped forward. "I'm curious Prime Minister. Where is it written that the Crown is meant to wick criticism from the Government? It seems to me that that makes the Queen a rather convenient target whenever you fail in you agenda. Rather than take responsibility and accept the consequences of the people's reaction to those failings, you blame someone who is not elected, but is appointed by the divine authority of God, so that you might maintain your seats when the next election comes. " The Prime Minister's face was turning a very strange shade of red, but it was clear he know that addition criticism was not going to be accepted. "I ask, Prime Minister, because before coming to the Palace, I spent five years in Government, three of them with Prime Minister Peel, as I'm sure you know. And over my time in Government and my studies at Cambridge before, I've never heard that interpretation of the purpose of the Crown."</p><p>"I think we've heard enough of the Prime Minister's opinion of what I should be doing."</p><p>The Prime Minister tried to interrupt the Queen. "Your Majesty, with all due respect, I have not finished discussing what I've come to discuss."</p><p>"And yet, Sir John, I have finished listening. You may leave us."</p><p>Alfred stepped forward, moving to the Prime Minister's side. "If you'll come with me, Prime Minister."</p><p>As the Prime Minister and his secretary left, Alfred could hear them, talking about how they've done what they felt was their responsibility. Admittedly, a petty part of himself was rather happy to hear it. It would force the Queen to publicly address the problem of Prime Minister Russell.</p><p>When he'd gotten back to the study, quickly pulled Drummond aside. "Edward, they aren't going to make any further statements. I heard them talking on the way to the door. And I don't think the Prime Minister thinks the Queen would ever speak against him."</p><p>Edward's face was pensive for a moment. "I think Russell is going to be sorely surprised."</p><p>"Enough of this unfortunate business, Lord Alfred," Victoria said, "have the carriage brought around."</p><p>Alfred bowed his head, "Of course, Ma'am.</p><p>"Ma'am I wonder if I might use a carriage to go purchase something," Edward asked, once Alfred had left the room.</p><p>The Queen did not miss that he'd waited and she smiled at him. "What on Earth could be hoping to buy that Lord Alfred cannot know?"</p><p>Edward looked at her blankly from a few seconds before replying. "Your Majesty, I find it rather one sided that I should have a ring from Alfred, and he not have a ring of my own devotion."</p><p>"Of course you may go, Sir Edward."</p><p>***</p><p>For a January morning, it was very mild weathered, and the Queen simply had a blanket thrown over her legs for warmth as they proceeded down the pathway of Hyde Park. She was smiling broadly and waving to the people who lined the path. Lady Harriet seemed to be enjoying the time out of the palace also, perhaps happy to have a little critical distance from Prince Ernest, however briefly it may be.</p><p>Alfred rode horseback in his customary position. His red jacket and black hat with the high plume made him imposing to anyone who might try to threaten the carriage.</p><p>That however, did not stop some people and as the carriage approached a small clearing where many had gather to watch as the Royal entourage went passed, Alfred could see a man grabbing for something concealed in his jacket.</p><p>He shouted for the man to make his hands visible but the crowd, frightened by the sudden flurry from the Equerry, created a confusion that allowed the man to fully withdraw the pistol that had been hiding in his coat.</p><p>The man leveled his gun at the monarch as Alfred shouted to the driver of the carriage to ride on, to go faster. The hammer fell and a flash and cloud exploded from the barrel of the man's gun. The horses all bucked up and Alfred worked to gain control of his mount and give chase to the man now running with the crowd, trying to blend in.</p><p>"You sir!" Alfred shouted as he came into the crowd on horseback. "Stop!" He was reaching for his own side arm as the man turned mid stride toward Alfred.</p><p>He was already pulling out a second gun and was lifting it toward Alfred. Alfred raised his own, and pulled the trigger. A shot rang out, and the small lead ball flew through the air true, it struck the man in the chest and he fell back, his arms waving wildly as he did. The pistol firing into the air as he hit the ground.</p><p>Alfred dismounted and ran to the man he'd just shot, immediately applying pressure to the wound, but Alfred's ministrations were too late, the bullet had torn through the man's heart. He was dead before he'd hit the ground.</p><p>Alfred's gloves were covered in blood as he sat back on the ground. He'd just taken a man's life. So much had seemed to have happened that it was hard to comprehend that it had all happened in the span of seconds. In the span of a breath, this man had gone from breathing, attempted regicide, to a cooling corpse and Alfred wondered if perhaps that wasn't some small mercy, the speed of the bullet rather than the slow agony of the noose.</p><p>The event's played out again and again in his head, like a zoetrope, until the man's face was suddenly replaced with Edward's. His breathing increased and he could feel himself breaking out into a cold sweat. Had Edward wheeled and waved his arms so wildly? Had he fallen back with such speed? A wave of nausea washed over him and he found he needed to get to Edward.</p><p>***</p><p>Edward could hear the commotion echoing through the halls as worked on the statement for the Queen. He lifted his head, wondering what might be the cause when he heard Prince Albert shout the Queen's name.</p><p>He stood and moved through the door and out into the hallway, staff and Ladies-in-waiting where running all around, a flurry of activity.</p><p>"I'm fine, Albert," the Queen said as she moved down the hallway. She was visibly shaken but functioning. "I'm worried, Albert," she said in a hushed tone. "Lord Alfred went after the gunman. I heard two shots as we fled."</p><p>Edward broke out into a sweat until another of the Queen's guard came running through the door. "Your Majesty," he said out of breath. "He's dead. Lord Alfred shot him."</p><p>"Where is Lord Alfred?" Victoria asked.</p><p>"The police have just taken the body, Lord Alfred is on his way back now."</p><p>Only moment's passed before Alfred came in. His white breeches were covered in mud and his red uniform jacket was stained crimson with blood. Victoria rushed to the side of her Chief Equerry. "Alfred, you're covered in blood, are you alright?"</p><p>"I'm well, Ma'am. The blood is not mine."</p><p>"Alfred." The single, nearly whispered word drifted through the hallway to Alfred's ear. He looked and his eyes locked with the warmth of Edward's brown eyes.</p><p>Edward broke to a run and when he got to Alfred, he hugged him tightly. The hallway was filled with people and a moment later he released the shorter blond man. "Forgive me, Lord Alfred. I forget myself."</p><p>Alfred smiled at the taller man, though his heart skipped a beat when he looked down to find that some of the blood from his jacket had soaked into Edward's shirt leaving a bright red stain on his chest. For a moment, Alfred could see in his mind's eye, Edward flail, like the man in the park had, and fall back. "Your Majesty, I wonder if I might have some time to collect myself?"</p><p>"Of course, Lord Alfred. You might also wish to bathe."</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am."</p><p>Edward looked to the Queen his eyes pleading. She simply nodded, knowing the unspoken question that he begged of her.</p><p>Alfred set off for 'his' apartments and Edward turned to return to his office. He spent now time in the office, rather he simply grabbed his jacket and waited a moment to mask any suspicion that he might be going to follow Alfred. After a few moment's had passed, he popped his head out into the hallway and seeing no one, he stepped out, heading for their apartments.</p><p>"Sir Edward," came the clipped accented voice of Prince Albert. Edward stopped to hear the Prince.</p><p>"Your Royal Highness."</p><p>Albert walked up calmly. "When you see Lord Alfred, please extend my thanks for his actions today."</p><p>Edward laughed lightly. "Of course, Your Highness. Would there be anything else?"</p><p>"No, thank you."</p><p>***</p><p>When Edward had arrived at the apartments, Alfred was in his dressing gown getting ready to go for a bath.</p><p>"Alfred, are you sure you're alright?"</p><p>"I'm a little shaken, I'll admit, but my body his whole."</p><p>Edward gave him a strange look.</p><p>"Would you like to inspect?" Alfred said, not in a flirtatious way.</p><p>"No," he hesitated a moment. "What's got you so shaken then?"</p><p>Alfred took a sigh and pulled the dressing gown around him tighter. "Edward, when I shot that man, he flailed and fell quickly. It was all so fast, it didn't seem real. And then it just played out again and again in my head, and I could not help but see you falling and flailing." Alfred spoke as though he were confessing some dark sin. "I've done my best to avoid thinking about what exactly happened that day, Edward. But now I find that I must know."</p><p>"Alfred. I'm afraid that I cannot rightly tell you. I remember the shot, the pain and Sir Robert. I cannot tell you if I fell or was assisted to the ground or if I wheeled around or if I shouted."</p><p>That last possibility frightened Alfred most of all, the idea that he screamed out in pain. He moved toward Edward and wrapped his arms around the other man, hoping that Edward would take the cue and hold him, even for just a moment before he went to get clean.</p><p>"Alfred, I wonder if I might beg a favor of you?"</p><p>Alfred pulled back, "Of course. What do you need of me?"</p><p>"I had rather hoped that you might wear this." He held out a gold ring to Alfred, similar enough to his own, the looping cables of gold, not unlike the gold cables of Alfred's uniform. Only the diamond was missing, and Edward regretted that he could not afford the precious stone, but he doubted that Alfred would really care. And he'd been right, seeing Alfred begin to openly weep as he slid the ring onto is finger.</p><p>***</p><p>"Is it true, Sir Edward, that the impoverished of Ireland continue to die by the thousands?" the Queen asked.</p><p>Edward looked down not really wanting to answer. "I'm sorry to say, Your Majesty, but yes, I believe it to be so."</p><p>Alfred could see the pain in both Edward and the Queen's eyes.</p><p>"What is it that I might do? I have tried to work with the Government but Russell's Government seems resolved to defy me."</p><p>Alfred stepped forward. "From a position of leadership, Ma'am, I think you've done what can be done. But if you have you mind set to assist in some small way, the British Relief Association is accepting donations of money to provide food and relief."</p><p>Victoria looked to Edward. "Would that truly be of help?"</p><p>"Ma'am food and money is what they need most right now. I believe a donation of any amount in Your Majesty's name would be most helpful and most appreciated."</p><p>The Queen thought for a moment before she said with absolute certainty. "Then I wish to donate two thousand pounds."</p><p>"Two <em>thousand</em>, Ma'am?" Edward stumbled over the words.</p><p>"Yes, Sir Edward, two thousand pounds." Edward wrote the amount down and the organization in his journal while the Queen moved on. "Now then, what are we to do about the Prime Minister?"</p><p>"Your Majesty," Alfred spoke before Edward could. "Sir Edward has prepared an address for you to make to Parliament, as you do at the opening of Parliament each year."</p><p>She looked to Drummond, a question in her eyes.</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am." He placed the prepared speech on the desk before the Queen allowing her to look it over.</p><p>"I think this says what I wish to say pretty well," Victoria was looking over the speech Drummond had prepared for her. "Do you mind that I make some small changes?"</p><p>"Not at all, Ma'am."</p><p>The Queen made a few notations and placed her pen down in its cradle next to the ink pot. "And do you believe that the way is safe, Lord Alfred?"</p><p>"As safe as can be Ma'am, I shall send for a carriage with a closed roof and Sir Edward and I will be in the carriage with you."</p><p>"Very good. Sir Edward, send a page with a note that I am coming to Parliament and I will address the Lords and Commons."</p><p>"Very good, Ma'am."</p><p>***</p><p>The tension in Parliament was incredibly high. It was so rare that the Sovereign would address the legislature apart from the opening of Parliament. Rumors were swirling, everything that she about to dissolve the sitting Parliament and require all new elections, to the idea that Victoria maybe about to abdicate. To say that the Prime Minister was uncomfortable about the situation was an understatement, but there was little he could do at that point as he sat on the bench in the Chamber of the House of Commons waiting to be summoned for the Sovereign's address. The door opened and entered the Black Rod</p><p>Black Rod stood and bowed the the Speaker before he spoke loudly to the assembly "Mister Speaker, The Queen commands this honorable House," he stopped mid sentence and bowed to both sides of the House - the Tories and the Whigs - before continuing, "to attend Her Majesty immediately in the House of Peers."</p><p>The members of the Commons all rose as if in unison and processed out and across Westminster to the Chamber of the House of Lords where they gathered in the gallery, standing at the bar.</p><p>As was traditional, a trumpet fanfare announce her arrival and the entirety of Parliament rose and began singing 'God Save the Queen.'</p><p>Once she was situated and sat upon the Throne that crowned the House of Lords, the Lord Chamberlain presented the speech Edward had written to the Queen.</p><p>"My Lords Spiritual and Lords Temporal; Members of the House of Commons, We come before you this day under the most grievous of circumstances. The news of My military abroad has startled and shocked Us as We have learned of the actions of this most detestable member of My armed forced. We have sat in council and in prayer, We have listened to the advice of the Lord Chamberlain and the Privy Councillors. We have listened to the words of Our Prime Minister who forms this current Government in Our name.</p><p>"It is in these conversations that We have learned of a most offensive and grievous action taken against your Sovereign, justly and divinely appointed by God Almighty.</p><p>"In the course of Our conversations, We have been informed that the Government of Sir John Russell, while aware of the accusations against Mister Walthingham, encouraged Us to not only honor him with an invitation to Buckingham Palace, but that We hold a ball in recognition of this man's bravery. Bravery that We now have learned to have been an utter fabrication by the Prime Minister and Cabinet.</p><p>"The Prime Minister has refused to accept the responsibility of his office and has lost Our confidence that he can continue to rightly and honestly govern Our people in Our name.</p><p>"It is for this cause that We ask the Prime Minister, for the final time, to accept the responsibilities entrusted to him both by Our people and by Us. Without the Prime Minister's immediate actions to take responsibility, an explanation to Our people as to the truth and an apology for the damage done to the Crown, We will be unable build any further confidence in the Prime Minister and We will require the Prime Minister's immediate resignation.</p><p>"If the Prime Minister continues to defy the Crown, We will have no choice but to dissolve this Government and call for an immediate general election.</p><p>"My Lords and Members of the House of Commons, I pray that the blessings of Almighty God may rest upon your councils."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh my goodness guys, I'm so sorry this is a few days later. We had so much going on this weekend and time just got away from me.</p><p>But anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will return to our regular schedule this week so I'll see you in a few days.</p><p>Lemme know what you guys think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Trauma of the Past; Regrets for the Future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sir Robert makes a surprise visit to Buckingham Palace with some disturbing news. Edward starts coming to grips with what he'd gone through. Our whole 'family' celebrates Easter and Edward worries he's holding Alfred back.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The March morning was cooler than they'd expected, and Edward closed the window to their apartments just a fast as he'd opened it. The breeze that had blown through in the short instance that he'd had the window open had been enough to rouse Alfred from what had seemed to be a rather deep sleep. It did seem for the better; it was entirely possible that Alfred might have slept beyond when he was expected to be present in court - he'd been up half the night reading, Edward had been completely asleep when Alfred finally joined him in bed.</p>
<p>Alfred yawned wide as his eyes fluttered open to find Edward getting ready for the day. "Is it that late already?" he asked when he found himself able to string together coherent thoughts.</p>
<p>"Not quite, darling. But we should probably make an appearance at breakfast this morning," he said as his stomach grumbled in hunger.</p>
<p>Alfred yawned again and propped himself up on the bed. "Yes. Well, I suppose it wouldn't be the worst plan if we had something in our stomachs before we start the day. Any suspicions of what might be in the Boxes this morning?"</p>
<p>Edward tied his burgundy, silk, bow tie around his neck ten reached for a waistcoat. "I imagine something about the troops in Jalalabad and India. Cabinet should have a new list of candidates for the Commander-in-Chief position in India soon."</p>
<p>"I should hope so," Alfred said as his feet met the rich carpet. "Her Majesty removed Pennington in January."</p>
<p>Edward glanced at his lover before turning his eyes on the buttons of the waistcoat. "Yes well, I expect they've been dragging their feet. Russell is still licking his wounds and he can't seem to get much through the House."</p>
<p>"Hmm. Anything else interesting in the Boxes?"</p>
<p>"Probably a few legal briefs, a summary of the past day's actions in both Houses of Parliament. The Archbishop of Canterbury might have a few documents. If we are lucky a statement from the British Relief Association." He pulled a jacket on over his waistcoat. "And any number of mundane and monotonous lists and reviews."</p>
<p>Alfred bent to pull on his trousers. "When do you think the new list for commissions might come?"</p>
<p>"Not before June, I should think. Why, Alfred? Didn't the Queen already grant your brother Septimus his commission?"</p>
<p>Alfred nodded as he reached for a shirt from his wardrobe. "Oh yes, but I do like to keep eye out for other Pagets. You know there is a whole clan of us."</p>
<p>Edward laughed. He was indeed aware of just how many siblings Alfred had. He was aware of at least seven brothers and quite the assortment of sisters as well. He'd often wondered why Alfred never sought to bring any of his sisters to court, but then there could have been any number of reasons. Alfred had a unique level of charm, and if the Paget women possessed it just the same as he, he might be afraid that he might lose his standing as a favorite of the Queen. Or perhaps all of his family wasn't as open-minded as his parents, Alfred maybe protecting them? There was also the possibility, Edward feared, that Alfred's family had had the expectation that he would become involved with someone in the same noble status as the Pagets, something that Edward was not. "Darling, I why haven't you asked Her Majesty if any of your sisters might come to Court? You've certainly intervened where possible on the behalf of your brothers."</p>
<p>Alfred stopped, for just a moment, one arm in his jacket. "Well," he began as he pushed his other arm through. "My sisters are very much like our mother. And that is a good thing. But it would do them no favors in Court. They are all strong willed and headstrong. And would resent having to ask the Queen's permission before doing something like getting married."</p>
<p>There was something else that Alfred wasn't saying, that he was evading. "Oh. I would have thought the Queen might appreciate those qualities; as long has she had been warned at the off."</p>
<p>"Well, you see, I had rather hoped to get a place for my youngest sister Adelaide, a few years ago. The Queen was very gracious and had invited her with no more recommendation than my own. Adelaide turned down Her Majesty's invitation and while the Queen never said so, I think she was insulted by it all."</p>
<p>"Oh yes, I see."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward was on his way to the Queen's study with the Boxes. They were not nearly as heavy as they often were, which meant either Parliament had done very little the day before, or there was bad news and the Boxes had been lightened to soften the blow.</p>
<p>He was just about to climb the few stairs to the level of the Queen's study when he saw a familiar form sitting in a chair along the side of the corridor.</p>
<p>"Sir Robert," he said, excitedly.</p>
<p>"Drummond." He was looking around with awe. "You know, when you're Prime Minister, this all seem like just another place you must go. But once you've left, and you didn't think you'd ever return, the splendor of it all really starts to hit you."</p>
<p>Edward looked around, realizing that Peel was right. He could remember his first time walking through Buckingham Palace, the wonder of it all. Now that he lived here it all seem to have become just a part of the scenery.</p>
<p>"What brings you here, Sir Robert?"</p>
<p>Peel looked away. "I have something to discuss with the Queen." The answer was oddly evasive.</p>
<p>"I'm just on my way to her now. I'll let her know you're here," Edward said as he started down the hall again.</p>
<p>He knocked on the door of the study before he stepped through the open door. Alfred was sitting in the window seat, looking out over the garden, foot up on the cushion, the other dangling to the floor. Victoria sat at her desk, writing a letter to someone.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty," Edward said, bowing his head before approaching. "I have the Box for today, and your schedule, with one alteration."</p>
<p>The Queen looked up with inquisition on her face.</p>
<p>"Sir Robert Peel is here to see you."</p>
<p>The Queen smiled. It was really quite funny. When Peel had first become Prime Minister, Victoria could not stand him. She thought he was not genteel, and was arrogant. It didn't help that he was a Tory and she'd been so molded in her early reign by Lord Melbourne, the Whig Prime Minister. But it had turned out that Peel had stood the test. He'd supported her and helped her. He'd helped her become an outstanding Queen, even if she didn't always agree with his politics.</p>
<p>"Show him in, Sir Edward."</p>
<p>Drummond left briefly to get the former Prime Minister and returned just a moment later. It was an odd feeling. Every other time he'd been in that study with Sir Robert, he'd been there in the capacity as the PM's private secretary, a representative of Government. It was very strange to be on the opposite side of the desk from Peel.</p>
<p>"What brings you to us, Sir Robert?" the Queen said happily upon seeing Peel.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty, Drummond," he addressed them both, something very unusual. "I thought it was important that I tell you that last night, the trial of Daniel McNaughtan ended."</p>
<p>The name seemed vaguely familiar but when Alfred soon shot up from the window seat and was standing next to him he realized who McNaughtan was.</p>
<p>"I'm afraid his barristers did a fine job and the bastard was found not guilty by cause of insanity."</p>
<p>Edward wasn't so shocked. He'd seen the look in the man's eyes as he leveled the gun at Sir Robert - the look of madness. Alfred and Queen Victoria on the other hand both seemed instantly livid.</p>
<p>"Insane or not, the man took a shot at you, and nearly killed Drummond."</p>
<p>"I don't disagree, and from what I understand, he seemed to be quite with it at the trial. It's too simple to defend yourself with the insanity plea."</p>
<p>"What is to become of him if he isn't to meet the justice of the rope?" Alfred asked.</p>
<p>"He's been transferred to Bedlam, he'll be in state hospitals for the criminally insane for the rest of his life."</p>
<p>Edward found that he wasn't horribly bothered, not like Alfred was, or even Sir Robert and the Queen. At least, he didn't think it bothered him.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred had been trying to soothe Edward for at least five minutes. He'd started moaning in what sounded like excruciating pain before calling out for Alfred. He was clammy to the touch. Alfred felt like his fears from earlier that morning were coming true, the news of Edward's shooter being found not guilty had been eating at him all day, and now it seemed that Edward's strong face had just masked his own fears. He stroked the side of Edward's face, trying to soothe him; sweat was rolling down his face. At Alfred's touch, Edward awoke with a start. It took him several seconds to get his baring, to realize he was in their bedroom, not on the cold street in front of Parliament. He clutched his chest, the spot where the bullet had entered, and groaned, his eyes watery.</p>
<p>"Edward?" He struggled to keep his voice empty of fear, but looking into his eyes, seeing the pain in Edward's beautiful, bottomless eyes broke his heart.</p>
<p>"Alfred," his voice was wavering and Alfred struggled not to show his concern. "Would you... would you just hold me?"</p>
<p>Alfred nodded, a sad sort of smile on his face, as he laid down next to Drummond and wrapped his arms around him. "What do you need, my darling?"</p>
<p>"You. I just need you." Alfred nodded as Edward backed against him.</p>
<p>As much as the fear and pain that was in Edward's eyes, Alfred could feel Edward's heart beat strong in his chest and he let the steady thrumming lull him back to sleep.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"Sir Edward, are you well?" the Queen asked as she went through the Boxes, acknowledging the letters and notes from the Government.</p>
<p>"I... I did not sleep well, You Majesty."</p>
<p>Victoria looked up. "Yes, I thought that that might be the case." The Queen's voice was flat, but her eyes were compassionate. She glanced at Lord Alfred who was seated behind Edward, reading his own papers on the Household Cavalry. It was clear that he was trying to seem quite engrossed in his work but instead was listening carefully to Edward.</p>
<p>"I will be quite alright, Ma'am," Drummond said before returning to his notebook to continue briefing the Queen on her schedule.</p>
<p>"Drummond," she said with great care, the voice of a mother, "you know, it is understandable to not be alright."</p>
<p>Alfred put his papers down, ending the charade of work, and turned his full focus to the conversation happening just feet away from him.</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am. But I think what I need right now is work. It keeps me focused, reminds me that I'm doing something of value rather than wallowing."</p>
<p>"Of course, Sir Edward. But should that change, do let me know."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The last resounding notes from the organ started to fade, along with the voices as the priest had processed out of the chapel with the acolytes and others. From the back of the chapel, they turned and addressed the gathered congregation.</p>
<p>"Christ is risen! Alleluia!"</p>
<p>The congregation, the Queen included, replied "The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!" and without waiting for the organ to play the postlude, the Queen and Court moved to exit the chapel.</p>
<p>"I am never sure if I agree with the sermons or not," Prince Albert said as he filed out beside Victoria. "His sermons are either always saccharin sweet or hell fire and damnation."</p>
<p>Victoria laughed. "We can always ask the Archbishop for a new priest," the Queen said. "Though there is no promise he'd be any better."</p>
<p>Edward and Alfred brought up the rear of the Court. "How can someone take Easter and make it about Hell?" Edward asked as they filed past the priest.</p>
<p>Alfred merely shook his head.</p>
<p>Once in the Palace, Albert had already moved on, wondering aloud what Mr. Francatelli would be preparing for the Easter feast they'd be having that night.</p>
<p>Edward had to admit that he was glad it was going to be a meal for the Court rather than any rather large to do. Something he could share with Alfred.</p>
<p>The Princes and Princesses were running around playing, much the chagrin of their nannies; of course, Alfred was providing no help to the nannies. Instead, he was joining in the rough housing, riling the children up.</p>
<p>Edward watched on with a smile, quite astonished by how good Alfred was with children.</p>
<p>The Queen approached Drummond and they sat together at one of the tables set up in the ball room. They enjoyed tea while Alfred continued with the kids. "Russell's government is still struggling to find its footing," she said to her secretary.</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am. We did quite a bit of damage to their reputation. I expect most of the Prime Minister's agenda will be a fight, even if his legislation would typically pass without much fuss." His eyes continued to seek out Alfred and he wondered if that would ever change. He hoped not.</p>
<p>Alfred went running past with Prince Bertie on his shoulders.</p>
<p>"You know, Sir Edward," the monarch said as her eyes watched her son go past atop Alfred, "I think Lord Alfred would have made a rather good father. Don't you think?"</p>
<p>Edward's face was beaming watching Alfred with the children.</p>
<p>"I think you would be also," she continued.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty, you don't believe that I'm keeping Alfred from something that he wants terribly, do you - fatherhood, I mean?"</p>
<p>Victoria's focus switched from Alfred to Edward. "Drummond, I don't know Lord Alfred's thought's on being a father, I just think he'd make a good one. What I do know however, is that he loves you endlessly. And I think that what he would say to you is that as long as he has you, he has all he needs."</p>
<p>Edward smiled at the Queen. "I just don't want to keep him from having children if he had had his heart set on them."</p>
<p>"I think if Sir Alfred truly want's children as badly as all that, he would tell you. And I believe you two have the power together to get all of the desires of your hearts." The Queen rose from the table.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"I think," the Prince said as he stood from his seat next to the Queen, "that it is important on days such as this, this celebration of our salvation, that we remember and think on all that we are given. To be thankful."</p>
<p>A small chorus of 'here heres' rose from around the table.</p>
<p>"Such as family," Prince Albert continued. "We have such wonderful family. And our friends, those which we are surrounded by today and those who are distant." He'd begun waxing sentimental and Alfred struggled to pay attention, but he knew with absolute certainty what he was thankful for.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well folks I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry if it seemed sorta 'meh,' trust me it felt that way for me too; but it's important for the future. </p>
<p>Anyway, as always, let me know what you think and I'll see you all in a few days!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Libel and Slander</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edward recieves a visit at the Palace that he'd been promised. News of Alfred and Edward reach family and two new ladies in waiting arrive at Buckingham Palace.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a quiet day, the Queen and Prince Albert had retired early to their apartments and the rest of the Household were busy going about their own lives. Miss Coke was, as had seemingly become customary, playing the piano and trying to impress Prince Ernest, though his attention was clearly elsewhere. Edward and Alfred had been enjoying the warm light of the fire in the smaller sitting room. Seeing Edward sitting in there, with a small glass of port in his hand and a peaceful smile reminded Alfred only too well of one of their first flirtations, in that very room. <em>What are we going to talk about?</em> The memory of Drummond's flirtatious smile warmed him as he sat there with Drummond as it had more than a year ago.</p><p>A footman approached, the new fellow, tall and rather hulking. "Sir Edward, there is a lady here to see you."</p><p>Edward looked up in confusion, his eyes meeting Alfred's both men's brows knit together in confusion. "A lady?"</p><p>"Yes, sir. A miss Florence Kerr."</p><p>Alfred's heart rate spiked as he watched Edward's eyes grow to look like saucers.</p><p>"I'll attend her presently. Have her wait in the foyer."</p><p>The footman dropped his head and turned, making his exit.</p><p>"What on Earth does she want?" Alfred asked, his voice wavering slightly.</p><p>Edward's face betrayed his every feeling, his every fear. "I don't know," he said, rising form his seat.</p><p>Alfred rose too. "I'll come with you."</p><p>"No, I fear this is something I must face on my own." Alfred watched as Edward subtly slipped the ring off of his finger and pocketed it. His heart dropped a little. His first thought was that Edward was ashamed, but he knew, rationally, that Edward was merely trying to protect them both; the fewer suspicions, the better.</p><p>"Edward. I thought we were rather clear that neither of us would ever face any obstacles alone."</p><p>Edward nodded, understanding. "Yes Alfred, but if you come with me for what she clearly means to be a discussion with me, I fear it may arouse suspicions. I'm not convinced she doesn't already have them, and if you join me it might only serve as confirmation."</p><p>Alfred did not like the idea of <em>his</em> Edward facing his former fiancé alone - particularly if she meant to be injurious. "Then I shall walk through the foyer as though heading somewhere."</p><p>Edward nodded as he left the room.</p><p>"Miss Kerr," he said entering the grand entryway, his greeting rather formal for a woman he'd been betrothed to. "To what do I owe this visit, and at such an hour?"</p><p>"Miss Kerr?" she repeated, offense clear in her voice. Maybe a formal greeting hadn't been the best idea if it only stoked her anger further. "I've come to have a very frank conversation with you, <em>Edward</em>."</p><p>Edward could feel his heart pounding and was certain that Florence could - hell, the Queen probably could up in her apartments. "I see. Well, Florence, would you prefer to have this conversation in my office."</p><p>Her eyes narrowed. "No, I should think this will be fine. You've already humiliated me, Mister Drummond." She left any additional comment to herself, though it seemed rather understood that there was, at least in part, some hope on humiliating Drummond.</p><p>The approach of footsteps from one of the halls announced someone's approach. Edward was torn between hoping it was Alfred, as he had no need to feel humiliation around Alfred, who he loved so dearly; and hoping it was someone else, that Florence might not find reason to attack Alfred also. It was, indeed, Alfred as he seemed to drift through, his steps confident and dignified, the perfect courtier. Edward knew only too well that that well trained facade only masked the panic behind Alfred's blue eyes.</p><p>"Miss Kerr," he greeted politely as he seemed to drift through.</p><p>Her eyes locked onto him with the focus of a cat hunting a mouse. "Lord Alfred. I had hoped I might see you as well. Do stay."</p><p>Edward's eyes met Alfred's and he closed his eyes briefly as he tried to communicate wordlessly to Alfred. "Very well, Miss Kerr," Alfred said, without emotion as he approached.</p><p>"You know, Edward. I've been wringing my mind like a dish cloth since September. I could not for the life of me, imagine what had changed between us. Of course, as you said, I never had your heart. Well, Edward, I'm afraid you were wrong when you said you hadn't mine."</p><p>Edward's face crumpled as he remembered the adage, 'hell hath no fury...' He swallowed hard as he considered his words quite carefully. "Florence, I am so very sorry. I had never any intention of hurting or embarrassing you."</p><p>Florence eyes slid over his body, and then over Alfred's her eyes stopping briefly on Alfred's finger. "Lord Alfred, what a lovely ring of betrothal you have. I believe that was not the case when I saw you last."</p><p>"No, Miss Kerr. It was not."</p><p>She scanned over Edward again, her eyes searching. "I wonder Lord Alfred. Does the young lady know who her intended is? Or is she too to be blindsided by a sudden dismissal."</p><p>Alfred shifted uncomfortably.</p><p>"I'd rather hate for another young woman to be so crushed by the two of you. Not only are you disgusting but you're a menace."</p><p>Alfred straightened his back, his face set with mock indignation. "What exactly are you accusing me of, Miss Kerr?"</p><p>"Oh please, Paget. There's little question as to what sort of friendship you share with Edward. It's not as though your proclivities are a well kept secret. I've heard the mutterings in this very Palace."</p><p>"Yes, I'm well aware of the scurrilous rumors you seem to enjoy propagating. Slanderous even." His voice held an edge to it.</p><p>Florence was not about to back down. "You may call it slander now, Lord Paget. But my father will have proof." She leveled her steel gaze. "Imagine, if you will, a slander lawsuit that later proves to be true. Would the original lawsuit itself not be grounds for a slander suit?"</p><p>"What proof is it that you think you have, Miss Kerr?"</p><p>"Proof, Lord Alfred, I shall have in abundance." She turned her attention to Drummond. "You are aware that you haven't just embarrassed me, but my father also. Who has already been told by those in his circle that he failed to set up a good match. Of course, now he knows why." She began to turn away from them. "I shall see you both again before long."</p><p>"Florence," Edward said. "I am sorry."</p><p>"Save your apologies, Edward. I think you'll need them for Lord Alfred soon enough. Oh yes, shall I give your father your love, Edward?" She didn't say another word, simply walked through the door, leaving both men quite flabbergasted.</p><p>A moment passed, and then another, before either man dared speak. It was Edward who broke the silence. "She's going to destroy us." When Alfred didn't reply, Edward became increasingly more concerned. "Alfred, we will get through this, yes?"</p><p>"Yes." He did not sound convinced. He stayed perfectly still for a moment before he spoke again. "I think we should talk to the Queen in the morning."</p><p>Edward nodded as he reached into his pocket and slipped his ring back onto his finger.</p><p>"There's little we can do now. Come, let's try and rest."</p><p>***</p><p>Alfred had been right, there was nothing they could have done that night, but as Edward sat in his office the next morning, steeling himself for the conversation with the Queen, he'd wondered if they shouldn't have tried to speak with her as soon as Florence had left.</p><p>He'd just finished his notes and was preparing the Boxes when Brodie entered without knocking. "I'm sorry, Sir Edward, but I thought you might want a warning. There's a Mister Samuel Drummond here, and he's causing quite a fuss. I expect he'll be here in but a moment."</p><p>No sooner had Brodie finished the sentence than Edward's father came bursting into the office. "Leave us," he ordered Brodie.</p><p>The young man looked to Edward who nodded once and turned to his father. "Father, can I get you a drink?" It didn't matter that it was barely eight thirty, he was reaching for anything that might buy him just a few minutes.</p><p>Samuel cut directly to the point. "Your fiancé seems to think that you that you've given yourself over to disgusting, unnatural desires."</p><p>"I think you know, father, Florence is no longer my fiancé," Edward said as he slid his notebook closed. It did not do for his father to see his notes for the Queen or her schedule. "Did you come to ask me something, father, or just to parrot what Florence told you?"</p><p>His father was cherry-faced as he rose and tried to lean across the desk toward Edward. "Is that what you have to say for yourself, boy?" His eyes landed on the ring on Edward's finger. A dark snort sounded. "So if you're not to marry Florence, who is it you are engaged to, Edward? I suppose you imagine yourself to be with that repugnant Paget boy. I should like to heave him into the Thames."</p><p>Edward stood up, his hands trembling in anger as he placed his palms on the desktop and leaned, challenging his father. It was a terrifying experience; he'd never stood against Samuel Drummond. "If you so much as come near Alfred, I'll ensure that your bank accounts are seized by Her Majesty's treasury for unlawful threats against a member of the aristocracy and Royal Household."</p><p>For an instant it looked like his father might back down, but once the shock of his son challenging him had worn off, he only seemed to grow in rage. "You listen here you filthy little cretan, I have given you everything and you <em>are</em> going to marry Florence Kerr."</p><p>Edward sat down trying to calm himself. "Actually father, I'm not. I've already made that clear to her, at Her Majesty's insistence."</p><p>"You've dragged the Queen into this sick little game of yours then, have you?"</p><p>"Drummond," came the familiar voice from the door. Edward looked from his father to see Alfred standing there. "I'm sorry to interrupt. Her Majesty is waiting for the Boxes. And I dare say, she's not in a mood to be kept waiting this morning."</p><p>Samuel leveled his gaze at Alfred. "Paget." His tone was full of distain and Edward could practically watch Alfred's mask go up like a wall.</p><p>"Mister Drummond." Alfred nodded. "I'm sorry to have to steal Drummond away from you, but he is Her Majesty's Private Secretary."</p><p>"Edward?" His father's voice had softened as he turned his attention back to his son. "That's what this is all about then," he said gesturing around the finely appointed room. "You couldn't be bothered to tell you own family that you were part of the Royal Household. That you are an advisor to the Queen?"</p><p>He sounded hurt, but Edward could already see his father contemplating the opportunities that might come with his son being employed by the Queen. "Yes. You understand, I've been quite busy. My life's been most busy since I was shot."</p><p>"Drummond," Alfred said again, "the Queen."</p><p>Edward rose from the leather seat, as he grabbed his journal and the Boxes.</p><p>"This conversation isn't over, Edward," his father said as Edward started for the door.</p><p>"Yes father, it is."</p><p>The balding man grabbed for his son's arm, causing him to drop one of the Boxes. The lock held as it slammed into the floor scuffing the the brilliant, red leather.</p><p>Alfred stepped in from the doorway. "With respect, Mister Drummond, Sir Edward is needed. Now."</p><p>The elder Drummond's grip slackened and Edward slipped free. He scooped up the Box and rushed through the door, on his way to Victoria's study.</p><p>"I'll show you out, Mister Drummond," Alfred said, directing Samuel with a wave of his hand.</p><p>"It's true, then," he said with barely contained anger. "Everything Florence said this morning."</p><p>"I'm afraid, I don't know what you're talking about, sir," Alfred lied, his voice flat.</p><p>"Don't insult my intelligence, Paget. Why else would Edward keep such news from us?"</p><p>Alfred's patience was wearing very thin as he led the man through the halls of the Palace. "I'm sure Sir Edward has his reasons."</p><p>"Again. You called him sir. That's another secret that ungrateful wretch has kept. Like his association with you." He spat every word like it were venom from a snake.</p><p>"I'm not clear on what kind of person you think your son is, Mister Drummond, but I can tell you that Edward is only of the highest character and one of the most upstanding persons I have had the pleasure to know. And whatever you might think is a defect of his is just another of his great strengths. His compassion is not his weakness, though I see it is not a trait he inherited from you, sir. And I should say if you plan to use whatever it is you might think to be a character failing against him, then I dare say that speaks far more to your own flawed character that to Edward's."</p><p>"Listen here," the elder Drummond said, rounding on Alfred. "I don't know what sort of charms you've got Edward delusioning in but I have no plans to publicly denigrate my son. Surely even a depraved worm like you can see that would do nothing but bring shame upon myself. It would be better that I never see that boy again than to let that shame worm its way out."</p><p>Alfred had tried so hard to keep his mouth shut, to neither confirm nor deny anything between Drummond and him, but with each insult the father heaped on Edward, the more it wore down Alfred's restraint and he turned on the man. "You know, you may not support Edward and you may sever him from his family. but I can assure you that we will gladly take him. We will be Edward's family."</p><p>"Yes. It seems that you've already done that. The Queen as all your mother, you as some ring leader drawing him into temptation."</p><p>"I speak of the Pagets, not the Household," Alfred said as he turned on his heel and started again, leading him to the foyer. Once they'd arrived at the door, Alfred turned to Samuel and said "I would wish you well until we meet again, but I must admit that I pray that we don't." He turned his back on the man and walked back into the Palace, headed for the Queen.</p><p>***</p><p>Edward was doing a good job of hiding his fear from the Queen as they went through the Boxes, though she had noticed the scuff on the one. "After your scheduled audience with the Prime Minister, Ma'am, you'll be meeting and welcoming two new Ladies-in-Waiting to Court. You selected them last month and they've arrived." He glanced down at his notes. "A Duchess Sophie of Monmouth and a Lady Cecilia Wyndham." The Queen nodded as Alfred came through the door.</p><p>"Lord Alfred. I feared we had lost you."</p><p>Alfred moved stiffly across the room. "Not at all, Your Majesty. I was showing Drummond's father out."</p><p>"Sir Edward. Your father was here? You should have brought him up for a brief audience."</p><p>Edward shifted. "I don't think he was particularly interested in niceties, Ma'am. He'd come to rake me over the coals about the termination of my engagement."</p><p>Victoria looked confused. "Surely, he's not just learning about it."</p><p>Alfred moved to stand next to Edward. "Drummond's father had a visit this morning from Miss Kerr. She described her suspicions to him and he'd come seeking confirmation."</p><p>The Queen's gaze moved between them. "And does he have his confirmation?"</p><p>"No, nothing was confirmed. But he knows none-the-less."</p><p>Alfred put his arm lovingly on the small of Drummond's back. "He's too afraid of what that sort of gossip might do to him. I don't think he's of any threat. I'm far more concerned about Lothian."</p><p>"Yes," Victoria said. "Let's not poke that particular lion until we must."</p><p>***</p><p>"Duchess Monmouth, Lady Cecilia, it is a great pleasure to welcome you to Court," Alfred said as he lead the two women through the hallways of the Palace. "It is always a great benefit to the Court when lovely ladies such as yourselves join us. Ladies," he said stopping at a door that blended in with the oak paneling of the hallway. Had it not been for the small bronze handle one wouldn't know there was anything there. The door opened to an other, narrower hall that ran beside the grand corridor. Doors lined one side of the corridor. "Back here are the apartments for all the ladies of Court. Duchess, your apartments are here," he said stopping at a door. He opened it for the Duchess and once she walked in he continued on with Lady Cecilia.</p><p>"That's a lovely ring you have, Lord Alfred." She sounded slightly disappointed. It was no secret that many young ladies came to Court with hopes of finding a suitable husband. "I imagine your inamorata is a very lucky lady."</p><p>Alfred didn't respond, he simply smiled at her.</p><p>"I hope I might get to meet her some day," Cecilia continued.</p><p>"Here are your apartments, Lady Cecilia." He opened the door much as he had for the Duchess. "If there is anything else you require, do let me know." Alfred set off down the corridor for the exit.</p><p>"Lord Alfred, is your intended a member of Court?"</p><p>"My love is often present, yes." Without another word, Alfred slipped through the door and returned to the large, open corridor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooo drama! ha! I hope you guys are enjoying. I know I am.</p><p>See you guys in a few days.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Freedom to Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alfred's brother Clarence is visiting and over dinner with the Queen, he spills some Paget family history. Edward's father seems to be trying to make amends but what sort of game is he playing?</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alfred was enjoying the few days off. It had seemed like he had been wound up for weeks, since Drummond's father had come to the Palace and now Alfred was enjoying the chance to show his older brother brother, Clarence, the grounds and the best parts of London. He'd wished Edward would have been able to ride along also, but the needs of the Queen...</p>
<p>The spring was warming quickly to summer and Alfred was basking in the sunlight as his brother rode along side him.</p>
<p>"You know Alf, you'll burn far too quickly if you keep looking to the sky. Paget skin is not meant for this sort of light," he joked. "I wonder what your Edward would think if you came back looking like a tomato."</p>
<p>Alfred laughed as he bent forward to pat the side of the horse's neck. "I rest easy in the confidence that Edward wouldn't be all that affected should I come back rather burned."</p>
<p>Both men laughed as they continued on through the Park on their way back to Buckingham.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"I'm sure Her Majesty will be most delighted to hear about your expedition, Clarence. I just hope you're not planning on signing up for another of your adventures in madness to some frozen hell." Alfred and Clarence were moving through the Palace at a relaxed speed. "You really ought to go dress for dinner. I'll collect Edward and we shall both see you in the dining room."</p>
<p>The brothers Paget split to go their separate ways and Alfred found himself moving to toward Edward's office rather merrily. It seemed that a few days with his brother were just what he had been needing. He rounded the corner and as he saw the open door to Edward's office, he called ahead of himself. "Darling, I'm back from the outing," he said, only a partial jest. He instantly regretted it however, as rounded into his beloved's office.</p>
<p>Sitting in the chair opposite Edward with what was clearly a fake smile was his father. "Oh... Sir Edward. I apologize... I'm-"</p>
<p>Samuel turned toward him in full, his smile growing even still. "Sir Alfred, please join us." Even in the sickly sweet demeanor, Alfred could tell the elder Drummond saw him with distain.</p>
<p>Alfred stepped into the office. "Edward?"</p>
<p>"Sit, Alfred. My father was just telling me of some of the problems around his and mother's home; repairs needing done and staff needing hired."</p>
<p>Alfred looked to Drummond's father, he didn't try to mask the skeptical look behind the courtier's mask. "Oh, I'm sure he has plenty to talk about. Clarence is dressing for dinner, Edward. I imagine you should like to as well."</p>
<p>Edward looked to his father. "Lord Alfred is right, father. I should be finishing up. We can continue this at another time."</p>
<p>Samuel rose, "Of course, Edward. I hope soon." He turned to Alfred. "It was a pleasure to see you again, Lord Alfred. As it always is." He turned and withdrew from the room.</p>
<p>Edward looked to Alfred. "Well. That was... queer."</p>
<p>"I'm not sure about that. I've no doubt he has a reason for suddenly being so ingratiating."</p>
<p>Edward stood and came around the desk to join Alfred. "My father doesn't do anything without reason. I'm sure he's calculating some long plan out. He wants something, I'm sure. He's probably hoping I can secure him a peerage."</p>
<p>"I hope you wouldn't consider using your-"</p>
<p>"I wouldn't think of it. That would be abuse. Besides that, after what he did last time I saw him... I'd never help reward him with giving him any real authority to wield."</p>
<p>Both laughed as the stepped into the hallway. Edward secured the bolt of his office door and together they made their way to their own apartments.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"And in those nights that last for months, your greatest fears are always just around the next corner, even in the hull of your own ship." Clarence was telling he the Queen of the great adventure he'd been on. "It's not unusual in the winter for the water around your ship to freeze solid, trapping you in the ice until the spring thaw. But by then who knows how far the ice flow has moved you."</p>
<p>"It sounds like quite the harrowing experience, Lord Clarence." Lady Cecilia was leaning hard across the table in Clarence Paget's direction. Alfred watched with a smile as his brother realized that the Lady-in-Waiting was falling victim to the Paget charms.</p>
<p>"I imagine, Lord Clarence, that you must be quite the comfort in those trying times. I had often been by my first Prime Minister, Lord Melbourne, told that every battalion or squadron should have a Paget among them. Heaven knows how heavily I rely on my own Paget." The Queen lifted her glass toward Alfred.</p>
<p>"I like to think I'm of some use, Ma'am. It's always our hope that the Paget clan is more than just a family of lovely ornaments. Though we are ornament's in our own right. Wouldn't you agree... Drummond?"</p>
<p>Edward was utterly shocked but Clarence's directness. "I um... Yes?" A small giggle circled the table. "No? I'm sorry, I really don't know how I should answer." He looked to the Queen, then Alfred, and back to the Queen.</p>
<p>"Honestly, Sir Edward," the Queen said with a smile.</p>
<p>He blushed and looked across the table at Alfred. "Then, I'd heartily say that the answer is yes."</p>
<p>Alfred smiled at him as he held his glass before his lips.</p>
<p>Clarence laughed. "What a scandal you two are!"</p>
<p>Another laugh went around the table, even the two new members of Court laughed, though it was likely so as to fit in, not that they understood the joke. Even Prince Albert laughed a bit and Edward thought that perhaps the Prince Consort was coming around to he and Alfred's <em>rapport</em>.</p>
<p>And truly Edward hated that, coming up with all these words to define them that skirted the truth of what he felt they were. In any couple that was a man and woman, it would be recognized as a courtship, a relationship even, possibly more. They shared their apartments and even a bed. It was really much more as though they were a married couple, just as Alfred had said he intended. But he couldn't even call Alfred his spouse within the walls of the Buckingham Palace. It wasn't that Edward wasn't grateful for everything that Queen Victoria had done, he just wanted more. He wanted to be able to hold Alfred's hand without having it hidden beneath the table. He wanted to be able to show some affection without it being subtle brushes and surreptitious glances. He wanted to look at Alfred and tell him he loved him without hiding or telegraphing with some unspoken code.</p>
<p>Clarence was talking again about his travels and Edward had missed just how Clarence had gotten on the topic of France. "The countryside is really quite pastoral and calming," Clarence said. "And it's filled with hidden gems, much like our own countryside. It's really not so different."</p>
<p>Victoria nodded. "Yes, we were in Paris about this time last year."</p>
<p>"A nation of Sodom and Gomorrah," the Duchess of Buccleuch said, reaching for her drink.</p>
<p>"Would that be because of Code Napoleon, Duchess?" Clarence asked.</p>
<p>The old woman scoffed. "Hardly. It's a country of anarchist revolutionaries who long ago discarded any sense of decency."'</p>
<p>Miss Coke felt the need to interpret the Duchess's meaning. "My aunt's brother was killed at Trafalgar, Lord Clarence. You'll forgive her for her personal feelings toward the French"</p>
<p>"Of course, Miss Coke, Duchess. I would agree that the French are not all together respectable. Louis Philippe's deceit of Your Majesty," he turned to the Queen with a light bow of the head before returning to his general conversation, "is proof enough of their incivility. But we must admit that the Code Napoleon certainly establishes the French as a forward thinking people. It is truly a shame that we cannot have an equivalent here in Britain."</p>
<p>Albert shifted. "Indeed, Sir Clarence. I think you are right, the French attitude toward interpersonal relations is most forward thinking but you see there are aspects to your so called 'Code Napoleon' that would not work here."</p>
<p>"And why not Your Royal Highness? Surely you can see the merits of working toward a more free society. One that does not lay such arcane ideas as to who or what constitutes love on the altar of some fear held by the Roman Catholic Church, a church I might add, we broke free from for the very reasons I lay before you - marital control. I do not see why such a code could not stand here as it does there."</p>
<p>It seemed that Clarence had struck some kind of nerve with the Prince. "BECAUSE THIS IS ENGLAND; NOT FRANCE, Lord Clarence!"</p>
<p>"Albert!" the Queen chided.</p>
<p>"I believe I have had my fill." Albert rose from the table and walked out of the room.</p>
<p>"You'll have to forgive Albert, Lord Clarence," the Queen began. "I don't believe he holds such ideals as you called archaic close. But Albert does have a rather sticky affinity with the French. And I fear the mention of Henry VIII might have been what pushed him over the edge. He is not a strong supporter of the idea of divorce."</p>
<p>"Of mistresses, then?" Clarence Paget was shocking yet charming to say the least. "Forgive me, Your Majesty. I'm not sure what you know of the Paget history but divorce is nearly as sacred to us as marriage."</p>
<p>"Clarence," Alfred scolded.</p>
<p>"I'm afraid I don't understand." The Queen's eyes bounced from one Paget to the other, waiting on an explanation.</p>
<p>"I joke, of course, about divorce but before our mother and father married, they were married to others, the marriages that had been planned for them since childhood. But it turned out that our father, Henry Paget encountered Lady Charlotte Cadogan, the wife of Henry Wellesley. They began a courtship and Lady Charlotte divorced her husband at the same time the Marquess, our father, divorced his wife. Before the ink was dry on their divorces, Lord Henry and Lady Charlotte eloped. They had eleven children, two of which sit before you this evening, Ma'am."</p>
<p>The Queen took a sip from her wine glass. "I do admit that I am a bit scandalized. I would never have thought that the respectable Marquess and Lady Paget had such a sordid past."</p>
<p>"I do not mean to scandalize, Ma'am. Rather to explain that for Pagets, we tend not to give a fig about formalities and social expectations. We find that matters of the heart should be left to the heart, not what someone plans for you. Surely you have noticed that Alfred had not been betrothed to some lady of high standing." Clarence looked to his brother and back to the Queen. "Not that he'd have been able to go through with it, but none of us had our lives planned out for us. Mother and Papa were far more concerned with ensuring we were happy with who we chose to marry, to spend our lives with. Not social climbing."</p>
<p>Edward finally understood Alfred's willingness to risk himself but not Edward. He had never had the dark weight of his family's plans for him. He'd been raised to love unreservedly.</p>
<p>"I believe I understand, Lord Clarence, as I did not marry Albert because of some familial expectation but rather because I love him. In fact, when he was brought to the England, I was rather determined to hate the man, for the simple sake that my Uncle had been so much in favor of my bonding with him. But in the end I married Albert not because it was expected but because I love him. I think all of England could indeed take a lesson from your parents, Lords Paget."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"I didn't know that about your parents, Alfred," Edward said as they got ready for bed. "Why have you never told me?"</p>
<p>"My darling, it is not my story to tell. I thought it enough that you knew we had their support. I hardly felt is was my place to share my parents' lives. Though clearly the same cannot be said for Clarence."</p>
<p>Edward laughed as he pulled his night clothes on. "No, it would seem not. Though I admit that I would have liked to know. It provides me with a better understanding of you."</p>
<p>"And is that a good thing, Edward?" There was a tinge of concern in Alfred's voice that he was trying so very hard to mask.</p>
<p>Edward wrapped his arm around the blond's waist. "It is a very good thing, Alfred. It shows me why you are as loving as you are. It shows me that that is who you are, my love, that this loving and giving man who is standing here in my arms is exactly who he was brought up to be. That love is what's been ingrained in you from the start and it is love that you will always fall back on."</p>
<p>"Edward, how is it that I'm the one who reads poetry and yet you are the one who rhapsodizes so beautifully. I think you might have the soul of a poet in you somewhere."</p>
<p>Edward turned the man around, bringing them face to face. "I could only ever rhapsodize about you." He placed a chaste kiss on Alfred's lips. "And I expect I've now quite exhausted my poetic prose." Alfred laughed as Edward leaned in for another kiss, not quite as restrained as the last.</p>
<p>Alfred nuzzled their noses together, much in the same way he'd done in Scotland, before Edward leaned in and claimed his mouth. He placed his hand on Alfred's hips and led the shorter man to the bed.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Edward had just finished his morning meeting with the Queen and was sitting down to get some paperwork done. As he'd returned to his office, he had stopped and asked one of the footmen to bring him some tea. The tall, new, young footman - Joseph, he thought the man was called - brought the tea and turned starting for the door. He ducked down only to pop back up just a moment later. "I think you dropped this, Sir Edward," he said, dropping a folded sheet of paper onto Edward's desk before he retreated from the room.</p>
<p>Edward took a drink of his tea and slid his journal aside. He didn't recognize the small slip of paper, though that meant little anymore, papers were coming in and out of his office on such a regular basis he was bound to forget the particular stationary of the odd memorandum.</p>
<p>He flipped the note open, surprised to see the sigil of the Marquess of Lothian on it. It had been addressed to his father, and dated just days before. Edward scanned the sheet, reading the hurried script of the Marquesses handwriting, the letters stubby, with little care put into their creation. Drops of ink dotted the page, but it was clear enough what Lothian was saying. Now Edward knew what his father was up to.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"I'm just beside myself, Alfred. I knew he was playing at something but this!"</p>
<p>Alfred was watching as Edward paced the floor of their small sitting room. "Surely you knew this was a possibility, Edward. If Lothian is half as cruel as the rumors say, it seemed that he was always going to try to drag your father down." Alfred was right. Everything he knew about Lothian confirmed the rumors, and he had more than once wondered to himself if his daughter hadn't inherited some of his cruelty.</p>
<p>"Of course I knew, Alfred. I do know how the world works, but I'm not talking about Lothian, I'm talking about my father." Alfred glanced at Edward but let him continue. "That's what this new demeanor is about. It's entirely about my relationship to the Queen."</p>
<p>"You did say you knew him to be working in his own self interests. I suppose I'm not surprised that he might try to use you."</p>
<p>"Do you know what is worst about all of this, Alfred? I don't know who raised me any more. The man I used to know, the Samuel Drummond who raised me, who was kind and caring, and would get on the ground when he came home from the bank to play with me when I was a child. Or who worried over me when I was quite ill with fever. I don't know where that man has gone or if he ever truly existed."</p>
<p>Alfred listened closely. He wanted to tell Edward that the father he'd grown up with was still in there and cared for him, loved him even and wanted him to be happy, but experience told him that the father Edward had grown with, was gone. Families like the Pagets were rare. Truly it was a miracle that Samuel Drummond hadn't tried to report either of them for indecency crimes. "Edward, my darling. I cannot imagine the dissonance you're feeling, and I wish I had an answer for you. But all I can tell you is that I am here for you, always. And that I think it would be a terribly bad idea to try and get Her Majesty to intervene on his behalf."</p>
<p>"Of course, not. But what am I to tell him when he asks."</p>
<p>Alfred thought for a moment before he answered. "I think you don't let him ask. Summon him here and confront him about it. Ask him if the law suit was why he was trying to get close to you again. And be direct."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay folks, confession time... I came way too close to completely forgetting about this today. I spend several hours on one of my original manuscripts and V:ALS almost complete fell of the radar. BUT I remembered at the last minute and ever was able to give it a cursory edit, sooooo 'VICTORY'</p>
<p>Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. Let me know in comments and kudos and see you guys in a few days.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Closing Ranks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edward's father's motivations become clear. Lothian tries to create problems for Edward, Alfred and the Queen.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Edward, my boy! I was so happy to get your note. It was quite the moment at the bank when I received it and the seal of the Queen was so clear on the paper." Drummond's father had come straight over to the Palace, as soon as he'd received Edward's letter. He was so caught up in his feigned pride that he missed Alfred sitting in one of the large chairs.</p>
<p>"Father, why don't you come in and have a seat. Would you care for a brandy, perhaps?"</p>
<p>Samuel nodded and reached for the glass his son offered him, only then as he turned to sit did he realize it wasn't just he and his son. "Oh, Lord Alfred." His face flashed his true feelings, a show of disgust and flat out hatred. "So very good to see you again."</p>
<p>"Samuel," was all Alfred could muster.</p>
<p>Edward's father settled into his chair and took a big mouthful of the brandy Edward had offered him. "Good Lord, Edward, this is quite good! Where did you get it?"</p>
<p>"A footman brings it up from the cellars." Edward dismissed his father's question, but he could see his father hurt. Edward had become so accustomed to the life in the Household that he hadn't even noticed the quality of the brandy tucked away in the corner of his office - brandy that was rather low quality compared to some of the other served throughout the Palace. What had become day-to-day for Edward was something his father could never dream of, but what was most bothersome about the realization was that he could not see happiness for him on his father's face, there was no pride in Edward's achievements. It was jealousy and masked repulsion. Any pity he'd had for his father, any sympathy or fondness from memories of his childhood evaporated.</p>
<p>"Father, what are you playing at?" He wasted no time.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, what?"</p>
<p>Edward tugged open a drawer on his desk as he spoke. "I know you're not trying to reconnect or build some lost paternal affinity. You're after something." Samuel had the gall to act hurt by Edward's words. "Don't father." Edward's eyes flickered to Alfred who was watching him with steel in his eyes; a constant support. "I want know what game you're playing at," he said as he handed the note from Lothian to his father. "I assume you dropped this by mistake."</p>
<p>The mask dropped. "He's trying to ruin me, all because you couldn't ever bother to try to marry Lothian's daughter. You've ruined your family, Edward. I think it's only right that you pay the price for your filth."</p>
<p>Edward leaned back in his chair. "No, you did this. It's never been a secret who Lothian is, what kind of family you were trying to marry me off into. And now I wonder if you ever truly cared or were using me from birth to get a title in your family. Well, let me tell you father, you got one either way. Another thing that you missed was my Investiture. Her Majesty, in following with tradition has made me the baronet of Conwy."</p>
<p>"A baronet?" Samuel said excitedly. "That would make me-"</p>
<p>"The father of a baronet; nothing more," Alfred finished coldly.</p>
<p>"The point to all of this, father, is that I've recently realized that what's most important in life is love and happiness, and just because you don't seem to agree or understand that, and because you think your own happiness and prestige should come at the cost of my own happiness just reinforces why I cannot allow myself, in anyway, to help you. I will not compromise what I believe to be right, or take advantage of my friendship with the Queen to help you out of a sticky situation. I know that calling off the marriage has some financial repercussions. And believe it or not Alfred," he did not bother to pretend, "has offered to generously give you a sum of fifty pounds to offset your legal woes. But this is the last I want to hear about it. There is no marriage and there won't be, not to Florence." He glanced to Alfred.</p>
<p>"You really are an ungrateful prat. After what I did to get you into a respectable family like Lothian's -"</p>
<p>Edward cut him off. "I was clear that I would hear no more. If you continue, you'll lose what we're already giving you."</p>
<p>As hard a tack as Edward was taking, Alfred could see him trembling.</p>
<p>Samuel sat in quiet indignation at what he felt was his son's insolence. "Listen, Edward," rage was steaming and his face was red. "Fifty pounds is grossly under what Lothian is demanding."</p>
<p>"And yet, Mister Drummond," Alfred said, not waiting for Edward, "it is what we are offer."</p>
<p>"I wasn't speaking to you."</p>
<p>Edward looked up. "You should be addressing us both. We came to this decision together."</p>
<p>Samuel's eyes narrowed. The consistent use of 'we' was all but confirmation of what Florence had told him about his son's disgusting affiliation with Alfred Paget.</p>
<p>"Joseph," Edward said, his voice raised ever so slightly. The door opened and a footman in red appeared. "Please show my father out."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>In the days since Edward had dismissed his father, he'd received multiple letters from his father, updates on what the Marquess was willing to offer, what he was threatening, what Samuel Drummond's short fall would be, financially. If he would even pay Lothian at all. The tenor of the notes ranged from begging for more help too flat out hatred. That particular morning, he received what he expected to be the last.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Edward,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As you have not seen fit to respond to any of my letters, it has become abundantly clear to your mother and I that you have given you family up for your new life of excess and depravity. I can not longer try and save you from yourself and I shall not try. You have led your own father to ruin and before this day is up you will have brought shame to the entirety of the Drummond name. You will not hear from us again, but you don't seem to need your family any longer either as you now have the Queen and her toy, Princess Paget.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Goodbye,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Samuel Drummond</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Edward was surprised to find that the words in the note did not hurt as much as he expected. For a moment he debated destroying the letter, throwing it into the fire, but he decided to keep it, to let it serve as a reminder of his father's coldness when he found himself regretting his lost family. The chime of the clock on the mantle piece dragged him back to his responsibilities. In just moments, Alfred would be walking with Her Majesty to her study, and he'd be expected shortly after with newspapers, the Queen's schedule and the Boxes. He flipped open his journal and started making notes of news stories to brief the monarch on from the Times. He was pleased to see that there was nothing too unusual. Reports of merchant ships coming and going, the odd missing person. The opening of several new coal mining locations in Wales and the growth of railroad lines across the country.</p>
<p>He moved to the London Herald and started scanning the front page. The Herald contained most of the same stories and reports as the Times but as his eyes worked lower down the page, his heart stopped.</p>
<p>'QUEEN'S COURT FILLED WITH DEVIANTS AND SODOMITES'</p>
<p>Edward felt instantly nauseous, but he kept reading, looking for any mention of names. Neither his nor Alfred's names were explicitly stated but the veiled hints left little question. The article went on to name the source and Edward was not surprised to see the Marquess of Lothian's name.</p>
<p>Edward rolled the paper up and grabbed the Boxes. He moved through the Palace with speed and determination and even he couldn't tell if what he felt was fear or anger, though in the end it didn't matter. The results were the same either way. At that moment, only the readership of the Herald had seen Lothian's accusations, but no doubt by the evening edition, most other papers would have picked the story up, some may even have names by then.</p>
<p>This was the end for him. He'd embarrassed the Crown. Alfred would probably be alright. The Pagets were an old family and had weathered many scandals, they'd weather this one. They'd close ranks around Alfred and protect him. He may even keep his place in Court. But Edward was self made. He had not historic aristocracy or nobility to protect him and he could not imagine the Pagets would circle him as well, even if they did seem to like him; even if he was with Alfred. No, Edward's career was over, his life was over. He'd carry out his duties one last time and resign. He took a deep breathe, trying to steady himself and knocked on the door.</p>
<p>To his surprise, when he entered the Queen's study, she already had a copy of the Herald in her hands and was reading the article. "The Marquess claims that Her Majesty's closest advisors and some of the most influential members of the Queen's Court are in fact guilty of breaking decency laws. Lothian says he's unaware if Her Majesty is aware of the adders living under her own roof, though there is little doubt that an inquisition of the Household is soon to follow." She was actually laughing as she read it.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty. I see you've seen the morning news," he said as he approached. "I'm sorry that I've caused such an embarrassment to you, Ma'am. You shall have my resignation by lunch."</p>
<p>Alfred looked at him. "I've already tried that, Edward. Her Majesty wouldn't have it."</p>
<p>"But Ma'am, the monarchy doesn't need another scandal so soon after India."</p>
<p>The Queen looked up from the newspaper on her desk. "It's rather bold of Lothian, wouldn't you say, to not only to be so forward to the papers but to put his name to it?"</p>
<p>"Ma'am?" Edward said very confused to the Queen's reaction.</p>
<p>"Do you think Lothian knows Lord Alfred?"</p>
<p>"I can't say that I've ever met him, Ma'am."</p>
<p>"Good. Drummond, summon the Seventh Marquess of Lothian. I should like to see him later today."</p>
<p>Edward shifted. "Ma'am, your schedule is already rather full today. I'm not sure that we can find time to fit the Marquess in."</p>
<p>"Tell the Russian ambassador that we have to postpone lunch," Victoria instructed. "Move whatever you need, but get him here today."</p>
<p>"Yes, Your Majesty." Edward backed out of the room and headed for his office, the very idea of writing to the man who had been meant to be his father-in-law was filling him with anxiety but the Queen was clear.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>From the window, Alfred could see the Marquess's carriage pull up to the entrance of the Palace and he made his way to the door to greet him. He'd made sure his red uniform was perfect and he was going to ensure that the Marquess got the full treatment - the same treatment that each Prime Minister and dignitary got, the treatment that reminded them that it didn't matter what their status was, they were about to meet the most powerful human being on the face of the Earth and reminded them just how small they were; an explanation of protocols that in and of itself could feel insulting.</p>
<p>Two footman opened the doors and a man a bit taller than Alfred entered with a sneering grin. "The Queen has summoned me to point out her little degenerates."</p>
<p>"Marquess, I am the Queen's Chief Equerry. If you'll follow me and pay very close attention as I have time to explain this to you once." He led Lothain through the corridors toward the Throne Room, where Victoria was seated in full regalia. Alfred spoke quickly and with a clipped affect, throwing details at Lothian faster than he hoped he could catch. "Sir, the protocol is as follows: When you're announced, bow from the neck. First time you see the Queen you say 'Your Majesty.' After that it's 'Ma'am;' rhymes with 'ham.' Until you leave then it's 'Your Majesty' again. Don't sit until she sits. Don't talk until she does. Absolutely no physical contact, other than to take her hand; if and only if she offers it. No small talk unless she invites it. At the end she'll indicate for me to lead you out. Bow from the neck and walk back towards me. Under no circumstances do you turn your back on the Sovereign." He stopped at the imposing double doors to the Throne Room. "Any questions?" he offered without waiting for Lothian's reply as he nodded to the footmen to open the doors. Alfred stepped into the room, proceeded to the very center and turned smartly, directly to his left and bowed his head. "The Seventh Marquess of Lothian," he said with perfect diction before he backed toward the wall furthest from the Throne.</p>
<p>Lothian entered and moved to stand where Alfred had. He bowed, but slightly from the waist. Behind him, Alfred cleared his throat, indicating his error. "Your Majesty," the Marquess said, sneer still clear in his voice. He glanced around to see there was no seat prepared for him as the Queen sat down on the Throne.</p>
<p>An uncomfortable silence hung in the air like a fog. "Marquess," the Queen finally said. "It seems that you feel you have some information about members of my Court and Household."</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am." He approached the Throne and Alfred cleared his throat again, bringing Lothian to a stop. It was clear he was becoming very irritated, being corrected. "You see, my daughter was engaged to your Private Secretary, Mister Edward Drummond."</p>
<p>"Sir Edward Drummond," the Queen corrected him.</p>
<p>"Excuse me?" Lothian seemed to be shocked why the Queen's correction.</p>
<p>"Sir Edward Drummond, Marquess. I have made him a Baronet."</p>
<p>"I think you will soon find that to have been a mistake, Your Majesty." Again, Alfred cleared his throat and Lothian twisted to glare at him. Alfred lifted his brow, indicating that the Marquess had turned his back, but the Queen scolded before Lothian could turn.</p>
<p>"I believe it is customary to keep ones face to the person to whom you are addressing, Marquess. Particularly true when that is the Sovereign."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Ma'am." He paused, seemingly trying to take account of where he'd left off.</p>
<p>"I believe you were about to tell me of my failures." Ice ran in the Queen's voice.</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am. Sir Edward Drummond was engaged to be married to my daughter, Florence. He broke that engagement off."</p>
<p>"Yes, I met your daughter Marquess. She seemed to have the same problem with Royal protocols as you."</p>
<p>Lothian was becoming visibly more irritated by the monarch half his age. "Yes well. He called off the engagement when he became unnaturally close with a member of your Court - A Lord Alfred Paget. Florence has told me that Paget has a known reputation as a pillow biter among the staff of the Household and has even been called 'Lady Alfred.' It became most clear to me that Drummond and Paget are engaged in some delusional affinity for each other, living as though they were betrothed. And certainly having the sexual relation of sodomites. Drummond's father has all but confirmed it to me."</p>
<p>"What would be your point, Marquess?" the Queen's voice had an edge to it.</p>
<p>"Ma'am, you have repugnant, depraved acts happening in the walls of your Palace."</p>
<p>"I've yet to hear your point."</p>
<p>"You need to act, Ma'am. Remove them. Have them arrested."</p>
<p>Victoria leveled her gaze at Lothian. "Is that an instruction? To your Sovereign?" When Lothian did not respond, clearly taken aback by the Queen's question, she continued. "I cannot imagine what business of yours it is what Lord Alfred and Sir Edward do or feel. You are entitled to you restitution against Drummond's father but you are not entitled to use something such as this to try and destroy two men, and you will most certainly not drag the Crown into your mud and muck in your frankly, pitiful attempt to claw yourself out of your low standing among your peers. Marquess, I've made some inquiries myself and found that you are indebted to have the nobility of England and have no friends among the aristocracy. I find your actions to be that of a desperate, small, pitiable man, and I'm repulsed by your very presence in Buckingham Palace."</p>
<p>"Ma'am." He tried again.</p>
<p>"Lord Alfred, show this... creature out."</p>
<p>Lothian spun, his locking onto the Queen's Chief Equerry, completely unaware that the young man he'd been so hatefully speaking of had been there the entire time.</p>
<p>Alfred approached the Throne, and bowed his head - from the neck. "Your Majesty," he said as he backed away, leading Lothian out.</p>
<p>The Marquess was cherry faced as Alfred led him through the hallways. "Drummond," he said as his eyes caught the Private Secretary at the other end of the hallway. "She maybe protecting you but this isn't the end!"</p>
<p>Alfred stopped dead in his tracks. "You know, sir, with respect, I believe this is the end. I understand that you, the seventh Marquess of Lothian, owe my father, the first Marquess of Anglesey a sizable amount of money. Papa, says more than the value of your estate." Edward had come up to join the blond as he spoke, rather pointedly, to Lothian. He'd been unaware that Alfred had had any contact with his father lately. "He wanted it clear, sir, that if you felt the need to threaten myself or Sir Edward again, your debts will come due. You see, sir. Pagets look after their own. And as you've just <em>reminded</em> the Queen, Drummond is indeed one of our own. We learned many years ago that when one of us are under attack we stick together. My father was a hero of Waterloo, sir. We are a family of soldiers and we do not back down, we close ranks."</p>
<p>The Marquess was shaking with anger. Alfred turned and smiled affectionately at Edward before he turned back on Lothian.</p>
<p>"Now, sir, you <em>will</em> come with me."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry I didn't post over the weekend. It was a busy few days for me. But here's the next chapter. I plan to spend this weekend working on one of my personal manuscripts so I'll post the next chapter next week (or if you ask really nicely, maybe sooner. :P)</p>
<p>Anyway, see you guys in a few days.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chartists, Chop, and Chalk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A Chartist candidate challenges Whig MP Palmerston, Albert retreats to his personal project on the Isle of Wight. Victoria, aware of the strain recent events have put on Edward and Alfred, and unclear about what Albert's pet project - Osborne House - is becoming, sends her Secretary and Equerry to take a look and enjoy a holiday.</p>
<p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Do you really think this Chartist, Harney, can really give Palmerston a run?" the Queen asked going through the boxes for the day.</p>
<p>"I don't know, Ma'am," Alfred said. "It seems to me that the Chartists are more interested in trying to direct the conversation rather than get into the House. If he can give Palmerston at least a little challenge - even one percent of the local vote, he'll of had some ability to control the direction of the campaign. It stands to be a much better recruitment opportunity than a legitimate run on Parliament."</p>
<p>"Alfred's right, Ma'am." Edward said. "They're supporters all tend to be the working class. It seems unlikely that a movement to give every man a right to vote would be well supported by the land owners of the this country."</p>
<p>Victoria nodded her head. "Well then... It seems a shame that none of them can at least impart a shred of concern into Palmerston." Both men laughed with the Queen as she read over the news for the morning.</p>
<p>"Edward," Alfred started, "when is His Royal Highness expected to leave for Osborne House?"</p>
<p>Drummond looked to the Queen and then to Alfred, a topic he did not want to broach. "His Royal Highness, Prince Albert left quite early this morning."</p>
<p>"Oh has he? Has he indeed?" The Queen's demeanor changed quickly. "Without telling me or anyone else no doubt."</p>
<p>"He took three footman ma'am."</p>
<p>Alfred was aghast. "What on Earth does he do down there?"</p>
<p>"He says," Victoria said, not masking her skepticism, "that he must meet with the architect again. That he's had some inspiration."</p>
<p>"How much inspiration does he get?" Alfred asked. "The Prince has been back and forth between here and Wight since June."</p>
<p>Victoria rose. "I should like to take the air in the gardens."</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am."</p>
<p>The trio, Victoria, Drummond and Alfred walked through the gardens; a light breeze kept the August air from feeling too stagnant and made for a very nice afternoon.</p>
<p>"When we first purchased Osborne, I thought it would be a lovely little cottage to escape from London to." She wasn't specifically talking to them but they listened none the less. "It wasn't difficult for us to realize that it was simply too small. I thought we were just adding to the house but I'm not sure that's the case any longer. I fear he's building a whole new Osborne House." She was irritated, confused, possibly hurt by Albert not cluing her in. "You know, you could go down in my stead, the both of you."</p>
<p>Edward and Alfred looked to each other, a smile on their faces before they reconsidered. "I think you might send Alfred, Your Majesty, but naturally, I'm to stay with you to keep your schedule and maintain the Household."</p>
<p>Alfred looked a little crestfallen at the prospect of traveling without Edward but he understood the duties of Royal service.</p>
<p>"Pishposh," Victoria said, dismissing Drummond's protests. "You've both had a very trying few months. You can go down there, check in on Albert and enjoy a week's time in each other's company." Edward's face showed his concern. "I've gotten on just fine without a Secretary in the past. I think I can do without you for a week or so."</p>
<p>Edward smiled as he looked over at Alfred.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The City of London rolled past as the small yacht that had been lent to them sailed the Thames.</p>
<p>"Did you ever think we'd be provided such a chance to enjoy the Royal appointments on our own?" Edward asked as he stood at the railing.</p>
<p>"No, my darling." He leaned into Edward's side and the taller man wrapped his arm around him.</p>
<p>"I suppose the secret's out now," Edward said, his normally cautious nature thrown to the wind.</p>
<p>Alfred nodded, happier than he though possible that he could just be there with <em>his</em> Edward without fear and without hiding. Victoria had warned the small crew of the yacht if there was so much as a question of fear or concern, or that they had been made to feel uncomfortable, she'd deal with the crew swiftly and harshly, continuing to say, 'I should hope you will serve Lord Paget and Sir Edward with the same dignity, respect and deference that you show me.'</p>
<p>"Not that I would blatantly make love here on the deck," Edward said, blushing. "But it's nice at least to hold you as my own."</p>
<p>The vessel's path twisted and turned with the river as the City of London faded behind them, the fog of industry giving way to pastoral fields as the Thames widened. The air even smelled cleaner and to some extent Alfred was put in mind of Scotland.</p>
<p>"You know, we may not want to make love here, on the floor, but I certainly wouldn't mind a kiss, Edward."</p>
<p>Drummond didn't need any further encouragement and he leaned down. His eyes got lost for a moment in Alfred's and his breath hitched. It always seemed to hitch and he was in constant surprise of the effect Alfred had on him. He closed the distance, letting their lips brush, barely touching at first. Both men felt the need for more, for greater contact. Edward leaned in again this time kissing him directly on the lips, still chaste though. When he pulled back, Alfred leaned forward as if to follow Edward's lips. Finally, he brought them together again and claimed Alfred's mouth with his own. Tentative at first, but with building fire, Alfred became swept up in it and he opened his lips ever so slightly below Edward's, giving him access. Edward accepted the invitation and their tongues met in a loving dance. Alfred moaned ever so slightly and the low sound sent shivers down Edward's back.</p>
<p>Edward pulled back, taking a breath. "I do love you, ever so much." He was reveling in being able to say that, and not behind closed doors.</p>
<p>"I love you too, Edward."</p>
<p>The sound of a throat being cleared tore them from their own little world. "Forgive the intrusion, sirs," a young seaman said, the hint of a smile on his face. "The Chief Steward would like me to tell you that luncheon is ready in the salon."</p>
<p>Almost as if it understood, Alfred's stomach grumbled. Edward laughed. "You know, for a man of the Court, you do make some rather impolite noises."</p>
<p>Edward's double entendre did not go unnoticed. "You don't seem to mind them all that often."</p>
<p>The Steward had laid out a most delectable meal for lunch. The table was rife with oysters, a lovely salad, and skewers of chicken in some peanut sauce. The men sat down to eat as the first course was brought to the table with all the flair of a Royal meal. Before the young men started enjoying the oysters, the Steward approached the table.</p>
<p>"Gentlemen, I hope you find everything to your liking. This particular lunch is a favorite of His Royal Highness when he travels back and forth to the Isle of Wight." Edward and Alfred glanced at each other with a smile. "The captain wanted me to inform you that we should expect to be arriving tomorrow, late morning. After we arrive you will go by carriage the short distance to Osborne House. A telegram was sent ahead that informed the Prince of your approach. We received his reply just before our departure. Unfortunately, the accommodations in the house are ill equipped of yet to house you. As such you'll continue to stay here aboard <span class="u">Her Majesty's Yacht Alexandria</span>. This afternoon, tea will be served on deck at four thirty and supper will be here in the salon again at ten. In the meantime, should you require anything, I am at your disposal." He backed two steps away from the table before turning crisply on his heel and drifting to the edges of the room.</p>
<p>Alfred up ended an oyster, enjoying it.</p>
<p>"As good as Ciro's?" Edward asked cheekily.</p>
<p>Alfred dabbed at the corners of his mouth with his napkin before he answered. "Better." He reached for another. "You really must try these. They are in this spectacular champagne vinegar. They are truly fit for a Queen."</p>
<p>With the final course, a single glass of champagne was offered before they made their way back up to the deck, laughing as they went. "Darling, why is it, do you suppose, the Queen shows us such love and support?"</p>
<p>Alfred thought about his answer for a moment. "Perhaps because she's young. We do have a different view of the world from that of our parents. Perhaps she just believes that all love is valid. Or maybe she feels some sort of kinship, being an underestimated, young woman with men often trying to keep her under their thumb. Or perhaps a combination of them some, or all of them." His head was cocked to the side in thought as the yacht turned again. "What I do know, my beloved, is that I am eternally grateful that she does support us so."</p>
<p>"Hmmm." Edward replied, contented. "This really is so lovely. Almost idyllic."</p>
<p>Alfred hummed in agreement. "I think, Edward, that I should like to take you home to Plas Newydd. I think you might agree that <em>that</em> is truly idyllic."</p>
<p>Edward's smile lit his face. "I would very much like to see that. Your home, where you grew up. Perhaps get to know your family a bit better."</p>
<p>"I think it's a bit soon after this lovely holiday to ask Her Majesty for time away from Court, but you will have the opportunity to get to know a bit of my family again soon. Mother and Papa, as well as Clarence and George will be coming to London later this month."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It turned out, tea was not to be served on the vessel's deck as they found themselves in a storm very soon after exiting the Thames into the open waters. Alfred skipped tea all together, instead clinging to the sides of the new toilet in the water closet off of their stateroom. Edward wasn't nearly as affected but he too was feeling a bit green as the vessel tossed about.</p>
<p>When Alfred stumbled out of the water closet and returned to their stateroom, his normally alabaster skin was now green. "Nearly idyllic, you said." Alfred spat, clinging to the door frame. "Forgive me, Edward, but I don't typically see losing my lunch and dry heaving for the next twenty minutes as 'idyllic.'"</p>
<p>Edward was clutching the bedpost. "I didn't call <em>this</em> idyllic. This is a nightmare. I had hoped we might see the Cliffs of Dover but at this rate," he said as the yacht rode a wave. "we'll be lucky if we don't see only the bottom of the channel."</p>
<p>Alfred took an unsteady step into the room. "Don't say such things." His voice was weak, but not from sickness, rather from fear. "I cannot bear the thought of it."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When the storm finally abated, both men were practically huddled in there stateroom together asleep. The Steward knocked on the door opening it just after. "Gentlemen, my apologies," he said, gently waking them, "The storm has dissipated and dinner will be served as planned at ten. Unfortunately, the storm has slowed our arrival and we will not arrive until quite late in the evening, tomorrow now."</p>
<p>Edward looked up, the green fading from his cheeks. "Have we passed the White Cliffs yet?"</p>
<p>"No sir, we should pass Dover in the next hour or so."</p>
<p>Alfred's stomach hadn't settled yet, but he admitted that he was enjoying seeing Edward so excited.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The Steward had been right, and even though dusk was heavily upon them, Edward and Alfred gathered at the railing to watch the brilliant white cliff faces slip passed - the striations of chalk and flint layering the cliffs like a cake. In the distance behind them, a light flashed to life.</p>
<p>"Edward, I think that's South Foreland Light. It's fairly new."</p>
<p>The deck fell silent again as they admired the wondrous, natural fortification; the formation that had kept even Julius Caesar at bay for some time; the formation told of in story and song for centuries.</p>
<p>"There is a cliff, whose high and bending head looks fearfully in the confined deep: Bring me to the very brim of it, and I'll repair the misery thou dost bear... " Edward said as they passed.</p>
<p>"Edward?" Alfred asked, vaguely recognizing the words.</p>
<p>"King Lear," Edward said. "The blind Earl of Gloucester wants to throw himself off the cliff but Edgar, the fool, tricks him into believing the small ledge he's on is the cliff, saving him."</p>
<p>Alfred looked at him with concern in his eyes. "Again talking about jumping from some great height, Drummond?"</p>
<p>Edward looked down at Alfred with a smile. "Not at all, darling. It's just the first thing that came to mind, seeing them." His arm snaked around Alfred's back again as they watched the cliffs fade into the distance behind them.</p>
<p>The sky turned brilliant orange as the sun slipped below the sea, casting the cliffs in a yellow orange, the lines of flint and chalk looking like the lines of a brush stroke. For the first time ever, it felt as they were the only two people in the world, as though the world around them was a magnificent artwork done by a Renaissance master, just for them. Above them, the sky was streaked with wisps of clouds, the last remnants of the storm that they'd sailed through just an hour before.</p>
<p>It was not long before the brightest of stars started revealing themselves as the orange sky changed to a blanket of dark blues and blacks. The men continued to stand there, the sea and English coastline slipping past as more and more points of light broke through the darkness, the sky dominated by the moon. Edward's arm remained wound around Alfred's waist and the two men's heads leaned against each other.</p>
<p>"Excuse the intrusion, sirs," the same sailor that had told them of lunch had stepped up behind them. "Dinner will be served in just a moment."</p>
<p>Alfred lifted his head and turned his gaze to the young sailor, a lazy smile on his face. "Thank you. We'll be down presently."</p>
<p>The sailor nodded, lingering for a moment before he backed away and returned to his duties.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alfred was tucked, just as he liked, against Edward, his head resting on the taller man's chest as it rose and fell with his steady breathing. He'd expected that the gentle rocking of the yacht and the rise and fall of Edward's chest might lull him to sleep but instead, his mind kept drifting, delighting in how strong Edward's heartbeat was, how steady his breathing was, how tangibly <em>alive</em> Edward Drummond was. It was a frequent path that Alfred wondered down - he'd been so close to losing him, both as a romantic interest, and in life. When he'd been sitting that horrible night in Ciro's, he thought there could be no worse pain than what he'd felt, the man he loved so dearly and who he'd thought loved him, rejecting him, hurting because of the words he'd said. The next morning he was shown just how wrong he'd been, the worst thing wouldn't have been have to live without Edward, it would have been a world where he'd have to live where there was no Edward Drummond - a world where that spark of light had been extinguished by a madman's bullet. And years ago, he thought he could never be happier than when he'd been appointed to Victoria's Court. But he now knew there was no better feeling, no more tangible joy, than he felt at that moment, wrapped in Edward's arm the cool sea breeze blowing in through the porthole as they steamed along.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The late afternoon sun on the Isle of Wight was much warmer than Edward had expected, and he was fanning himself rather vigorously as the open top carriage carried him and Alfred toward Osborne House. When they got there an hour later, the house that they'd expected was... well, not there. Any description that Her Majesty had been given was now incredibly out of date. Instead of the moderately large house, now the beginnings of a proper palace were taking shape. Two huge towers reached skyward from differing ends of the home. Ladders and scaffold encased the structure as workers continued laying bricks, running pipes for both plumbing and gas lighting and heat.</p>
<p>As Edward stood with Alfred at the edge of the estate, he could not help but see Prince Albert's distinctive mark all over the property.</p>
<p>"Sir Edward, Lord Alfred," came Albert's distinctive, German lilt from behind them. "I am so happy you made it to see what we are accomplishing. Welcome to Osborne House."</p>
<p>Alfred and Edward exchanged a glance. "Is 'house' really best descriptor, Your Royal Highness?" Alfred said politely.</p>
<p>"It is perhaps a bit more involved that I originally expected but I think you will agree that this grand home is fitting for Vi'toria." Edward was always amused by Albert's tendency to miss out the 'c' in Her Majesty's name when he got excited or spoke quickly. "Please, let me show you."</p>
<p>Albert lead Edward and Alfred through the property, showing off the features that he'd designed, those he was particularly proud of - the towers, and patio with the double stair cases that lead down to a walk way enclosed by three magnificent arches, all looking out on a splendid garden that was crowned with a beautiful fountain, the water works for it already running.</p>
<p>"There's quite a bit that's already up and running, Your Highness," Edward said admiring the fountain.</p>
<p>"It is important, Sir Edward, that those working here are able to enjoy some of the splendor even now. You see here even the gardens are being worked and this path we shall use to make our way to the beach, it will be large enough for our bathing machines to pass through."</p>
<p>Albert was proud, very proud indeed, of what Osborne was becoming, but Edward had to ask how much the Queen was going to enjoy it, especially since she'd been consulted on so little. The Prince continued his tour. "You see gentleman, on this second floor here, there shall be rooms for all the court and below we shall be ready to house about half of the staff from Buckingham Palace. This will ensure we can maintain all the amenities of our lives in London while still being very far away."</p>
<p>As he walked with the Prince and Alfred, Edward began making notes in his ever present journal, descriptions of the work and gardens at the new Osborne House.</p>
<p>"I ask you, Sir Edward, not to tell much of the work here to the Queen. I would like it to be a happy surprise when it is finished."</p>
<p>"Of course, Your Royal Highness." Edward didn't stop writing. His fingers were stained black from the ink leaking out of the new fountain pen he'd purchased, hoping to make his note making easier. He was muttering under his breath about the ink when Alfred came up close.</p>
<p>"Even on holiday, you're still working." Alfred ran his <em>clean</em> hands through his hair and smiled at Edward.</p>
<p>Edward reached forward and took Alfred by the chin, pulling him close for a flirtatious peck on the lips.</p>
<p>"Gentleman," Albert said clearing his throat. "I would warn you that this is not Buckingham Palace. I cannot say that those who work here would not react... badly to you."</p>
<p>The two broke apart and Edward replied, "I would have thought, after Lothian, that it's fairly common knowledge."</p>
<p>"Lord Alfred, you will remember that neither of your names appeared in the reports. And even if the people here did know, knowing and seeing are two different things."</p>
<p>"Indeed," Edward said skeptically. He'd enjoyed their time on the <span class="u">Alexandria</span> and he was not thrilled with the idea of pretending again.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>A cozy restaurant in Cowes, less than an hour's ride from where the yacht had docked, was where they ended up for a late supper. Both of them could feel the conspicuous presences of eyes on them, even more so on Alfred than on Edward. Alfred shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of so many people. Edward just smiled, like he was in on some joke that Alfred wasn't.</p>
<p>They were halfway through their meal when a young boy, no older than Prince Bertie, ran up to their table. Before his parent's were able to pull him back, he said to Alfred. "Whatchu got all ovah yore face?"</p>
<p>Alfred looked taken aback, not because of the way the boy spoke but from what he spoke of. "Excuse me?"</p>
<p>Across the table from him, Edward was barely containing a laugh.</p>
<p>The boy's father pulled him away before he could disturb them any further - or clue Alfred in.</p>
<p>He looked across the table to Edward. "The strange looks have been happening all day," he said, " and they've all been followed by you sniggering. And now that boy. Edward what on Earth is going on?</p>
<p>Edward looked up with a smile, and brought his hands up open palmed as if showing him or offering him something. They were smeared with black ink from his fountain pen and he rubbed his fingers together. Finally, it dawned on him; earlier, the gentle tug at his chin, the sweet kiss - the tug at his chin with Edward's ink stained hands. His mouth opened, flabbergasted. "There's ink all over my face, isn't there?!"</p>
<p>"I'm not sure that 'all over' applies here but there is decidedly a rather... prominent portion of your face that might be a tad discolored, possibly from my own hands." He was smiling broadly.</p>
<p>"How could you let me go all day like this?"</p>
<p>"As opposed to what?" Edward said, his laugh abating. "Dragging you off for a scrub?"</p>
<p>Alfred glared at Edward in silent indignation as Edward sat across from him; a smug grin sweeping across his features.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was nearly midnight when they returned to the <span class="u">Alexandria</span>, and very few of the crew seemed to still but up. A few were brush scrubbing the deck while on the bridge between the paddle wheels from where the captain controlled the vessel, a single man stood, simply on watch.</p>
<p>"Shall I ask one of those boys with the brushes if they might wash your face, Alfred?" Edward said jokingly as they made their way toward the hatch to take them below to their stateroom.</p>
<p>Alfred tried to sound indignant but it wasn't working. "You know, Drummond, you really can be such a bore."</p>
<p>"How ever <em>do</em> you love me?" he joked back.</p>
<p>Alfred grabbed his elbow as they walked the corridor. "I don't know," he said, his voice taking a husky quality, "But I do, irrepressibly."</p>
<p>Their eyes were locked, holding each other in their gaze. Finally, after a bit of time, neither could say how long, Alfred pushed Edward back against the wall of the corridor and claimed him, his mouth moving quickly from Edward's lips to his neck, trailing kissing and light bites down to the tender spot where his neck and shoulder met. The most delicious sound erupted from Edward's lips and Alfred pushed back off of him, a dazed look in his eyes.</p>
<p>"What?" Edward said.</p>
<p>Alfred said nothing as he locked his hooded eyes with Edward's.</p>
<p>"Oh. I suggest we get to our stateroom, Alfred, post haste."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Even after the ink debacle, the trip had been wonderful, from the food, to the rides around the estate to the swimming at the private beach. Alfred regretted having to leave but he also knew that the Queen had already been most generous offering them this holiday as it was. As the yacht pulled away from the pier, Alfred stood at the back railing watching the small port grow smaller and smaller. He couldn't help but think of the last time he and Edward were leaving a lovely holiday - Scotland. <em>Back to London.</em> But this time, back to London wasn't the punishment it had seemed a year before, now they had love and support. And, Alfred admitted, he was looking forward to seeing some family soon in London.</p>
<p>The sun had long set by the time they were sitting for their last dinner on the yacht, the sea was like glass. Fresh lamb and sprouts were the entrée but only after a delicious summer salad and a cold strawberry bisque.</p>
<p>"The final course, gentlemen, is a favorite of Her Majesty's, the champagne jellies." The steward lower a serving plate onto the table with a spectacular gelatin dessert, a clear jelly mold with a bright blue spiral of a cream of some sort, twisting through the towers of gel. He spooned the treat out onto each man's plate and both happily dove their spoons in. The salon was silent apart from the occasional clink of silver to china.</p>
<p>With the close of the meal, and the end the port, Edward and Alfred moved up to the deck for one final night of watching the stars, the million points of light that the near constant haze over London hid. "I could exist like this forever." Edward hummed as he looked up to the stars. "What say we lie down here, on the deck for just a few moments to watch the sky?"</p>
<p>For a moment Alfred looked at him as though he'd lost his mind, but after letting the idea sit for a few moments, he dropped to the deck and laid back, waiting on Edward to join him. He did not wait long.</p>
<p>Edward had only planned to lie there for a few moments but when he heard the footsteps of the on duty crew changing, he realized they must have been there for hours. The footsteps stopped right beside them and Edward looked up to see a young sailor, the same they'd seen several times. He tried to signal to Alfred to get up, but Alfred had fallen asleep.</p>
<p>"I thought you gentleman might like a blanket," the young sailor offered.</p>
<p>Edward gently shook Alfred awake as he spoke. "Thank you, it's most appreciated, but not necessary. We'll be turning in now, I think."</p>
<p>Edward rose, and bent to help Alfred up. Alfred took only a moment to shake himself into coherency and Edward put his arm at the small of Alfred's back and started leading him below.</p>
<p>"Sir Edward, Lord Alfred." The men stopped and looked back at the sailor. He was red and visibly shaking. They waited just a moment. "I just wanted to say... What I mean is... I'd like... Thank you," he finally said after several false starts. "Your courage has kept some people alive, Her Majesty's clear support tells some young men that they aren't so terrible as they've been told... That we've been told. It's uh... it's nice to see there are others like me out there." He finished his stuttered sentence, his head bowed, his face hidden and he retreated to his duties without another word about it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all! Hope you guys enjoyed this rather fluffy chapter. Sometimes it's nice to just take a break. Of course, this cannot be the end of the drama.</p>
<p>Let me know what you think! See you guys next week.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The Welsh Incursion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alfred's family descends from Wales for a surprise event. The Queen starts seeking advice on what to do about the Commander in India's replacement, without the Government.</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e5ftHXOEso</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Why is your family coming into London?" Edward asked as they sat at Ciro's. Edward was <em>finally</em> trying the oysters.</p><p>"You know, Edward, I'm not really sure. They're being rather secretive." He took a sip of his champagne. "Mother says that it'll be a joyous occasion to have all the Pagets together. It does make me think that perhaps it's more than just my parents and Clarence coming in." He was looking forward to the waiter arriving, his mouth was watering and he could practically taste the baked haddock already. He was pretty sure Edward was going to get the roast duck, Edward did love duck.</p><p>"All of them?" he asked surprised.</p><p>The waiter approached and Alfred waited until after he'd placed his order to answer - Edward did indeed order the duck. "Yes, well I suspect as much. Mother mentioned Brown's Hotel. I do hope they are ready for a Paget invasion."</p><p>Both men laughed and each sipped down his first champagne.</p><p>"When do you think they'll arrive?" Edward said as he sunk his knife into the perfectly prepared duck. The waiter returned and refilled their glasses.</p><p>Alfred had beaten him to the first mouthful and there was a pause before he answered. "Tomorrow or the next day I expect."</p><p>"I admit, Alfred," he took another drink. "I am more than a little unnerved. I've only met you parents and Clarence."</p><p>Alfred looked across the table lovingly. "Edward, they all know about..." he leaned in, "us." He came back to a more upright posture. "Not one of them takes umbrage. And according to Clarence, they are all rather looking forward to meeting you."</p><p>"I'm rather certain that that provides no comfort."</p><p>Alfred laughed.</p><p>***</p><p>"Lord Alfred," the Queen said as they made their way back to their apartments. "Sir Edward." Both men bowed their heads and spoke in unison.</p><p>"Your Majesty."</p><p>"I'm rather looking forward to having your family to the palace for dinner. We'll pull out all the stops." She looked to Edward as if to say 'make it happen.'</p><p>"Forgive me, Ma'am, but I'm rather surprised you know about my family coming to town.</p><p>Victoria smiled. "I'm the Queen, Lord Alfred," she said, almost as if that was an explanation. It was very clearly meant as a joke but there was a quality to her smile that was 'knowing.' It unsettled Alfred.</p><p>"Yes, Ma'am. Well, we shall see you in the morning, Ma'am."</p><p>When they got back to their apartments, Alfred still had the unsettled feeling. "That was strange," he commented.</p><p>"Yes," Edward replied. "I wonder what she knows, and why she didn't tell you."</p><p>Alfred's expression was a thousand miles away. He was apprehensive, to say the least. Why would his family as a whole be coming, and what could possibly be an explanation for the Queen knowing and he not?</p><p>"We can sit here all night and puzzle it out, Alfred. But I don't think there is anything in our walls that will provide any further insight. Let's go to bed, darling." Edward had already removed his jacket, waistcoat and bowtie while Alfred had been staring into the void.</p><p>"Hmm?" he pulled himself back as he caught up with what Edward had said. "Right you are," he finally replied as he turned around. "Well that hardly seems fair. You're halfway to bed and I'm still in coat and tails."</p><p>Edward laughed as he watched Alfred wrestle himself free of his jacket. "Yes, well; I was less distracted by family and more distracted by the weight of my eyelids. Now you can stay up and ponder the unknowable, but I'm going to bed down."</p><p>Alfred had removed his waistcoat, tie, and shirt in record time and was moving to the bedroom to remove his trousers and pants and tuck into his night cloths, following just behind Edward.</p><p>They both tucked into bed and pulled close. Alfred twisted his body and kissed Edward softly. "Good night, my darling."</p><p>"Good night, Alfred, love."</p><p>***</p><p>"When do we get to meet the Queen, Alfred?" His younger sister, Adelaide, asked.</p><p>"Tomorrow night, at the dinner that's being held at Buckingham Palace for everyone," he answered.</p><p>George clapped his hand on Alfred's shoulder. "I think the better question, Alfred, is when do we get to meet this, Drummond fellow?" George was in his uniform - he often was, even off duty - and looked every bit a fine soldier in Her Majesty's Army, and quite a bit like Alfred, though a bit taller.</p><p>Alfred wriggled out from under his younger brother's arm. "I didn't want to give him too great a shock, so I told him to stay at the Palace. He's still got quite a bit to do to get everything ready for dinner tomorrow." He looked around the lobby of the hotel, where his family had gathered. "Where's Clarence?"</p><p>His oldest sister Mary decided that even the slightest pause between the question and answer was too great and Alfred wondered if her speedy response wasn't a little <em>too</em> speedy. "He's out. He said he had much to do while we are in the City."</p><p>All the Paget siblings - excluding Alfred - gave each other knowing glances.</p><p>"All right, everyone. Don't you think this game has gone on far enough." The Marquess of Anglesey said. "Alfred, my boy. Clarence is getting married tomorrow next.</p><p>"Is that what all this is about?" he asked astonished.</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>"Well that's glorious news." He was smiling ear to ear. "I confess, I was wondering if Clarence was ever going to find someone we might marry him off to," he joked.</p><p>Emily, the oldest of the Paget children spoke up. "Yes well, when might we expect you to marry off?"</p><p>"Em, I'm with Edward. You know that."</p><p>She gave him a skeptical look. "Alf, we've all seen the ring."</p><p>"It's a sign of our devotion to each other."</p><p>"A wedding ring," George said flatly.</p><p>Alfred down played it. He and Edward had never discussed what the rings were other than symbols. They hadn't discussed what they might even call each other. "We exchanged them because we love each other and are faithful to each other."</p><p>"So... they're wedding rings," Adelaide said.</p><p>"What everyone is getting at, dear," Lady Charlotte said, "Is when can we welcome him into our family."</p><p>Alfred wasn't sure how to answer that. He'd known his family would always accept Edward, but society had such rigid definitions of family, he'd never thought that his family and Edward could be one, rather he'd often lamented that to Harriet. He didn't answer, he'd just sit with it for some time.</p><p>Lord Henry sat down in one of the great chairs in the hotel and produced a cigar from the inside of his jacket. He looked tired, more tired than Alfred could remember and he wondered how badly the travel had affected his father. Henry was nearly seventy five and Alfred wondered if it wasn't getting to be time for his father to stay closer to home, rather than risk travel.</p><p>"I suppose," Alfred began, "we can join you tonight for dinner. Will you be eating here, in the dining room?"</p><p>"We will be," the Marquess said, a little color returning to his cheeks though he still looked quite tired.</p><p>"Papa, are you sure you needed to come, that you're well enough to travel?" Alfred said, looking at his mother for an honest answer.</p><p>"Poppycock, I'm more than fit to travel. And I'm not about to let a little age keep me from my boy's wedding."</p><p>***</p><p>"Now remember, they aren't going to stand on ceremony. And you shouldn't either. If you must, you can address them as Lord and Lady, but nothing more formal than that." He was trying to calm Edward as they walked up to the hotel. "You aren't on trial, here Edward. This isn't an inquisition, this is just dinner. In all honestly I think my sister, Adelaide is more nervous about meeting you than you of her."</p><p>Edward nodded and straightened his tie one last time. "Right."</p><p>They walked through the lobby and into the dining room. The entire Paget clan had already been seated at an enormous table. Next to Lady Charlotte were two empty chairs.</p><p>Lord Henry's voice seemed to boom across the room. "Ah, Drummond!" he said rising to his feet. "It's good to see you again, boy. Come, sit."</p><p>As they circled the table to take their seats, Alfred distinctly heard his sister Adelaide whisper to Mary, "Alfred hasn't been kidding. He's quite handsome!"</p><p>A smug little smile crossed Alfred's face.</p><p>Alfred had been right, dinner hadn't been the interrogation Edward had been expecting and he found that he liked all of the Pagets quite a bit. Especially Septimus.</p><p>"Edward," George asked. "When do you expect the Queen to make a decision about the Commander-in-Chief in India?"</p><p>They were in Edward's wheelhouse. "Her Majesty would love to make that decision, and I'd love to give her a list of candidates. But it seems that the situation in India is not high on this Government's priorities."</p><p>"Meanwhile our men are suffering without proper leadership."</p><p>"It's not Her Majesty's fault, George," Alfred defended. "This Government has failed in foreign policy again and again."</p><p>"Calm down, Alfred. I wasn't laying this on the Queen. I'm rather impressed with how she handled the initial scandal."</p><p>Edward took a drink of the wine. "You speak of Her Majesty's address to Parliament," he said, not phrased as a question, but it was never-the-less.</p><p>"Exactly. It made waves all the way in America," George said. "It was good to see that uppity Whig, Russell get a good dressing down."</p><p>Next to Edward, Alfred was chewing on his lip with a Cheshire grin.</p><p>"Is there something you want to share, Alfie?" Clarence asked.</p><p>"You liked the speech then, George?" to which heartedly agreed. "And you Papa?"</p><p>Henry took a comically large drink from his wine glass and took a breath. "It's no secret that the Queen has favored Whigs, and not just Prime Ministers, but even her Court is filled with them, so it was quite the surprise when the Whig Government seemed content to let the Crown take the blame for its own mess. It was damn good to see Victoria put Russell in his place."</p><p>"I'm glad you all liked it." Alfred's face was spread so widely by his grin that he was looking a touch manic. "You know, Edward wrote the speech."</p><p>"Really," Clarence said, surprised.</p><p>The conversation around the table moved on from politics, to exploration, to religion, to economics, to history. Finally, Edward asked the question.</p><p>"Lord Clarence, might I ask who the lucky lady is that gets you hand? Is it someone known to London society?"</p><p>Clarence's face beamed. "Well, yes actually. She's fairly well known." He took a deep breath. "Lady Cecilia Wyndham."</p><p>"Lady Cecilia?" Alfred asked. "Lady Cecilia from Court?" Edward and Alfred exchanged looks of surprise.</p><p>"That's right. She's rather enchanting."</p><p>"Well that would be how the Queen knows," Edward said quietly to Alfred.</p><p>***</p><p>"Lord George," Albert asked, "You have served in quite a few places. Where was your most recent expedition?"</p><p>George had a mouth full of chicken and he took a drink of his wine to wash it down. "I have just returned from some time in India, Your Royal Highness."</p><p>Uncomfortable glances circled the table, everyone in the Household knew the situation that Queen had dealt with in India and what she was still waiting on.</p><p>It was clear that several around the table were hoping to change the subject, but Victoria decided to press on. "Lord George, perhaps you can offer your opinion on the Indian Question."</p><p>"I'd be happy to offer any insight I have, Ma'am."</p><p>She leveled her eyes at the young Paget. "Tell me then, Lord George; is brutality necessary to gain the loyalty of the local people of India?"</p><p>"I've never been one subscribe to the belief that political power flows from the barrel of a gun, Your Majesty, and I certainly don't think brutality creates loyalty. One need only look to America for that. Brutality in the south toward the blacks hasn't created any love for the oppressor and I don't believe that it would fare any better in India."</p><p>The Queen looked contemplative as she considered George's answer.</p><p>"I rather think that providing for them Ma'am, showing them that Your Majesty cares for them as she does her citizens here. That she is as much their Queen as she is England's."</p><p>"That seems a fairly reasonable idea. If only the Government would provide me with candidates for appointment."</p><p>***</p><p>The ceremony had been beautiful and there could not have been a more perfect backdrop than the gardens of Buckingham Palace. Cecilia was glowing and Clarence could not have looked happier as he and the newly minted Lady Paget moved down the aisle together. Barely minutes had passed from the end of the service before Household staff seemed to invisibly start changing the gardens over for the reception.</p><p>A beautiful banquet had been prepared for the newlyweds and guests.</p><p>The problem was that there were enough guests that Alfred and Edward did not know that they were unable to be there together. Instead, Alfred escorted Lady Wilhelmina Coke while Edward escorted Lady Harriet.</p><p>"What's got you in the morbs, Paget?" Lady Cecilia's father asked as he walked over to Alfred.</p><p>Alfred had been trying most of the day to wear a happier face but he'd clearly let his mask slip, so as Lord Wyndham spoke Alfred erected his Courtier's façade. "Nothing at all, my Lord. It's quite a joyous day, and one could not ask for a more idyllic setting.</p><p>"Quite right, Paget, quite right."</p><p>Alfred eyes looked across the garden to find Edward. Their eyes met and Alfred smiled shyly and bit his lip. Edward looked away, his cheeks blossoming with color. Alfred fantasized of the day he and Edward could have that, a day that he was well aware would not come.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you guys enjoy. See ya in a bit, and let me know what you think.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The Carol of the Bells</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edward starts to worry that Alfred is tiring of him, meanwhile the Palace is preparing for the Christmas holiday. Much to Edward's surprise, Alfred's family have descended on London for the holiday.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been wonderful for Edward, having Alfred's brother Clarence around, but all good things- and just a month after the wedding, Clarence and Cecilia embarked on their honeymoon. Queen Victoria had offered them the use of <span class="u">HMY Victoria and Albert</span>, but they declined, choosing instead to travel to America for a few months. What bothered Edward was, that since the wedding, Alfred had seemed rather melancholy. Edward had become worried about him. Life hadn't changed drastically, but many of the things they had once done, such as reading to each other, no longer interested Alfred. Edward was sure that Alfred was growing bored of him and he was absolutely terrified.</p>
<p>His fears seemed all the more founded when in early December he entered Victoria's study for their morning meeting; the Queen and Alfred stopped speaking as soon as he came in. He felt sure that Alfred was looking for an out and that broke his heart; he was still so hopelessly in love with Alfred.</p>
<p>With the Christmas holiday fast approaching, Edward was wracking his brain with what to get for Alfred. He worried nothing he could do would communicate his endless love. He'd thought of horses and Alfred's love of them, but Alfred had a stable of horses in Wales and he had his favorite horse from the Royal Stables in London, so that seemed to be a poor use of money. He'd have loved to have purchased a collection of his favorite poetry, but Alfred's interest in poetry had seemed to wane too. The last thing that Edward could remember him being interested in had been <em>Wuthering Heights</em>, and they'd read just before Clarence's wedding.</p>
<p>When George arrived, just a week before Christmas, Edward hoped he might take advantage of George's memory to come up with a suitable present.</p>
<p>"It's just that I want my gift to be something incredibly special and perfect."</p>
<p>"What about a new cravat? You know how he loves looking stylish."</p>
<p>Edward wrinkled his brow. "Yes, I'm sure that makes a fine gift, but this has to be something far more special that cloth."</p>
<p>"Good God, man. You're actually working yourself into a panic. What the devil is causing such a reaction about a Christmas present?"</p>
<p>Edward debated telling George. He was Alfred's brother, after all, but he also trusted George. "I fear... I fear... I fear Alfred is becoming bored of me. Perhaps so much as falling out of love with me if that is something that can happen."</p>
<p>George's reaction was far from what Edward had expected. "Listen, Drummond. My brother is many things. He's arrogant, demanding, priggish, has an inflated sense of self, and is very much a fussbudget; but the positives of my brother are that he is compassionate, kind, generous, and that when he loves, he does so irrevocably, and unreservedly."</p>
<p>While Edward knew that George was very much right about Alfred, it did little to calm his fears. And so he wrote to Lord Henry Paget asking for his advice for a Christmas present.</p>
<p>What he received back was more than he could have hoped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Edward,</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Enclosed in this parcel, you will find a pocket watch that belonged to my father. Alfred has admired it since he was a boy. Until, that is, Septimus damaged the back case, marring the shine on it. It is my recommendation that you take this to a London Jeweler, possibly the Crown Jeweler, and have the back replaced and an inscription that speaks to your love for each other.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>All the love of our family,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Henry Paget</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a brilliant idea and while Alfred and Harriet worked up a musical repertoire for the Christmas Eve soiree, Edward sought permission from the Queen to visit the Crown Jeweler. As he rode, in the back of the carriage he labored over what he might have placed on the watch but when the Jeweler asked, Edward immediately knew.</p>
<p>"You are more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, yours and mine are the same."</p>
<p>The old man gave Edward a very strange look but said nothing else as he took to the back of his shop.</p>
<p>When he returned to the Palace, he only hoped he hadn't made some dreadful mistake. Surely, Alfred would appreciate having his grandfather's watch, but if he truly no longer loved Edward, immortalizing such a confession would do little to make Alfred feel better.</p>
<p>That night, he barely slept, rather he tossed and turned all through the night.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He was absolutely dragging as he tried to convince himself to get out of bed. Alfred had actually gotten up before he had, an occurrence so rare Edward could count on a single hand the number of times it had happened in the time they'd been together.</p>
<p>He was very slow getting ready and when he finally stepped out into their sitting room, he was utterly shocked to find Alfred sitting in a chair reading the newspaper.</p>
<p>"Are you well, love?" Alfred asked. "I think your sleep was rather troubled."</p>
<p>Edward wasn't ready to have the conversation about his fears, so he lied. "Oh yes, just a lot to consider for the soiree. And worrying about what might be in the Boxes this morning.</p>
<p>"Yes, Papa had mentioned he expected some sort of holiday surprise from the House."</p>
<p>"You've been writing your father?" he asked, nervous that Lord Henry might have given away his present.</p>
<p>Alfred smiled up at him as he folded the paper and set it aside. "Not at all, my family arrived this morning. They've decided to Christmas with us at Her Majesty's invitation."</p>
<p>"They aren't Christmasing at Plas Newydd?"</p>
<p>Alfred folded the paper and laid it on the small table. "No, the Queen offered them to come here, some time ago apparently."</p>
<p>Edward shrugged on his jacket. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked nervously. To him, it seemed this was just one more thing that added up to Alfred's loss of interest.</p>
<p>"I only just found out. Brodie was knocking at the door this morning when they arrived. I admit, I was actually quite frightened at first. You were clinging to me and as I was walking up I thought we might have been caught."</p>
<p>Edward lifted his brow. "I'm afraid it's common knowledge around the Palace now."</p>
<p>Alfred stood, a glint in his eyes that Edward felt had been ages since he'd seen. It was beautiful. "I'm supposed to be getting to the study momentarily. I'll see you in a bit?" He asked as he crossed the small sitting room.</p>
<p>"Of course." Edward replied. "Ive just got to go to the office and skim the headlines."</p>
<p>"Good," Alfred said. "It's a shame we missed breakfast but alas." He walked to Edward and kissed him delicately on the lips. "I'll see you shortly." And he left.</p>
<p>Edward was thoroughly confused. Alfred had seemed so distant for so long only to have him suddenly swing back as though nothing had happened, as though nothing was wrong.</p>
<p>He had to admit, his lips still burned with the touch of Alfred's and he longed just to hold him, to rub their noses together as they had in Scotland... but he was already late.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"Additionally, Ma'am, Cabinet sent over this second dispatch box, separate from the normal." Edward said. Alfred looked so very bored by the contents of that morning's Box, his mind seemed a thousand miles away, but at least he still had a slight smile on his face.</p>
<p>The Queen opened the second Box to find a folded note and a full sheet of paper baring three names. Victoria opened the note and read it aloud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Your Majesty,</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>In this dispatch, you will find a list of three names, furnished to this Government by Lord Henry Paget, for your consideration in the replacement of the Commander and Chief of the British Armed Forces in India.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Palmerston</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The list was straight forward enough; all names that the Queen had seen before. Alfred had perked up and had come to stand behind the Queen. "If you'll permit me, Your Majesty, from what I've heard, I believe the choice you wish to make is Major General Hugh Rose, Ma'am."</p>
<p>"I think I should like to have the conversation with the Duke of Wellington." She turned her attention to Edward, an unspoken direction.</p>
<p>"Yes, Your Majesty. I'll call for him now."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The Christmas Eve soiree had started without a hitch. Edward was feeling incredibly comfortable, finally, with having planned it, even if he had to alter his numbers last minute to accommodate the Paget clan. People were mingling, the musicians were spectacular, Mr. Frankatelli's food was incredible, and the Queen... the Queen... It seemed Queen Victoria had disappeared.</p>
<p>Edward started looking around for her only to realize that she, Alfred and the whole group of Pagets had seemingly disappeared. Something felt off to Edward, and that dark part of his mind told him this was it. Alfred was casting him off.</p>
<p>Lady Emma appeared and took his elbow, grabbing his attention. "Sir Edward, Her Majesty wonders if you might attend her in the Throne Room.</p>
<p>He nodded once and made his way.</p>
<p>There had been no reason to think that anyone would or should be in the Throne Room so there were no footman to open the door. Edward opened it himself and slipped inside the imposing room. The Queen and her Equerry were sitting together at a small tea table, leaning in conspiratorially.</p>
<p>"Ah, Sir Edward, good," she said. "I was just finishing up a rather protracted conversation I've been having with Lord Alfred over the past several weeks. You see, he's been telling me of his feelings of late and his concerns."</p>
<p>Alfred wouldn't even look at him. He felt like he'd been taken back to Ciro's again.</p>
<p>The Queen continued. "I cannot blame him for how he feels. There must be such pain in seeing everyone around you what you cannot have yourself." She had something a kin to a smile as she reached across the small table to Alfred, goading him to finish.</p>
<p>"Edward," he started, "When we watched Clarence and Cecilia marry in the fall, as joyous as it was, I found myself slipping into deeper and deeper discontent. I have needed something to change and I've been seeking Her Majesty's advice and there does seem to be only one solution. There are certainly restrictions but the Queen is not opposed if you aren't?"</p>
<p>Drummond was very confused. It was like Alfred had missed out half of the conversation, or maybe Edward had. Alfred's kind smile started to fade as he waited for Edward to say something... anything. "I'm not sure if I missed some details there or if you did. Do you mind asking the question again?"</p>
<p>Alfred and Victoria both laughed a little. "That was me, I suspect." He took a deep breath. "God, this is harder than I thought." The Queen offered an encouraging smile. "Edward, a year ago, we both declare our intent to live as a wedded couple. Naturally, we weren't able to put words to it but we lived as such. With the Her Majesty's blessing, I'm asking you to do more than declare that we live as though wedded. I'm asking you to take vows with me, before the Queen. I'm asking that you allow us to use language that is far more explanatory that 'friend.' I'm asking that you marry me, perhaps not legally, but Her Majesty is the head of the Church of England. I'm asking that we truly be husbands to the other."</p>
<p>Edward's head was spinning. He'd been misreading Alfred's melancholia for months. Alfred wasn't bored of him, didn't wish to be rid of him. He wanted to truly be married.</p>
<p>The silence must have carried on longer than Alfred had expected, because Edward watched as the smile faded from his face. "Alfred Paget, you are truly an enigma sometimes," he said. "But I cannot imagine something better than to spend my life trying to puzzle you out. I would like nothing more than to take vows of marriage with you."</p>
<p>Alfred's face burst with light and joy, and the Queen looked as though she might cry.</p>
<p>"If there are no objections, Gentlemen, I thought I might invite some of our dearest in," the Queen said as the door to the Throne Room opened just enough for people to come through and the Pagets entered.</p>
<p>His face displayed his eureka moment. "That's why you family is here?!"</p>
<p>"I wonder how you feel about a Christmas wedding?" the Queen asked.</p>
<p>"Is a year long engagement all that necessary, Your Majesty?" Edward asked.</p>
<p>"Oh no, Sir Edward," Victoria said. "I meant tomorrow. We have all our dearest, unless you wish to invite your parents."</p>
<p>Edward needed no time to consider it. "If my family has not seen fit to be present in the joys of my life, then I can see no reason they should be present for this greatest joy."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"I think perhaps we ought to sleep apart tonight," Alfred said as they got ready for bed, removing their fineries. "I thought it might be nice for us to have a traditional night apart before we are forever bonded."</p>
<p>Edward looked at Alfred. "I love it. Though I shall miss you tonight. I have grown quite accustomed to your warmth in bed."</p>
<p>Alfred settled onto the sofa by the fire as Edward started for the apartments that had been 'his'. "Edward, I didn't me we couldn't be together for a while. I'd hoped you might sit with me."</p>
<p>Edward moved to join him, his cravat loose, and he sat with the man he would soon call his husband.</p>
<p>Alfred leaned against him. "I don't suppose you'd care to read, perhaps a little poetry?"</p>
<p>Edward laughed and reached for the book on the small table. It hadn't been touched in what had seemed like forever and now, as he flipped the pages open, it felt like coming home.</p>
<p>"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.<br/>
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height<br/>
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight<br/>
For the ends of being and ideal grace.<br/>
I love thee to the level of every day’s<br/>
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.<br/>
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.<br/>
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.<br/>
I love thee with the passion put to use<br/>
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.<br/>
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose<br/>
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,<br/>
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,<br/>
I shall but love thee better after death."</p>
<p>He closed the book and placed it back on the table. When he looked to Alfred, he saw the blond's eyes closed, a contented smile on his face. The greatest peace Edward had seen on Alfred in months graced his face. "Darling, we should get to bed."</p>
<p>"Yes," Alfred said, his eyes still closed. "Tomorrow is Christmas and our wedding."</p>
<p>Edward felt such warmth at Alfred's words, and he leaned over to kiss the shorter man. "Tomorrow is indeed our wedding."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>By the time Edward awoke, Alfred had left the apartments. When he peeked into the bedroom, he saw that Alfred had left it a complete mess; clothing strewn about the room. A set of Alfred's gold cabling were hanging off the bed and the bed sheets were unmade. Even Alfred's night clothes were piled at the foot of the bed. He smiled to himself and started changing into his best.</p>
<p>He'd barely stepped out into the corridor when Lady Harriet grabbed him. "Drummond, we've got a lot to do and not much time." She was practically dragging him toward her own chambers.</p>
<p>"Lady Harriet, what..."</p>
<p>"Shush..." she said, pulling him in to her apartment. "Lady Emma has Alfred. We must get you ready."</p>
<p>"I am ready."</p>
<p>The look Harriet gave him was somewhere between comic disbelief and judgement. "No, no. You need bathed and your hair better arranged. I've already had a bath drawn for you," she pushed him into a small room off of her sitting room. There were similar rooms connected to both his and Alfred's apartments but he hadn't thought to have a bath drawn. He supposed it was a good thing that both Lady Harriet and Lady Emma had the foresight to do so themselves.</p>
<p>When he finished, and had his pants back on, Harriet called him in to the sitting room. His shirt, cravat and jacket had all been ironed and she had one of the Queen's dressers polishing the buttons. "Well, Drummond. Come on, we've got to get you dressed and to the Throne Room."</p>
<p>"The Throne Room," Edward said, pausing as he pulled up his trousers. "Why the Throne Room?"</p>
<p>Harriet held his shirt open for his to slip into. "We can hardly use the ballroom. His Royal Highness has that set up for Christmas evening."</p>
<p>He'd nearly forgotten all the work he'd put in for the Christmas dinner planning, he'd been so caught up in the whirlwind of excitement he'd been in since the night before. "Oh yes," he said, buttoning his waistcoat and wrapping the cravat around his neck.</p>
<p>When Harriet deemed him presentable, and she'd rushed him to the Throne Room, he found the room set as it would be for an investiture. The Pagets all sat to one side of the room while the Royal Family - Prince Albert, and the children- and Court sat to the other. In the front row, Edward could see a golden mop of hair that seemed to be wearing a brilliant red uniform jacket. He took his seat opposite the aisle.</p>
<p>Moment's later, the door behind them opened and the Queen, in the full regalia of the Sovereign, entered. As one everyone stood and started singing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"God save our gracious Queen,</p>
<p>Long live our noble Queen,</p>
<p>God save the Queen.</p>
<p>Send her victorious,</p>
<p>Happy and glorious,</p>
<p>Long to reign over us.</p>
<p>God save the Queen!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh Lord our God arise,</p>
<p>Scatter our enemies,</p>
<p>And make them fall.</p>
<p>Confound their politics,</p>
<p>Frustrate their knavish tricks</p>
<p>On thee our hopes we fix</p>
<p>God save us all!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thy choicest gifts in store,</p>
<p>On her be pleased to pour.</p>
<p>Long may she reign.</p>
<p>May she defend our laws,</p>
<p>And ever give us cause</p>
<p>To sing with heart and voice</p>
<p>God save the Queen!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Queen turned and stood in front of the Throne. "Who brings these men to be married?" She asked.</p>
<p>The Lord and Lady Paget and Septimus Paget and Lady Harriet stood. Henry and Charlotte stood next to their son and to Edward's great surprise, Septimus and Harriet moved to stand with him.</p>
<p>"We do," the four said in unison. Edward wondered how much of this the Pagets had planned on their own and as he looked to see the whole family's enormous smiles, he realized they'd planned all of it. He was moved to tears.</p>
<p>The sponsors led them both to stand before the Queen. Edward could not help but to admire Alfred in his crisp, red uniform, the gold chains and cables looping perfectly around his right shoulder.</p>
<p>Victoria continued. "I authorize, as Head of the Church of England, Defender of the Faith, that this ceremony gives special social recognition as to a union that has already taken place in the hearts of Edward Drummond and Alfred Paget. Do you declare before me and before your witnesses here present, that you come here voluntarily and without reservation and that you are free by law to be married to each other today?"</p>
<p>Edward and Alfred looked to each other, both smiling, both with shimmering eyes. "I do," the both said together.</p>
<p>"Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter." She took a deep breath, her smile wide and her eyes shining as she spoke to her two friends. "Edward, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him? Comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto him as long as you both shall live?"</p>
<p>Edward's voice was shaking as he looked to Alfred who was holding the Book of Common Prayer open for him to read. ""In the name of God, I, Edward Drummond, take you, Alfred Paget, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."</p>
<p>The Queen turned to Alfred and he passed the BCP to Edward. "Alfred, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him? Comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto him as long as you both shall live?"</p>
<p>"In the name of God, I, Alfred Paget, take you, Edward Drummond, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."</p>
<p>The Queen looked out over the gathering. "One year ago these men chose to exchange rings as an outward symbol of their commitment to each other. The band of the wedding ring represents everlasting love, the ring a never-ending circle with no beginning and no end.</p>
<p>"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, Edward and Alfred have declared before all of us that they now wish to live and love together in marriage.</p>
<p>"Let us hope this day will form a milestone in your lives, one that you will look back upon with much joy and happiness. It therefore gives me great pleasure to pronounce you married, according to my authorization as Sovereign and Defender of the Faith.</p>
<p>"Congratulations, you may now both kiss, if you wish."</p>
<p>Alfred leaned forward. Edward bent slightly and they claimed each other's mouths in a tender, loving kiss. It was something Alfred had never experienced, the sheer joy of Edward's soft lips on his, mixed with the salty, dampness of their joyous tears. They were caught in each other and for that brief instant of time, there were no other people; no parents and siblings, no former fiancés, no Court or Ladies-in-Waiting, no Parliament, and no Queen. It was just Edward and Alfred. A moment later and all too quickly, time seemed to catch up with them, the world spun back into existence and they were washed in applause.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The Christmas dinner was huge, of course that was in part because it was both a Christmas supper and a celebration of Edward and Alfred's marriage. And it had seemed to take hours. Servers were coming as a constant parade in and out of the dining room delivering a steady stream of Mr. Francatelli's masterpieces; there was lamb, veal, pheasant, goose, duck, delicious sides and sweet breads, and for afters there were cakes, pies, and puddings galore, not to mention an array of jellies.</p>
<p>Finally as everyone sat back and the children were taken to bed with their gifts, Albert indicated that he wanted to move from the dining room to the ballroom, so they could enjoy it for as long as possible before it all had to come down.</p>
<p>As the group moved, some footman came to clear the table while the wait staff moved with the group to the ballroom, trays and bottles in hand. Alfred pulled Edward to a corner.</p>
<p>"My love," he said smiling. "I don't know why I struggle so with what to get you each year. I ended up writing Peel for advice. He recommended this."</p>
<p>Edward was instantly conflicted. On the one hand, Alfred had put enough thought into his gift that he sought out the one person who might have the best possible answer, but on the other hand, it could serve to tell the former PM the nature of Edward and Alfred's relationship.</p>
<p>Alfred produced a box about the size of Edward's tinderbox, wrapped in brown parcel paper. "I'm sorry the wrapping isn't more splendid, but I hope you'll find the gift to make up for it."</p>
<p>Edward tore at the paper at the short end of the box, and slid the contents free from the paper, the box itself was unassuming, navy blue with some printed gold filigree. He slipped the lid off to uncover the gift. Beneath the lid lay a silver fountain pen.</p>
<p>"I asked around quite a bit, for details on quality, and I tried quite a few out. This one seemed the best. The ink seems to come smoothly and it doesn't seem to leak. And it's solid silver so it should last you through out your career." He smiled shyly at Edward, like he doubted the beautiful gift.</p>
<p>Edward wrapped Alfred in his arms and held him tightly. "It's beautiful! Now, it's my turn to give you your gift." He pulled the box from his pocket and only then realized it hadn't been wrapped, but it was too late, Alfred had seen it. His eyes were enormous as he recognized the distinctive design on the box that read 'Garrard' and below in smaller lettering ' London 1735.'</p>
<p>"Edward..." he said, losing his breath at the idea that Edward had gotten. him something from Garrard. "Edward, please tell me you didn't spend too much on this. My God, Garrard is the Crown's Jeweler."</p>
<p>"As much as I wish I could tell you it's a Garrard piece, I cannot. They did the work though."</p>
<p>Alfred opened the box and his heart stopped. "This looks just like..."</p>
<p>"It is. Your father sent it to me and I had the back casing replaced and inscribed."</p>
<p>Alfred immediately pulled the pocket watch out of the box and flipped it over. <em>You are more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, yours and mine are the same.</em></p>
<p>"I took some liberty with the quote." He'd been starring at the floor while Alfred read it. "It's from-"</p>
<p>"<em>Wuthering Heights</em>," Alfred finished. "It's absolutely perfect."</p>
<p>The night continued with drinks and laughter and well wishes. Edward and Alfred started to slowly make their way toward their exit, but the Queen and Albert made their way toward the men.</p>
<p>"Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness," both greeted, Alfred continued on. "Prince Albert, sir. I am very moved by you show of support and how you've come to accept that Edward and I are in love"</p>
<p>"I admit," the Prince started. "I do not understand still. And I know that it is not something I could participate in. I know... How would you say it in English?" He groped for words for just a moment. "I know my limitations. But as Vi'toria says, love cannot be wrong; and I can see that you love each other."</p>
<p>Her Majesty smiled at her husband. "I wanted to give you both something that would serve as both a Christmas present and a wedding present." She smiled sadly. "I am sorry I cannot spare either of you for longer but I would like you to take the <span class="u">Victoria and Albert</span> on a holiday, three months."</p>
<p>The men looked at the Queen in utter shock. "Your Majesty..." Edward began to protest.</p>
<p>"Oh don't say no," she seemed to whine. "Let me give you this."</p>
<p>"Yes, Ma'am," they both spoke.</p>
<p>"Good, we'll discuss details tomorrow. But for now, you two should get to bed."</p>
<p>They agreed, said their good nights, and returned to their apartments.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello friends! </p>
<p>Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I spent some time finishing up and original work of mine and releasing it! So that's exciting!!! Anyway, I have several other original manuscripts I'm juggling right now so I can't promise and regularity to the updates here, but I can promise that it will be completed in time. I've got at least another 15-20 chapters mapped out!!!</p>
<p>Much love!</p>
<p>MK</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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